I love how playful and silly this Act is. Obviously with such a silly idea you could've went crazy with it and made the story nonsensical but you still kept it grounded by how the characters act. I love how skeptical and judgmental Jennifer is it helps bring the interesting idea of penguins flying to life by having this character completely deny and try to disprove it since realistically it's an idea that's very far from being true. I also like the way you set up the rest of the story by having Jill complain about her parents and how they banned books to bring in that part of the story. It makes us readers wonder more about the parents and what they're going to do about these kids claiming they're seeing penguins flying in the sky. You did a really good job on the humor too, you were able to keep it playful and silly while having the Jennifer poke fun at Jill which was really nice. Cant wait to read more!
Wow! This story literally made me laugh on the inside throughout nearly the whole act. If I was able to, I'd make this an actual play. It would make a work of art. I would love to see more acts like this. The grammar's mostly great. The humor is childish, which is a great detail aimed for younger audiences. Overall, this piece is fantastic, in a comedy way.
So first off your very funny, and imaginative. I like how you made this scene, and it was very whimsical. I believe that my favorite part is when she asks her to stop laughing. I don't know why but I chuckled out loud at that part. this is a very short scene, which is good for story set up! I believe that this could be a full out play, and since it's getting colder outside a very good one for around the Christmas season. (Although Mr. Claus lives in the opposite pole). The one thing that was not mentioned in the previous was, "Anyways, I realized they were penguins." I just feel as if it'd read better if it said, "Anyways, I realized that they were penguins." But besides that this was very well written and very heart warming. I absolutely loved this, and believe that if it were s full story I would spend time reading this to my four year old brother who would find this, possibly, more humorous than myself. Anyway keep writing this is very good!
EverLight here with a review! This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned you may feel offended anyway. First ImpressionTo borrow from Raelyn-Bahahahahahah!!! *rolls on to floor* this dramatic? This is the funniest thing I've read all day!!! Nitpicks Okay to begain with this sentence could have been written differently-
You coulda come up with something more funny, ya know.
you coulda' come up with something funnier, ya know
111,218 Literary Works • 595,863 Reviews