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Confession #14

by MasterGrieves

To be honest with you,
I never liked you in the first place.
I was trapped in your lies,
and so I went straight back to first base.
I told you everything.
I told you things that make me ashamed.
You wanted everything.
But why the random resentment, babe?
But what I have is greed.
The seeds of evil planted within.
My time has been wasted,
with your bickering- how can I win?
And now I'm sitting here,
waiting for life to go by so fast.
I know you will not win.
Because unlike your opinions, I'll last.
You will suffer one day.
I'm just putting it very lightly.
You will realise soon,
that life doesn't really shine brightly.
Your husband is a fraud.
Your husband is my father, as well.
He'll take you for a ride,
in his child-abducting car to hell.
You're only twenty-nine,
and he's at the age of fifty-one.
Oh, your eyes have regret.
Spreads the guilt like bullets from a gun.
But life's holiest book,
wasn't written by God nor Jesus.
Your husband and my father,
wants you to partake in a threesome.
In my room, paralysed.
In a state of questioning my life.
I seek solace in shame.
She may be mine but she's not my wife.
She'll never say, "I do",
even if she ever wanted to.
It'd be embarassing,
to marry a peasant so, so soon.
Define the word "betray":
there you go- it describes you & me.
You never had me in mind.
You are consumed by greed.
You are so subdued by your lying.
Your aspirations bore.
I'm not great, but at least I'm trying.

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530 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 530

Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:48 am
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Renard wrote a review...

Oooh, when my eyes hit this piece and started reading, it did feel like a personal attack. Which for achieving the effect of this piece, is gooooood.

'To be honest with you.
I never liked you in the first place.'

It's very conversational, which makes it meaner somehow. Treating someone badly so casually.

'You will suffer one day.' O.O The bitter overtones strike hard in this one.

'I seek solace in shame.' Best line. This character is clearly damaged. But I love them. < 3

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110 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 110

Sun Jul 22, 2012 5:42 pm
ImHero wrote a review...

I liked this piece a lot; your best I read so far ! I will rate this a 8/10.. I rated it 8/10 because the start sounded a tab bit dull the middle was absolutely amazing and the end was a bit dull.. something to look too.. rhythm is great in this piece I only suggest a one tweak and to fix the previous mentioned ^

He'll take you for a ride,
in his child-abducting car to hell.

I say end it with car at these two lines :)

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Points: 1100
Reviews: 4

Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:48 am
DreamGalaxy says...

Amazing I really love these Dark poems that make you feel the emotions portrayed......Amazing..

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20 Reviews

Points: 1133
Reviews: 20

Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:05 pm
TheCrimsonQuill says...

I loved this.
No, I freakin' ADORED this.
This little text box cannot hold the amount of feelings you made me feel while I read this.

Democracy! Bah! When I hear that word I reach for my feather Boa!
— Allen Ginsburg