before i wake

Here we go! Our last review before I finally hit the sack! Trust me, my peeps! I saved the best for last! This'll be swift but deadly, so hang on tight, guys!

I like short poems like these, since they're easier to review! Why? 'Cause I don't have to scroll up and down as often, of course. If I could describe how I felt after reading this poem once or twice, I'd describe it with the word "colorful". Why? The various terms used sparingly throughout the poem made me think of a variety of different colors! Not counting the obvious imagery, "wood" made me think of green, "sky" made me think of blue, "fire" made me think of red, "thunder" made me think of the yellow... and so on and so forth.

There's not much room for improvement, and I'd tell you to make the piece longer, but I think it's amazing as it is. So, as always, take care, and do remember: Practice is key! I expect to read more from you in the near future!

Oh my gosh.

I kept seeing this poem and I would get so angry at it because of the title.

I was like

"Ugh, look at this clearly immature writer
being all
lowercase 'i'
and just
ew."

Then I was like

"I'm in a bad mood. I already wrote one bad review. I'm going to finally pick this piece apart."

Then I clicked on it.

And I read it

and my jaw dropped.

Congratulations because you blew my expectations and this piece is fabulous and beautiful and completely and utterly flawless.

Truly.

And I am such a poetry prude, you have no idea, man.

I've brought people to tears by editing their work and ripping it apart, exposing every flaw possible.

And I can't.

There is not a single flaw with this piece.

There is just art.

My favorite part is the ending.

You seriously rocked the ending.

"I pray for fire every night."

That's breathtaking.

That's not even writing anymore. This goes far beyond communication. This is art.

Don't you dare ever stop writing so long as this is the fruit you produce, and please pardon my heightened informalities. I'm really rather quite influenced by an unhealthy dose of caffeine at the moment.

Keep writing

xoxo

Kitty

Hello. Nice poem, great concept. It was simple yet not to obvious,and it was full of personality and detail. I like how the poem has a life of its own and it can be understood in different ways,depending on the reader! I also like how you described to us exactly what was happening in the poem,which made it easier to understand it,and have a mental picture in our minds. Keep writing. I thank you for sharing

Hello Maximilia,

RavenLords here to review you wonderful poem on this cold, winter day.

First off, nice poem. It is smooth, and stays on one subject the whole time.But there are a few things that can be improved.

Gorgeous things (asking that I come to slumber).
Never mind the distance. I see them
in the way I breathe. Sight lingering
in the mechanics of my living.

Gorgeous things (asking that I come to slumber).
Never mind the distance.
I see them in the way I breathe.
Sight lingering in the mechanics of my living.