Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction

E - Everyone

Chapter three (A Lover She Lost)

by MadagascarMaiden

Chapter 3

She woke up confused. She was on a small cot with crisp white sheets surrounded by titanium walls. Where was she? Then, just as she was starting to panic, all the memories of the previous day came rushing back. she looked down at herself. she was still wearing the white robe, and a small band was around her wrist with either a tracking device or a heartbeat sensor. she couldn't tell. Just then the door opened.

“so,” said Dougart, “how are you feeling?”

“Fine I guess,” she replied, “I'm kinda hungry though.” she looked at him, “Why was I in a containment cell anyway?”

“it's a precaution, in case your power flared up or something and you weren't able to control it yet. Trust me, you wouldn't want that to happen. I brought you a new uniform and some food.” he handed her a light green jumpsuit with the SDF logo stitched onto the shoulder. The logo looked like a star with the head of a bird in the center. He also handed her a plate with some bread with butter, root vegetables, and a piece of meat.

he politely left the room to let her change saying that he would come back in half an hour to take her to the girls dorm. she made the bed, slipped the uniform on, and neatly folded the white robe. The food was not the best she had ever eaten but it wasn't bad either.

When Dougart came back he took her to the dorms and showed her her bunk and that her belongings had been stored in one of the many titanium lockers, “why is everything here made out of titanium?” she asked.

“its off the radar,” he replied, “the omishans trackers don't pick it up.” she nodded. “ready to start the day with some tests?” he asked.

“you mean, to see what i can do. right?”

“Yes, you will be put in a room with a glass wall to seperate the monitors and controls. we’ll then throw some situations at you will react to based on your feelings.” he explained, “many of the other trainees explain it like a gut feeling, telling you that you need to reach out with your hand or your mind. just do something out of the ordinary for the situation that you're facing.”

“oh i get it. like if i feel like i should do something weird, just go with it. don't just not do it because it's abnormal.”

“exactly,” he stated, “now if you'll just walk through this entrance.” he gestured to the titanium door.

“dougart, can i ask you a question?”


“have you been enhanced?”

“I have, and I have the power of fire.”

“what does it look like?” he held out his hand and brought it slowly to a fist. it burst into flames making her take a step back. He shook his hand and the fire went out.

“I had to get my sleeves fireproofed because of it.” he laughed, and opened the door. she walked through. the room was pretty bland, there was just what looked like the circular door to a vault on the opposite end. she looked to her right. The wall was entirely made of glass, with monitors, a few scientists and engineers, and Dougart. She heard his voice come in on the loudspeakers.

“Ok, here’s the first situation. You are going to be sprayed with a hose.”

“Seriously?” She looked at Dougart with a hint of disapproval.

“Don't worry, if you are able to control it you wont get wet.” he grinned. She braced herself. All of a sudden, water came spraying out of the center of the circle. It only lasted a few seconds, drenching her in the process. She realized that she had forgotten to do her hair that morning. It was still in soaking little ringlets, sicking to her face. She would have to deal with that later. “Well that didn't go as well as planned.” stated Dougart, taking in her soaking uniform.

“You think?” she glowered at him. All he could do was shrug his shoulders and give her an apologetic look. His look changed in an instant from apology, to amazement. “What's the matter?” she asked, “why are you looking at me like that?” he pointed to her hands.

“I don't think you need to go through any more testing.” she looked down. Her hands were glowing and pulsing with a violet light. She suddenly felt an impulse to hold out her hands as if she were holding a ball. So she did. Almost immediately everything she could see started floating in the air, including dougart and everyone else in the room. She put her hands down, and everything fell to the ground. Including a bubble of water which splashed her as it made contact with the floor. She giggled, dougart had a look of pure bafflement on his face.

“Well that was unexpected.” he stated, brushing his uniform off.

“I guess I can move things with my mind?” she asked.

“It would seem that way.”

“So can I get out of this room and dry off already?”


Viana rubbed her head vigorously with a towel. she had changed into a second uniform which she found in her locker, and had thrown the other one down the titanium laundry chute at one end of the room.

Then, an idea struck her. she held up one hand and, while intensely focusing on it, pulled it away from her face. a small bubble of water formed from the droplets left in her hair, hovering over her hand. she moved it so it hovered over the sink in the corner of the room, and then dropped it. she smiled.

This new power of hers was proving itself to be ever useful.

“Hay Viana.” this strange and sudden voice caused her to jump with surprise.

“Oh, it's just you Aasim.” she retorted “don't startle me like that will you?”

“Sorry.” he replied meekly, “just wondering if you wanted to go on a little ride?”

“Ride?” she was confused, “what do you mean by ride?”

“I mean like riding an animal, there is a spring about two kilometers from here where i usually watch the sunset.” his forest green eyes met her ocean blue ones, “and i was wondering if you would join me?”

“I believe I would enjoy that very much.” she said, a little softer this time. “Though you’ll have to forgive me, I've never ridden anything alive before.”

The animals in the stalls he led her to were more beautiful than anything she could imagine. They were great horse-like beasts with longer, more gentle ears. Their fur varied in the colors of distant galaxies. And from their backs rose enormous birdlike wings which were tethered to their sides.

“Aren't they beautiful?” asked Aasim,

“Oh, they are.” she exclaimed, “but what are they?”

“The natives call them ‘rua-tay mac que-beau’. Which, if you take it literally, means ‘sons of the beautiful night sky’. A much shorter translation is ‘sons of galaxies’ or ‘sons of stars’, but we just call them cosmos for short.”

“They’re perfect.”

Aasim bought two of the animals out of the stalls. “This one’s mine. and the other Dougart hand picked for you.”

“Wait, you mean to be mine?”

“Yup, each member of the SDF gets a cosmo. They are supposed to encourage balance and peace of mind. This helps us better control our abilities.”

The cosmo he had brought to her was made up of colors that reminded one of a supernova, and his was the color of a dying star.

“What are you going to name him?” he asked, cutting into her study of the beast.

“Name?” she asked, “you mean i get to name him?”

“Sure, we all get to name our own cosmo. Mine is named Altair.”

“I'll name him Nova."

Word count: 1,319

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
173 Reviews

Points: 2925
Reviews: 173

Sat Apr 04, 2020 7:25 pm
View Likes
JesseWrites wrote a review...

I like the ending of this chapter. When her hands turned violet. I also liked the beginning. When she got sprayed.

If you look through, you can see some grammar and spelling issues. They are commonly used and easy to find. The sentence flow was better than some others do. It had me very surprised. Overall, I can't wait for the next chapters to come out.

Good job!


User avatar
6 Reviews

Points: 17
Reviews: 6

Sat Apr 04, 2020 12:43 pm
View Likes
WritingIsFun wrote a review...

Wow, you did a great job. You had a few silly mistakes, like spelling, and grammar, but other than that you did very good.

I loved how you started and ended your chapter. You gave the reader a real feel of what was happening. Like when she got sprayed with water and her hands where pulsing violet. I love your chapter and can't wait for you to post the next one. :)

You did better than most of the books I'v read. (with spelling and grammar) you did a great job with writing full sentences and stuff like that. you had a few mistakes that I am sure you will be able to find without much looking.

Overall, you did a great job, and can't wait for your next chapter to come out.


The heavens laugh with you in your jubilee; my heart is at your festival.
— William Shakespeare