Young Writers Society

Hello! Me again! XD

There's someone coming through the back door
I can sense their very presence
With all of the forces of nature pressed
Up against my will

There's a devil
They've got a new t-shirt
A new t-shirt

I noticed that the windows were cracked
And they let them do their business
There is nothing left but a common friend
If not very warm

I fell from grace aged 9
I fell from grace aged 9
I fell from grace
I fell from grace

I like it. I think it would be a little short, but the song I started writing is only three lines so far, so I'm not going to judge! I'd like to see more. It really sounds like proffesional lyrics and I enjoyed reading it.

its a great song it really is but what is the genre? pop? hip-hop? Classical? i think telling me what kind of song it is would put that song in my head....and keep it there, like all good and catchy songs. also its a little short, no? depending on how fast your going this song would 40 sec. - 1 min. about.

This is a good piece. I think I get what the central message of it is but I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps you could clarify the second part. From what I can tell I think you're trying to say that there is someone (perhaps your conscious) trying to tell you to have a certain belief. I'm going to guess the t-shirt has your name on it, no? Hmmm did you make up your mind about about where you stand on your beliefs at age 9? Well whatever the case this is a very interesting piece. Good job.