z

Young Writers Society



The Giver

by erilea


We read The Giver when we were twelve,
When we saw the world through old TV screens
And newspapers blaring headlines we were too blasé to read.
We had yet to learn about the red in the world,
The swirl of passion that tints your vision
And twists your thoughts into an illusion.
You don't see yourself falling—
You see yourself flying,
Soaring in a sky that’s painted like a sunset,
But hides the inky fabric of space.
Maybe this first splash of color was hiding in our eyes,
Sparking a fiery reminder that the world is not black and white.

Cliché as it was, we grew together,
Sprouted like the first seedlings of spring,
Watered with silent tears and fertilized with what remained of our hearts.
We saw new feelings glisten on leaves like emeralds,
Green coating our lips and hands, this new shade
Giving us a chance to learn how to bloom.
It was not a single flower, a single bush, a single tree
That stood reaching for the sky. It was a garden
That we had cultivated and cared for,
Singing songs to it in our own language of love.

You connected the stars to form our names
And we watched them glitter above us,
Looking down on the earth in a perfect symbol of unity.
We sent shooting stars through each other’s hearts,
Made wishes that couldn’t come true.
Blue used to be my favorite color, but now
When I see it, I can feel the light on my body,
Searing letters into my mind.

Our thoughts were colored purple,
Violet dreams that planted an idea in our heads,
Lavender notions that took root and never let go.
You told me purple was the color of magic,
And I guess we created magic that year,
The miracles of love and heartfelt pleas,
The smoke-and-mirrors of jagged words and disguised meanings.
We wrote a story of our own,
Our intertwined lives spanning monotone pages,
So much like the ones we had read long ago.

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1485 Reviews

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Mon Aug 14, 2017 4:00 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hi there!
I'm not much good when it comes to reviewing poetry, but I'm always looking to learn so going to give this a shot!

We read The Giver when we were thirteen,

When we saw the world through old TV screens

I like the imagery here, but the almost rhyme made by the end of both lines throws the flow off a little, as I was expecting the poetry to be in that form for the rest of the piece. Maybe reorder the first line - At thirteen we read The Giver. I also think the italics make it clearer.

But hides the inky fabric of space.

I don't understand the need for a 'but' here.

An epitome of perfection that is still burned into my memory

I would get rid of 'that is'.

Searing letters into my mind.
This bit lost me a little.

That's all I really have for you here! Occasionally I think some of your lines are too long that they don't seem to fit into the stanza, so that could do with a little work. I like the fact that each stanza seems to have a theme in terms of colour, and how they brighten the lives of your speaker and the one she is talking about. I think the end could be played with a little... especially this section
And I guess we created magic that year,

The miracles of love and heartfelt pleas,

The smoke-and-mirrors of jagged words and disguised meanings.


Hope I've been a little helpful!
Icy.




erilea says...


Thanks for the review! :D



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Thu Aug 03, 2017 11:29 pm
deleted1967 wrote a review...



Dear Lupa22,

Hi, my name is Bailey. May I just say wow. I don't think I understood some of what is going on here, but I think I got most of it out.

This poem is filled with imagery, that all (by the way) sounds to work really well together. The only part that I found to be a little 'off' was the last paragraph, since it isn't as vague and goes right into the colour of things, which isn't exactly what all the other paragraphs seem to do. Though, that could just be your style of writing, which I can understand.

I really enjoyed your diction, though. How you used, in which I would make up some quotes for examples, but there are so many quotes from this poem I could use, I might as well just leave it alone. I loved the way you made some of the lines though, especially the 2nd paragraph (or stanza, whichever the proper term is). Just that paragraph in general was astounding.

This poem is one of many that I enjoy reading, because the message is very vague, I find. It doesn't just outright say exactly what the message is.

Though, I'm not exactly sure what the message is...

It talks about how you know that the world really isn't black and white, like it is seen in The Giver by Lois Lowry, with the colours that absorb the world, like red and blue and purple. This poem talks a lot about the colours, and I wonder if you're trying to get across that the world is almost living in a haze?

I don't know. These are my thoughts on the message behind the poem. Since you said "you don't see yourself falling; you see yourself flying," are you almost trying to say that society has made us portray the world in "black and white," that it disguises our fall as our flight? Our doom as our victory? I can understand the poem somewhat, and these are my insights. Some of the lines I just wasn't quite able to make out, though nonetheless, I love it!

Please tell me what you meant for the message to be! I'd love to hear it!

Have a great day/night! (whichever applies to you)

Sincerely, Bailey Matwiiw




erilea says...


Hey, Bailey! Thanks for reviewing my work! Yeah, I know the last stanza was a little off. I'll try to fix that. :D
This poem is in the romance category, so this was originally supposed to be about how a girl and a boy learned how to see the world in a different perspective (i.e. different colors) by falling in love. But your interpretation of it is interesting! Make of it what you wish.
Thanks again!



deleted1967 says...


Ooh, I didn't actually think of that. All in all, brilliant poem!



erilea says...


Thank you!




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