Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
The darkness of teleportation released Fyn as his feet slammed into the ground again. He crouched low immediately, scanning the vicinity.
The Temple of Peace had been overthrown. Fyn had no other word for the cracked flagstones in front of him, the debris strewn across the courtyard, and the shattered windows and gaping doors of the building itself. The topiaries were toppled over and half-burnt in places and the ornate marble fountains were dry and stained a grim reddish brown.
His body moved automatically, trained from years of hunting and being hunted, and even as his mind gaped he seized Cassia by the arm and together they dove behind an overturned topiary.
This was enemy territory. More than enemy territory — they had walked straight into the command center of Iona’s army. According to Mithrinde, they had seized the Temple first in an ambush, both as a way to drive the Orders’ organization into disarray and to make use of the high ground overlooking the city. Now a dozen small battles raged in the streets below, as the retreating godformed armies and the advancing human one clashed.
He still felt unsettled in the head after that conversation, like there was a loose pebble rattling around his brain. Mithrinde's sheer and complete takeover of his body had happened quick as a whim, a swelling in his mote and then his thoughts changing, warping to be her thoughts, his tongue warping into her words. She had held no malice against him, caused him no pain, had even left with a warm sort of welcoming feeling, like she was glad he was there.
It was better than what Selach would have done. But if there was one thing Mithrinde had said that could have come out of Fyn’s mouth, it was that a god who took his follower’s will was not worthy of worship at all.
Cassia had relented and accepted Mithrinde’s help. Fyn supposed it was her decision and not his, and for the most part he believed Mithrinde’s remorse. But whenever he thought of how upset Cassia had looked when Tilana told her the truth about the gods, he had to grit his teeth and bite back a lingering anger.
“Do you think they’re keeping them in the main room?” Cassia whispered at Fyn’s side, peering toward the shadowed, half-collapsed opening. There was still room to get through, but Fyn didn’t like the look of the structure. The rest of the front porch, with its battered and blasted columns, could come down at any moment.
“They’ll be well-guarded,” Fyn whispered back, “and I don’t see any humans out here. We should head around the back.”
“Or we can go in here and take them by surprise,” Cassia said. “I bet they think this whole side is collapsed. You can go in your drake form and distract them—”
Fyn shook his head. “You have my mote,” he reminded her.
“And no way,” he added to forestall her second suggestion, as her face lit up at the realization that she could now turn into a drake. “Save it for when we have to fly away carrying a massive crate of shards.”
“Fine,” Cassia sighed. “But you aren’t going around the back and looking for trouble. This is obviously our best way in.”
She was right — Fyn was not confident enough in his ability to sneak with these massive wings on his back to justify trying to scout out the back of the compound. They had surprise and flight on their side. Better not to lose either advantage.
They crept forward, darting between the debris and freezing at the slightest hint of movement. As Fyn crept, he recalled how Kez had mocked him, an eternity ago now, for his inability to sneak properly because of his shiny red scales. Well, with the addition of pure white wings, that was one thing that definitely hadn’t changed.
Luckily, they saw almost no one as they approached. The walls around were manned, but irregularly, and all the guards’ attention was directed outward instead of in. Once or twice one of the figures looked around with a yawn, but Cassia threw an illusion over herself and Fyn quickly enough to stave off the wandering eye.
When they reached the wreck of the front porch, Fyn held up a hand to signal to Cassia to wait. He inched forward and ducked under a beam, running his fingers along the stone to sense its stability. He was not a troll, and stone pulled from quarries and worked was more Valja’s hunting grounds than Selach’s, but foot by foot he picked out a path between the broken stones.
“This way,” he whispered, guiding Cassia in front of him and showing her where to place each foot. She was still uneasy on her right leg, and he held her at the waist to help her balance. Her curly blonde hair tickled his nose and he wondered if his fingers felt as electric to her as her nearness did to him.
After one dicy moment where his wings overbalanced him and he almost slipped, they finally ducked under the last leaning beam of wood and froze, still screened by a single fragment of column as they looked into the Temple of Peace.
The large, austere room had been polished perfectly clean the first time he had seen it, when he had arrived with Zhiron and met Cassia for the first time. Now debris caked the floor and the front corner of the roof had fallen in, the streaming sunlight catching specks of dust in its beams.
The tall, ornate golden pillar that had once held the Treatise was gone entirely, taken or destroyed Fyn did not know. In its place sat a low, flat altar covered with a patterned rug. And kneeling next to it with a large crate at her side, taking shards of pottery out one by one and arranging them on the altar, was Sasha. Her long braided hair covered her face and her fingers worked quickly.
Fyn’s heart leapt. She was completely alone, as far as Fyn could see, and the only other entrance to the room that wasn’t collapsed was a small servants’ door in the back that stood slightly ajar. She would help them, he was sure of it, once he told her they had a plan that would free everyone, all at once, from the gods, and stop a war that would soon become more destructive than any other kind of change.
“Sasha!” he called softly, leaning forward out of their hiding place, ignoring the way Cassia stiffened beside him.
“Fyn—”
“She saved your life,” Fyn reminded Cassia. “She’ll hear us out.”
Sasha paused in her work but did not turn.
“Who’s there?” she said, her voice thick and strange.
Fyn was already stepping fully into the room. “It’s me, Sasha. Cassia’s here too. We have a plan to stop the war. Will you listen?”
“A plan to stop the war,” Sasha said slowly, her voice still oddly thick. “Tell me.”
She was still frozen in that position, fingers tracing one of the pottery shards she had just laid on the altar. It looked like she was trying to piece the jugs back together. Even from here, Fyn could feel the power, and that it was rapidly leaking away. They didn’t have much time.
“We’re going to make another Treatise,” Cassia said cautiously, stepping up to and just in front of Fyn as if to defend him from her. “If all the elemental gods agree, it’ll mean none are more powerful than the rest. Then the human gods might agree to peace.”
Said like that, Fyn couldn’t help but acknowledge the audacity of the plan. More likely than not, they would make the Treatise and the human gods would shrug and carry on their genocidal war. It would be exactly what they had wanted all along — the elemental gods unable to directly challenge them as their tide of death swept across the Basin. And that was if they got all the elemental gods to agree in the first place. Including Selach.
But they had to try. For Cassia, grown up without a mote she so desperately wanted. For Sasha, torn apart from her family because of Selach’s warped idea of loyalty. For every godformed or human who had never had the chance to know their gods, or who had only ever felt their weight as a crushing rockslide.
So he could go back to Mithrinden with Cassia and stay there, a free drake.
“We need the shards,” Fyn told Sasha. His arms twitched at his sides, ready to grab Cassia and dive if Sasha threw a knife instead of answering. “We can take you with us. You’ll be free.”
Still no answer. Sasha’s shoulders tensed, and Fyn almost moved right there and then. She was shaking slightly, as if struggling against something.
Then her head turned and she looked at Fyn at last, and Sasha’s eyes were not her own. They were pure black and pitiless, bleeding through the iris and completely coloring the whites.
She wept inky clouds of magic that stank of death. The energy rippled across the room and turned Fyn’s stomach. So here was Iona’s Death witch, who killed legions with a touch.
“You should have stayed in Mithrinden,” she said in that same wrong, soulless voice. “I didn’t want to have to kill you.”
A single shard of pottery fell from her limp hand as she stood and pressed a hand to the floor, her dark eyes not leaving Fyn and Cassia’s faces. The stone beneath her cracked, dark lines streaking across the floor toward them.
Fyn’s instincts took over. “Fly!” he shouted to Cassia, heaving her up by the waist and spreading his own wings. He leapt into the air and tumbled head-over-heels, trying desperately to catch the lift he needed to balance his body. He’d never flown in human form before and it was more different than it had any right to be.
By the time he finally straightened himself out, Cassia and Sasha were dueling. Cassia swooped around her in a beautiful display of instinct and skill combined, light blazing from her wings and hands as she fought. Sasha spun on her heels to keep pace with her, her braids flying around her head and her hands curled into claws.
Darkness sprayed out from her fingers in inky jets, thrown into the air like chains to catch Cassia and drag her down toward the thick essence of Death gushing from Sasha’s form. The floor beneath them was stained completely black now, and Fyn with horror knew how the outnumbered and untrained human army had forced the guard forces of all the Orders back through the streets of Promise to be besieged in Market Square. How could anyone fight the creeping essence of disease and death itself?
“Fyn, the shards!” Cassia shouted as she spun backward, drawing Sasha a step away from the altar, then another. Her breath was labored and she only narrowly missed the next death-ribbon Sasha threw.
Fyn seized his instinct to draw Sasha’s attention away from Cassia and dove at the altar instead, reaching out to sweep the shards back into crate so Cassia could transform and carry them.
But Sasha was ready for him. The altar froze cold as he dove. His fingertips brushed against the stone and the instant he touched the blackness they turned dead and numb.
Fyn snatched his hand up and cradled it to his chest as he passed the altar and swooped high into the air again. The red scales had turned gray and flaky, a grey that had nearly crept up his hand but was even now being pushed back by Mithrinde’s white glow.
His heart pounded at the close call. The deepest and most instinctive terror of humanity had struck directly to his core — Sasha’s power was wrong, and no human or godformed should have ever been able to wield it without losing all humanity or withering away themselves. Seconds more and he doubted anything could have pushed back the advance of Death.
He wheeled around in the air again, darting in front of Cassia and joining her diversion. They had no time. The cracking stones and wingbeats and his own cry would bring more mages running, maybe even Iona herself, and then there would be no hope. But they couldn’t get close to the altar while Sasha’s evil power defended it.
Spinning around each other, Fyn and Cassia locked eyes for a second, and Fyn saw that Cassia knew as well as he did the danger they were in. She pulled up short and glanced from him to Sasha.
Flame kindled at the fingertips of her good hand, and with a cry of pain Cassia sent a blast of fire to the floor.
Sasha had to roll to avoid it, but she sprang back to her feet and stood over the crate of shards in defiance. Though her fingers were red and blistering, Cassia was already readying for another blast, even as five, ten, fifteen tendrils of death spiraled up in the air toward her.
Fyn hung stagnant, hardly aware of his wings beating. He had never felt so useless on a battlefield. The two people in the world who meant everything to him, a human and an angel, and here they were going to kill themselves and each other and all he had was a pair of wings and a light show he hardly knew how to channel. He turned to swoop down not at Sasha but at Cassia, to take his mote back and fight Sasha himself even if it meant his death at Selach’s hands—
Then, even as Sasha drove her spiraling tendrils forward with a twisted hand, her eyes flickered unexpectedly and met Fyn’s.
A sliver of brown shone through the black. A single desperate plea.
Fyn dove. He folded his wings and spiraled down, not toward Cassia but toward Sasha, falling down the center of the deadly tendrils, right over her head. She looked up, her face stoic and still as ever, and brought her hands together.
The tendrils licked at Fyn’s legs as he reached over his shoulders. They sank into his feet as he seized a wing in each hand, closed his eyes, and pulled.
And they came wrapping around him a second too late, as he slammed palms-first into Sasha’s chest, knocking her to the floor and pressing the mote of Mithrinde into her chest.
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Canary word: Present
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Hi Mea! I've got a second review for you today :3 Let's jump right in.
So, I wasn't much of a fan of teleportation entrances at the start of chapters in the past (@chapters11&12), and my initial reaction to seeing another teleportation entrance at the start of this one was a bit of the same. It's always been Fyn at the start of all three, it's always a bit disoriented because he blinks into existence, and there's usually a lot going on around him. I bring this up because I'm torn. After I thought about it for a minute, this also felt like a really good way to show some growth in Fyn's character. See, the first time he was very disoriented, he fell down, bumped into things, etc. But this time, he crouches, he's poised and ready and on a mission. It does serve as a good contrast of the new Fyn with the old Fyn. So this is less a suggestion and more just me giving my initial thoughts. Do with that what you want, haha.
My first comment was related to the first line
Another question I had while I was reading was about Fyn's ability to sense the stability of stone. I'd always thought that this was some kind of magic bestowed upon him by Selach and also wrapped up into his mote, so I was a bit confused when he was still able to do this. Is this actually just form his experience with living in caves and digging/burrowing in stone? Does it have to do with having heightened senses as a drake? This does go back to the question of how much of their "form" is tied up in their mote? Like, is an angel without a mote still an angel? Just like a drake without a mote is still a drake? Not sure, but questions to think about xD
Also, I haven't gushed about your descriptions in a hot minute so let me take a pause to say dang. This was very very good. The fight scene was vivid, with enough description so I could see every action in my head, but not so much that it bogged down the pace. Not to mention, I felt scared. The way you described Death's magic was haunting, especially when you reveal Sasha's appearance. Of course the reader knows that she has been affected in some way and that this event is going to end badly (so great job building up that tension and making me go "oh no oh no oh no" out loud), but it was still a shocking reveal the way that Death's magic had overtaken her eyes and her body. Gave me shivers. Great job on that!
Small nitpick, but seized felt like a weird word to use here, because that made me think he was going to lean into his instinct and try to distract her. Maybe redirect? Funnel the energy? something else? would be better?
Another comment I wanted to make is that it was a cool detail to include of Cassia using the fire and it burning her fingers. It really emphasizes the fact that it's not her element. I'm not sure if it's because she is an angel and doesn't have fireproof scales/fingers like Fyn does or because Selach is mad so his fire is hotter or both, but it's still a really nice touch.
As a whole, I don't have much else to add for this section. It was just really good, really easy to read, and grabbed my attention to whole time. Like I said before, you built it up really well, and I liked that it was fast paced enough to really set out all the stakes (I mean, how do you fight the essence of death??), but still didn't let it drag on. Also, I definitely agree with Plume that Mithrinde has to be tired of her motes getting passed around at random haha.
Anyway! Looking forward to the next parts! ^^
Happy writing,
~ Wolfe
This is a great question that I absolutely need to be clearer about, but it's hard because moving motes around isn't common at all outside of Fyn & Cassia's very weird circumstances, lol. Basically in my head, when the godformed first came to exist as humans made pacts with the elemental gods, it profoundly and permanently altered their genes, not just their bodies. So the godformed's basic "forms" (Fyn's human form that's bipedal but scaled, Cassia's silver skin) are essentially racial features that got written into their genetics when their ancestors first made the pacts. So Cassia, who grew up without a mote, still has silver skin because she was born to angel parents. The secondary features, however, (so Cassia's wings and light powers, and Fyn's drake form and fire breath) are direct results of their motes, and they lose those powers when they lose their motes.
...And yes the exact line between a primary and secondary effect is probably a bit thin and I need to take a good look at being more consistent with it. xD
Hi Mea,

Mailice here with a short review!
This was a very interesting start and contrast to the previous chapter. Definitely read with some tension and pressure that something couldn't be right during the chapter. I liked how everything felt so light and easy at the beginning, like it was just a walk to the bakery and yet it all develops to a completely different point. It was a very charged chapter with a good build up.
It's one of the few times I really saw Fyn and Cassia working together for a goal and think you portrayed it very well too in their dialogue, how they interact and talk. I liked the moment where Fyn contradicted her, but it didn't sound like it was anger he was trying to express, but concern. You can really tell it's a whole new part where it comes to a new beginning for Fyn and Cassia.
Fyn and Cassia's meeting with Sasha was equally good and there was an ominous crackle in the air when they got there. The fact that Fyn or Cassia didn't immediately suspect anything I found a bit odd, maybe they were too blinded by their mission, but the revelation did give me a cold shiver down my spine. You managed the presentation well and waited for the right moment.
I liked the last third as well, it was the chapter without dialogue, unlike the rest. I found it very expressive as it showed that any diplomatic negotiations had failed. Your alternation of sentence structure and paragraphs gave the whole struggle a very strong side so far, and yet hope it continues just as it left off here. Fyn and Cassia have been through a lot already and hope it continues here too and everything comes to a good end.
In terms of the structure, it was well written. I liked how you started again with the descriptions here, and also wrote them in a new, dynamic style. Sometimes you included Fyn or Cassia, which I found to be a very vivid image. The fact that you didn't limit yourself to the view of things, but also to smells, was also a nice change and gave the whole situation and the place a new presentation.
I didn't find anything that stood out negatively and I think that since you are a master of the situation, there is nothing to criticise on the part of the story. The pace has increased and yet it still feels like your story, only more "adult". Overall, it was an excellent, thoughtful and exciting chapter. You stop at a great point, of course, which makes one curious to read the sequel.
Some other points that struck me while reading:
I like this brief interjection of a memory, showing that Fyn has changed since then and also showing that he can do differently than he used to.
This one sounds a bit weird because I'm missing the 'around', but I suppose that's how it goes?
This is the one moment that gave me goosebumps, and I felt it was a well-directed scene to drag it out to that exact moment. I really hope that Sascha will eventually get out of this spell that her mother has put on her. It seems as if she still has some sense left in her and has the ability to think for herself a little.
Have fun writing!
Mailice
Hey there! Plume here, with a review!!
I really enjoyed this chapter! I think it was so cool to see all the action happening. The confrotation with Sasha was so exciting, and I'm curious to see how Mithrinde's mote will affect her! Gahhhh the tension is building and it's so fun to see play out.
One thing I really liked about this chapter was the action. I know that was what a brunt of it was, but I'm honestly in awe of how well you write it. Sasha fighting with Death's magic seemed both terrifying and beautiful in the ways you described it. I also liked that bit where you revealed there was still some of Sasha behind Death's magic. I think you ended a chapter on a great note too, leaving the reader satisfied but wanting more and eagerly awaiting the next part. Fyn's internal conflicts during the batter were also really interesting to read, and I liked how you kind of used him as a narrator for this section. It was almost like he functioned as a gopro for the reader, so they had an outside view of the fighting. Nice work!
Specifics
Well, that's a relief. I feel like having someone take control of your body would be weird, but I think this little detail solidifies Mithrinde's loyalty.
Personally, I think that since Fyn's still talking, these would make more sense as one paragraph. But also sdjfksdjfh DRAKE CASSIA that would be so epic. Like, that presents so much opportunity. Fyn teaching cassia how to be a drake would just be soooo cute like aaaa.
Tiny thing: "dicy" should be "dicey."
The flow of this sentence seems a little off to me. I think it would work better if you put a semicolon in between entirely and taken rather than a comma, and then put a comma after "destroyed."
Really liked this bit. I think it really displayed quite nicely the motivations behind this. The repetition was a great touch, too.
Mithrinde's probably getting tired of fighting other gods through her motes tbhOverall: really great job on this chapter. Cassia and Fyn's plan is moving along, and now (hopefully!) Sasha's gonna get roped into it as well. Very curious to see what else is going to happen, and, as always, until next time!!