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12+

letting you hear

by LuxLuthor


you say i'm in a cycle

i know that to be true

i have to paint with "new colors"

but they are muddy

~

i'm being "ridiculous"

why can't just i just "talk" to you

take a look at all you've done

how could i trust that?

~

my tongue is dry

is it gone?

i don't have this in me

i cannot speak

~

what do you want from me?

i'm being a "child"

yes.

that is exactly what i am.

~

"get out--" that's what i need to do

"--out of your comfort zone"

i am tired. i can't do that.

not yet. i need time.

~

please don't touch me

your hand is a weight

on my shoulder

i cannot bear it

~

i want to sleep

it's been a hard week

i can't listen right now

"No. you will."

~

you speak

long

slow

loud.

~

i'm not "thinking"

use "logic" 

i was sad for one week

guess i can't do that anymore

~

my "performance doesn't define me"

then why are you doing this

so harshly

i must not cry

~

there is a fire in my eyes

i am angry at this hypocrisy

i was doing fine

then you criticized

~

i have straight A's

i don't smoke or do drugs; not like the others

i am a good kid

not good enough.

~

i can't talk to you

it hurts

"tomorrow? next week? next month?" no.

never.

~

i have so many things i want to say

they don't come out

stuck in my stomach

you are frustrated.

~

your voice pounds

though you don't raise it

i can't hear myself think

it's too loud. 

~

how much longer

will you keep me here?

the tears begin to trickle

then they pour.

~

i'm not responding anymore

my train of thought;

i don't know where it went

i think it crashed.

~

you wave your hands

in exasperation

i yell.

i have never done that before.

~

my voice is a scream

wet. choked out

by the tears

i cannot breathe

~

my head hurts

my stomach churns

i am burning

you are angry.

~

my words bubble out

boiling hot

they also burn

your eyes have fire now, too.

~

my passions

you take

you guilt me

this is not right

~

i want nothing

that is all i ask

i now hurt more than before

are you satisfied?

~

i wrap myself in blankets

where i am safe

i don't want to hear this any more

you rip them away.

~

"fine. sleep"

now i lay awake

crying quietly

i cannot let you hear.


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19 Reviews

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Sun Jan 29, 2023 1:43 am
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GengarIsBestBoy wrote a review...



Howdy hey! I’m here to leave a review.

I assume this poem must be about someone who doesn’t have a good relationship with their parents. Their parents set very high standards (“I have straight a’s / I don’t smoke or do drugs; not like the others”) and yet their child still isn’t meeting these standards. The child is trying to fight back against these high standards, but in the end they just give up.

I personally have a good relationship with my parents, but this really put things into a perspective for someone who’s never experienced things mentioned in the poem. I really love the emotion put into this. I think the formatting actually worked well here.

I really hope you recover from what you’re going through!

—GengarIsBestBoy




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Sun Jan 29, 2023 1:29 am
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Quillfeather wrote a review...



Wow, this. I felt this. I think especially after my parents divorce it's been hard to have a good conversation with my dad. And BOY did you capture this feeling.
So I guess first I'll say, I love the structure, it goes from the starting feelings beginning to grow, to the outburst that led to this argument. I think the flow adds to the raw emotion. When you transition from sort of a sad feeling to complete anger I think you said it p e r f e c t l y

''i'm not responding anymore

my train of thought;

i don't know where it went

i think it crashed.''

Saying it crashed. Wow. It's true, arguments are never led by logical thought, there is no thought anymore, just words you never really wanted to say spilling out before you know what you said. What a beautiful, emotional, poem. It makes me realize and feel so much.
Normally I would suggest grammatical errors, structure, or give some editing tip. But this piece is so raw that I think it would do more harm to edit it to much. Then you begin to loose the meaning. So all I will say is thank you for this


Keep writing!
~quill




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Fri Jan 20, 2023 3:13 pm
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PapaSupremacy wrote a review...



Heyo! PapaSupremacy here for a review!
This poem was AWESOME. I don't have the best relationship with my father, so this poem hit home for me. It seems like a lot of fathers say lots of the same things lol.
Anyway, here are some glows:
I like the stanza set-up you have! It seems like isolated events that keep building and building until it finally bubbles over. The poem is filled with attempted good contacts with your father until the last line:
"I cannot let you hear"
That line basically says "alright Dad, I give up. You wanted me to leave, I'll leave." I like the execution of your story and how it led to that point.
I like the second to last stanza as well, the one where you felt safe and he ripped it away. Thats very symbolic and telling and I loved that!
The simple lines also portray this story well. Its not complex what you're feeling, its just three-five word lines of pain and sorrow.
I don't have any grows for ya :) I liked this a lot! Thanks so much for writing this and I can't wait to read more from you!




LuxLuthor says...


Thanks so much for the review :) Glad you liked it!



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Thu Jan 19, 2023 8:49 pm
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the1anonomous wrote a review...



I didn't think the formatting was weird at all! Actually, I thought it flowed really well.

This poem really spoke to me, especially the lines about not letting him hear you cry. Unfortunately, that is something that I have some experience with. I also loved that you mentioned the hypocrisy that most fights like this have, as I think that that's a very important detail.

Overall, this was a gorgeous and well-written poem, and an amazingly raw depiction of anger mixed with sadness. Thank you so much for sharing!




LuxLuthor says...


Thanks for the review :D glad you liked it!



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Thu Jan 19, 2023 6:33 pm
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LuxLuthor says...



i know the formatting weird and there's like no rhythm whatsoever it was more of a brain barf so eh.





You have light and peace inside you. If you let it out, you can change the world around you.
— Uncle Iroh, Avatar the Last Airbender