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Black Hand's Ticking Claws

by MellyBourne


Black Hand's Ticking Claws

-

I see a black claw reaching out

Stealing Her from my hands

Leading gently to a distant land

How can I fight this shadow

As I reach out for my light

And see it dimming in the dark

Soon She's lost without a trace

-

Then I feel the impact of that hand

I hear Her voice, paralyzed and blind

And the black hand's ticking claws

As I lay there cold, forever still

A shattered spine, and broken will

Now my killer is my healer

And Her warmth a memory


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54 Reviews


Points: 82
Reviews: 54

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Thu Apr 15, 2021 11:31 pm
mordax wrote a review...



Hi there, mordax here!

I loved this poem and found it really interesting. I read it through a few times and viewed it differently each time. I have no critiques so I will simply provide commentary :)

When I initially read through this poem, I saw the claw as mental health--this depression as it comes to snag at you. The way you try to fight these shadows and find light but instead, that light continues to dim. Even the lines "my killer is my healer" I can relate to. It's as if these shadows you have tried so hard to run from and fight are in some ways a source of comfort. (not all the time though)

The second time I read it through, I saw it more as a portrayal of death. The way it is something to fear in life but when it finally comes for us all, ending our time, it's not so fearsome and rather it can be peaceful for life is the real horror.

Overall, I loved this poem and the different ways it could be interpreted. Wonderful job! You have a great way of eloquently expressing your thoughts while leaving them full of imagery and ambiguity.

mordax




MellyBourne says...


Whatever it means to you is right, you expierience art your own way. Thanks for the kind words and review.



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55 Reviews


Points: 2523
Reviews: 55

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Thu Apr 15, 2021 8:05 am
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akanbright wrote a review...



Wow, this is really an amazing one and I love it. Though it is a two verse poem, but it makes a whole lot of sense that is striking to the mind of the reader and could create a synergy of thoughts, that encompasses with it an imagery and suspenseful memory "now my killer is my healer. And her warmth a memory". I don't know the real idea intended for the poem or this part, but who would believe that your killer would turn out to become your healer.
More especially, I like the way you handled your figures of speech to create a conducive idea that relates the poem to the original background, but I think your poem's language is neither cold nor hot. What I mean for a fact is that the poem is not a high or low sounding one and as such may confuse the reader, and as for me, I tried hard to comprehend the theme of the poem.
Your diction and tone are a bit delusive and lacking, but I think your literary terms covered up for that. Try working on your writing techniques, its really helpful in the sense.
Apart from this, I don't have much to give as a review because you really hit the nail and pull the trigger.
Thank you for writing this, and I hope to review more of your work. Write on.




MellyBourne says...


Thanks. This was one of the most personal poems I've written so far, and I did not want to make it's content too clear. It means one thing to me, and could have a whole different meaning for the reader, or it could mean nothing to them. I appreciate your review a lot and I am very happy you enjoyed it.




The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names.
— Chinese proverb