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Young Writers Society



Kartiel's Curse [Chapter 16.2]

by Mageheart


Author's Note: I'm surprised that this chapter turned out the way it did. I did have most of it already planned out, but I was pleasantly surprised at how easily the chapter came together while I was writing. I wouldn't go as far as saying that it's one of my favorites yet, but I definitely did enjoy writing it.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Words: 1,757

Last Line(s): She closed her eyes and thought of Aspen.

And when she opened them, Aspen was looking back at her in the mirror, an enormous grin spreading across her face—the sight made Cass's heart flutter with joy. “Cassie!”

Cass gave her a smile just as large. 

“Hi, Aspen.”

“I was starting to think I wouldn't be able to catch you,” Aspen admitted. Her face took up the majority of the mirror, but Cass could catch a glimpse of the hallway behind her. It was the one that led into the laboratory; she had walked down it enough to recognize its pristine white walls. “I tried calling you when I got up, but I'm guessing you were still sleeping.” 

It had only been a few hours ago, but it felt like the day had begun an eternity ago. So much had happened in the past few hours—in the past day—and Cass realized she didn't even know where to begin. And when she came to that realization, she felt a pang of guilt. She should have thought of calling Aspen sooner this morning. She had let herself get distracted by her dream and conversation with Orpheus. How long had Aspen been trying to talk to her?

“...I'm sorry for not calling you sooner,” Cass apologized.

Aspen dismissed the comment with a wave of her hand. The view in the mirror suddenly shifted a second later as she leaned up against the wall beside her, the backdrop of the mirror now a plain white screen. It made her stand out even more than before. Her familiar smile, the bright twinkle to her eyes, her messy hair—she hadn't realized just how much she missed her best friend until she saw her now. 

“It's alright,” Aspen reassured her. “So, how has the traveling been going-” She paused, narrowing her eyes and peering at the mirror. “Wait, is that a window behind you? I thought you were staying in a tent.”

Cass hesitated. The moment where she had to decide what to say had come sooner than she had expected, and she still didn't know what she was supposed to do. Friends were supposed to tell the truth, but she didn't know if the truth was something she could give. She had to figure out something to say. Aspen was starting to get that concerned look to her eyes again. It was only a matter of time until Aspen asked what was wrong, and then Cass would be forced to face her moral dilemma.

She took a small, hopefully unnoticeable breath.

She would just have to tell some of the truth. She would know the right moment to tell Aspen everything. She was sure of it.

“One of Aldonius's friends found me when I was camping,” she said. She shifted on the bed, laying against the pile of pillows and staring up at the mirror. “He used his magic to bring me to Telorum. I'm...I'm actually in Aldonius's house right now.” 

Aspen's lips parted into another large smile; her face was practically glowing with joy. The sight made the warm feeling in her chest return, but this time it was accompanied by a wrenching feeling in her gut. “Cassie, that's awesome! Have you talked to him about the lockets yet?”

She nodded. “He's going to help me learn how to use them.” 

“He knows how?” Aspen asked, her voice incredulous.

Cass faltered. “Yeah. He, uh...” 

Aspen suddenly looked away from the mirror, her gaze focusing on something Cass couldn't see in her limited view. It sounded like someone was approaching Aspen and the mirror, and Cass wasn't all that surprised when she heard Lira's voice ring out through the mirror. “Are you talking to Cass?”

Aspen nodded. “Want to say hi?” 

She must have answered with a nod, because a second later Aspen had changed her posture once more—now both her and Lira were visible in the mirror. Lira gave her a shy, hesitant wave. Cass was quick in returning in it, remembering how awkward their last meeting had been. Even that felt like an eternity ago, despite having only been a day.

“Cass is already in Telorum,” Aspen proudly informed Lira, turning to the other girl in the mirror. “One of Aldonius's friends ran into her and brought her there, and now she's even staying at Aldonius's place. We'll be home in no time!” 

The moment that she heard that Cass had run into Kartiel, Lira straightened and gained a hopeful glint to her eyes. “That's great,” she said. She hesitated; she was clearly mulling over what she should say next. “Have you asked him about Nebris?”

She shook her head. 

“I'm sorry,” she quietly apologized. Lira's face immediately fell. “Aldonius...Aldonius is busy. He hasn't been around much, so we haven't gotten to talk about Nebris yet. I'll ask the next time I see him.”

“...Thank you,” Lira whispered, ducking her head down. She turned to Aspen. Her voice wavered as she spoke; Cass knew that she had to be on the verge of tears. “...When you're done, I'll be down in the altar room...”

Then Lira was gone, slipping out of the mirror's view and down the hallway with fast, hurried footsteps.

They fell into an awkward silence after she left. Cass wished that she was back in Rey so she could comfort Lira; it was clear that she missed Nebris. From the way Aspen kept glancing away from the mirror, Cass knew that she was thinking the same thing.

“You should go talk to her,” Cass said.

Aspen tore her gaze away from the hallway, a startled look appearing in her eyes as the suggestion registered. “But we have so much to catch up on,” she protested. “I can talk to Lira later, after you tell me all about Aldonius and Telorum.” 

Cass took a deep breath. 

“I think Lira needs you more right now,” she replied, even though Cass desperately wished she could keep talking to her best friend. She pushed herself off of the pillow pile and sat down on the edge of the mattress. “She looked really upset.”

“...I guess you're right.”

“We can talk tonight.” Cass gave her a small, hesitant smile. Aspen was starting to look less resistant to the idea; her posture wasn't as tense as she had been when Cass first mentioned it.“I can tell you about my day, and you can tell me about yours.”

Now it was Aspen who took the deep breath.

“Okay,” she said. “See you later, then?”

Cass nodded. “See you later.”

The image rippled, and then all Cass saw was her own reflection. She stared back at herself, furiously trying to wipe away her tears when she noticed how wet her eyes looked in the mirror. She knew she had made the right choice. Cass wasn't the only person who needed Aspen. Lira did too, especially now.

...But Cass really, really wished Aspen could be here with her.

A tear splattered onto the glass as a sob finally wrenched itself free.

xXx

When she finally stopped crying, Cass tried her best to make it seem like she hadn't just been sobbing. She dried her eyes and face with the corner of her hoodie's sleeves, and moved her bangs ever so slightly so they covered her eyes. A glance in the mirror reassured her that she was ready to leave her room.

She left the mirror on the end of her bed and slipped back out into the hallway. Orpheus still had his door closed. Unsure of what she was supposed to do now, Cass decided that the best option was to wait beside it. She pressed her back up against the stone walls and stared at her own bedroom door, hoping that it wouldn't be long before he emerged. Her gaze eventually dropped down to the floor. Something about the light coming out from under his door didn't look right. There was too much of it for a closed door-

She turned.

His door was still slightly open.

She walked away from the wall and went to close it, wanting to uphold his request. But when she wrapped her hand around the doorknob, she realized that she could hear him talking inside the room. It wasn't a spell—he was having a conversation. But who could he possibly be having a conversation with? She hadn't seen or heard anyone else entering the room.

Her hand lingered on the doorknob.“I'm sorry,” Orpheus said, his voice quiet and hesitant as it trickled out into the hallway. “I can't visit you for awhile. I've just been so busy these past few weeks—I haven't gotten a chance to ask.”

There was a brief pause; the other person had to be speaking.

“I promise I will, though!” he hurriedly added.

Another pause, this time longer than the last. “I can't wait to see you, too.” There was a familiar tone of joy to his voice. She had heard it somewhere before, but she couldn't put her finger on where. It had to have been something she had heard in one of Kartiel's memories, but the memory frustratingly was little more than a feeling of déjà vu. “I have to go now, but you can talk more later.”

The pause that followed was the longest one yet. 

“Goodbye,” he softly said. “I...I miss you too.”

The room and hallways fell into silence.

She waited for him to come to the door, but he never did. She could hear him walking from one side of the room to the other, a mattress creaking as he presumably sat down on it. The silence returned, but it didn't stay for half as long. There was the sound of him shifting on his bed, and then a sob—a short, heartbreaking noise—slipped out through the crack in his door.

She took a deep breath and hesitantly opened the door.

Orpheus was sitting on his bed, legs pulled closed to his chest as he hugged his dragon plush tightly in his arms. His body heaved with quiet sobs, and his hood soon fell off as he continued to tremble. He didn't even seem to notice that she had entered his room. She carefully maneuvered her way through the piles of books that littered his bedroom floor. It was only when she was standing right beside his bed that he finally looked up.

Tears clung to his scales, and his violet eyes were red.

“You weren't supposed to come in,” he said, his voice weak and quiet.

“...I heard you crying,” she replied. “Do you...Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head.

She sat down on the end of the bed. “...Okay.”

He watched her for a moment.

Then he ducked his head back down, the occasional sob leaving him as they sat there in silence.


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Tue Jan 21, 2020 3:34 am
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Lib says...



My prediction was so close omg! ;)




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Thu Mar 07, 2019 10:12 pm
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Panikos wrote a review...



Hiya Mage! Back again to review.

Small Comments

She should have thought of calling Aspen sooner this morning. She had let herself get distracted by her dream and conversation with Orpheus. How long had Aspen been trying to talk to her?


Give yourself a break, kid. I think anyone would be distracted by a literal fallen god giving them a royal palace tour. (Seriously though, I do get her guilt here).

“One of Aldonius's friends found me when I was camping,” she said. She shifted on the bed, laying against the pile of pillows and staring up at the mirror. “He used his magic to bring me to Telorum. I'm...I'm actually in Aldonius's house right now.”


Ahh, this is pretty clever, actually. She's not technically lying. Though I still reckon that Aspen is going to be pretty hurt when she finds out how evasive she's being.

But who could he possibly be having a conversation with? She hadn't seen or heard anyone else entering the room.


Cass...honey...you literally just had a conversation with somebody currently in another kingdom...

Overall Thoughts

This is a rather weepy chapter, isn't it? I think you go a tad overboard with everybody's reactions. Lira gets choked up by the mere mention of Nebris, Cass starts sobbing because she misses Aspen, and then Orpheus is weeping his heart out at the end. Orpheus I think you can get away with, because we don't know what's upset him so much and I get the sense that it's something serious, but the other two reactions feel slightly melodramatic. I could understand Nebris getting quiet, and maybe see Cass fighting back tears or having a small, stress-induced weep, but it feels like a whole lot of sobbing when nothing too serious has happened. This might just be me being cold-hearted, though. :P

Also, gods cry...? I sometimes wonder if you humanise them a little too much. But, again, that's more of a personal preference thing. Taken as it is, I think the scene at the end with Orpheus is really strong - I agree with Blue that I'm glad to see Cass being a bit bolder. My money's on Orpheus missing a relative, personally, but we'll see.

I'm also glad, narrative-wise, that Cass was so evasive - I think it creates much more tension, and I do wonder what's going to happen when Aspen realises she's sort-of lying. I think it's good character development for Cass, as well, because it means she's starting to take responsibility for her own decisions and have her own set of goals independent of Aspen's. Though I'm actually surprised Cass isn't more uneasy about Aspen living under the same roof as Ikach, now she knows he killed the last king. I guess there's no obvious reason for him to harm Aspen, but still - it might add more tension if Cass had more of a reason to fear for Aspen's safety, all while Aspen is worrying about hers.

That's all I've got for this one! I enjoyed this chapter a lot.

Keep writing! :D
~Pan




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Mon Mar 04, 2019 1:11 am
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BluesClues wrote a review...



Cass tried her best to make it seem like she hadn't just been sobbing. She dried her eyes and face with the corner of her hoodie's sleeves, and moved her bangs ever so slightly so they covered her eyes.


Pro-tip: splash your eyes with cold water to reduce the redness and puffiness, dry off, and then practice smiling in the mirror until it looks natural again.

not that I'd know or anything

*squints* Is this another gay ship, or is this Orpheus calling his parents? Or, well, parent, since I think I recall that we know his mom is dead.

...it's probably a gay ship.

I'm glad Cass actually eavesdropped and then opened the door here, despite what Orpheus told her before. She's starting to get a little frustrating as a protagonist because she's such a rule-follower that she does whatever other characters tell her to do, which leads to a lot more sitting and waiting and a lot less sneaking around/overhearing things/exploring than I'd like. On the one hand, I'm torn, because I am myself definitely a rule-follower, so it's nice to see a protagonist who is also one. On the other hand, I'm sadly starting to realize why it may be that protagonists are generally not rule-followers like me.




Mageheart says...


Pro-tip: splash your eyes with cold water to reduce the redness and puffiness, dry off, and then practice smiling in the mirror until it looks natural again.

not that I'd know or anything


I won't lie - I told gave Cass my own strategies, too. :P I think I would have had her do that if she had easy access to water, so maybe I can have her be like "I guess this would work" in future drafts. :P

*squints* Is this another gay ship, or is this Orpheus calling his parents? Or, well, parent since I think I recall that we know his mom is dead.


Actually, his mom is very much alive! You're thinking of his older sister, who would be Kartiel's mom. :) Nice theories, by the way! I love how you automatically assume it's another gay ship. :P

On the other hand, I'm sadly starting to realize why it may be that protagonists are generally not rule-followers like me.


Cass is definitely a learning experience for me, too. :P I think I have to get around her being a goody-two-shoes by having her do accidental rule-breaking and rule-breaking out of neccessity, since she's just too darn nice to do anything else.

Thanks for the review!



BluesClues says...


Dang it, how could I forget that Orpheus is Kartiel's uncle, not the other way around???




A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.
— Honore de Balzac