Hey there! I like this poem. Although to some it can seem like blaming the victim, I know personally how easy it is to get "addicted" to those negative thoughts, though thankfully I have never taken it that far.
The main suggestion I have, which applies to the entire poem, is to eliminate the "that"s that each second line begins with, then add a comma to the first line. I think it would make the poem a lot more poetic, and it would flow more smoothly.
It would look like this:
"she became so obsessed with the rain,
she started a storm in her eyes
she became so infatuated with the pills,
she choked on them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner."
I would also either put a period at the end of every stanza. Right now, you only have one after "dinner," which makes it stick out and look weird. You could just remove that one, but I think it would be better to but a period after every stanza. That will make the reader pause for a split second, which will allow the meaning of the stanza to sink in more.
The one last thing I would recommend is to make it so you don't need those dashes in there to separate stanzas. YWS formatting is kind of counter-intuitive. What you have to do, if you don't want to make a new stanza, is press "shift+enter" when you make a new line. If you do want to make a new stanza, just press "enter." The lines in stanzas will be grouped together, and you won't have to use the dashes, which are really distracting.
Anyway, great poem! Looking forward to more of you work. Good luck and keep writing!
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