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It is Only a Word.

by MiniGem26


Questioner: Why do I feel like my problems are smothering me?

Answerer: You're anxious. Experiencing worry, unease, nervousness, about an imminent event with an uncertain outcome. It is the definition, but it doesn't tell you much, it can stress you out and then make you numb.

Questioner: Why do I experience it? I know its not just me -- the weight of the world?Answerer: No it is stress.

Answerer: Mental or emotional strain resulting from adverse demanding circumstances.

Questioner: Another definition cold unfeeling. What happened to all my second chances?

Answerer: Deep sadness, desperate measures. Depression, feelings of severe despondency and dejection, Mostly from lack of affection. Sometimes rejection.

Questioner: What is to help? What is to heal?

Answerer: Healing. The process of becoming sound and healthy again.

Questioner: That sounds good, how does it happen?  

Answerer: Hard work for satisfaction.

Questioner: Is it worth it?

Answerer : Hard work for satisfaction.

Questioner: Are you willing to work to push forward?

Answerer : Time will tell.


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107 Reviews


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Tue Sep 10, 2019 12:32 pm
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Asith wrote a review...



Ooh, an old piece jumps into the green room? And on review month too?

For the record, you've posted this under poetry, but I didn't read it as such. And that's good for two reasons: I'm not be poetry fan; and your piece works really well without the poetry label.

The thing I like most about the piece is the straightforwardness of the dialogue shrouded in the vague setting. The way you've talked about the issues "as-a-matter-of-fact-ly" really makes them hit hard, even to readers who may not relate. I especially like how you reference the coldness of the definitions you've listed out. This, combined with the fact that the reader has no idea who the "questioner" or "answerer" is really lets the premise form itself into whatever the reader interprets it as. I think that's why your piece works so well.

Moving on to criticism, which lies mainly in structure:
I would really suggest that you only type "questioner:" or "answerer:" at the beginning of lines where the speaker changes. Putting it on every line looks horrendously clunky, and doesn't add anything to the reader's understanding. We know who's talking for now. If anything, it just distracts the reader!
Instead of this:

"Questioner: Why do I feel like my problems are smothering me?
Answerer: You're anxious.
Answerer: Experiencing worry, unease, nervousness, about an imminent event with an uncertain outcome.
Answerer: It is the definition, but it doesn't tell you much, it can stress you out and then make you numb.
Questioner: Why do I experience it? I know its not just me.
Questioner: The weight of the world? "


Try this:
Questioner: Why do I feel like my problems are smothering me?
Answerer: You're anxious.
Experiencing worry, unease, nervousness, about an imminent event with an uncertain outcome.
It is the definition, but it doesn't tell you much, it can stress you out and then make you numb.
Questioner: Why do I experience it? I know its not just me -- the weight of the world?


It just makes the whole thing look cleaner and more efficient. You'd obviously need to restructure sentences based on how you want them to read, but the massive repetition of speaker tags is just unnecessary.

The other thing is that you need to use punctuation, even in direct speech! Use commas instead of line breaks. It makes it easier on the reader if they read something that's like what they're used to!

Besides those gripes, I really enjoyed this abstract conversation. Its openness to interpretation is really its strong-point




MiniGem26 says...


Thank you.



MiniGem26 says...


I have corrected some things.



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Tue Sep 10, 2019 11:59 am
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hello my friend FlamingPhoenix here with a review for you on this lovely night, and to help get your work out the green room, I really had to look through your portfolio to find this work, and I'm really glad I did find it.

Okay let's begin.
So I didn't see anything wrong with your work other than your title, but that is a very small thing. You see your title is a title meaning it doesn't need a full-stop. I think it may have been a mistake putting a full-stop at the end of it, but it didn't affect your poem in anyway. So you don't need to stress over it.

Other than that this was a great poem, oh that brings up something else, this was really great and all but I don't think it fits poetry, I think it should be in other, but that is just my opinion, and you can just push that aside if you don't agree.

Any hoo to me this was really funny, why? Well it's because I have this will myself all the time. Me is always asking the questions and my brain is the answer, and I just thought it was so funny having you written it out on paper and I could see how silly it looks, but hey there is no stopping all the questions.
I thought the flow of this work was great, there was no problem with reading it, and it all flowed together nicely. And your punctuation helped with that, when commas and stuff are put in the right places it always makes the work better.
I really like your idea for this work, it's very funny and it have me a good laugh, so do post more like this soon.

That's all form me for now, I do hope I will get a change to read and review more of your works soon, they bring me great joy to read and tell you what I think. I hope you will keep writing even if life takes over and have a great day or night.

Your friend and faithful reader
FlamingPhoenix!
Reviewing with a fiery passion

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MiniGem26 says...


Thank you, I have corrected some things.





Cool they look great!



MiniGem26 says...


Thank you.





No problem!



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Fri Mar 01, 2019 2:36 pm
MiniGem26 says...



Guys tell me if you like it.





Once I had asked God for one extra or two extra inches in height but instead he made me as tall as the sky, so high that I could not measure myself.
— Malala