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Dear You.

by MasterGrieves


Dear You,
You were the man,
who promised.
But ended up giving me pain.

Dear You,
the man who caused,
this event.
The man who destroyed my vision.

Dear You,
the man who raped,
innocence.
I shall always remember you.

Dear You,
You the father,
of my son.
Poor bastard, he has no idea.

Dear You,
complete stranger.
Evil man.
The man who blinded my whole world.

                                                                           Your's sincerily,
                                                                           yet another victim.


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530 Reviews

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Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:27 am
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Renard wrote a review...



Hello.

So this is a very ambiguous work, in the sense that whoever "You" is supposed to be in this sense, they clearly aren't that liked by the person who is writing to them.

Dear You,
You the father,
of my son.
Poor bastard, he has no idea.


I like the way you play around with identity in this writing. It's very good. Especially the very dramatic ending:

Your's sincerily,
yet another victim.


A couple of typos though: unusual for you:

"Yours sincerely."

But that's just that.

I like the fact you're using punctuation here again. WHOO HOO! :D

Dear You,
the man who caused,
this event.
The man who destroyed my vision.


To describe this work in a word, I would have to say: Bitter. XD




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413 Reviews

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Sat Mar 31, 2012 2:44 am
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Cailey wrote a review...



Wow, this was very powerful. Though you never expressly state anything about the history of this poem- it showed up through the words. I think this could have some more imagery and detail, you make your thought come out very well- but I think you could do more. Expand upon this, make it more personal. I mean, I know this is told in first person, but if you added details it would feel even more real. Maybe a name for the child, or more hints at the story behind it. As for the theme, it's such an awful topic, and you did a good job at writing about it, making it real and yet not as devastating as it could be. Anyway, feel free to write on my wall or PM me in response to this review or anything. Also, keep writing, always write!




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Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:43 pm
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monsterwriter wrote a review...



This is great, next time you should watch how you capitalize your words.
The poem was able to achieve one of the key principles in writing a poem, to catch your readers attention.





oh to be a cat in a pile of towels
— ChesTacos