This is the next section of Callista and the Minotaur. Part one is posted here post921527.html#p921527
There is still a part three to come, but i wanted this section to be on its own.
“Callista, you have to leave.”
She knew he was right. A man who was half-bull could survive quite comfortably in the Labyrinth, but Callie could not. On top of that, Ariadne has yet to make an appearance, though it past time for Theseus to be sent in, and the Minotaur didn’t the romance going on in the outside world was good news.
“Come with me.”
“You know I can’t. My sister is the only one who can get past the guards, and she won’t help.”
“You’re scared.”
“That’s not fair.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“I just don’t want to lose you.”
She climbed into his lap and he put his arms around her. They wanted to stay like that forever, but time was running out.
“I love you. I want you to be sure of that.” He told her. “But I can’t let you waste your life down here with me.”
Abruptly he picked her up and started marching through the catacombs.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m taking you to the entrance. I do know where it is, even if I can’t use it.”
“I’ll just come back!” She threatened. She struggled against him, but he was more powerful than her, even if she had been at full strength.
“Then I’ll give you directly to whoever’s out there, and tell them I don’t want you. I won’t let you destroy yourself for my sake.”
“Why are you acting like this? Put me down!” He wasn’t listening. This was hard enough for him without hearing her cries. “Let me go!”
He might have complied eventually. If Theseus hadn’t come then, he might have caught the lovers embracing. Instead he saw a maiden being carried off by the monster he was expecting.
He just couldn’t understand why she only started screaming after he’d rescued her.
~~~
Theseus almost left her behind. She had utterly spoiled his victory, and they needed to get away before Minos was told what had happened. She sprung back to life, however, when she saw the figure standing on the deck of the ship.
“You!” she cried, advancing towards the other girl. “You gave Theseus the sword! You gave him a sword and you sent him in to kill your own brother.”
Ariadne just stared at the sea. She was only now beginning to see the horror of what she’d been complicit to.
“I didn’t think it would matter.” She barely flinched when Callie slapped her. “I thought I’d be doing him a favour, putting him out of his misery. I didn’t know he had someone who didn’t see him as a monster.”
Callie wasn’t sympathetic. It didn’t make her feel better that someone else was crying.
“I’m sorry,” sobbed the princess. “I just wanted to keep Theseus. I’m so, so sorry.”
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,007 Literary Works • 672,819 Reviews
Beautiful writing my dear. I loved it yet again. Such a contrast from the last but it makes you fall in love with the characters that much more. I can't wait to read the next. Wonderful job and keep writing.
Thank you! Sorry about the missing word, i'm glad you caught that. Honestly, my ability to self edit leaves much to be desired, but the is ridiculous.
Hi
Alright I loved both parts of this story and think that it is an excellent take on the classic fairytale of Beauty and the Beast.
There didn't seem to be much wrong with it but one sentence reads 'I won’t let destroy yourself for my sake.”'
I think this should be I won't let you . . . rather than the way it is now. Other than that it was brilliant
- apple96
Ohh yeah that line does have a major typo. I will fix that immediatly and hopefully get around to proofing more thouroughly. As long as everything else makes sense. Thank you for your encouragement and for catching my mistake!
Wow, this is a much more depressing piece of literature. Very much in contrast to the last part. I like it because of that. It definitely does leave me wondering how you'll write a third part, which is a very good thing, because you got me, the reader, interested. There are a few gramattical errors, but I don't have enough time to give them to you, but I have to ask, was the second to last line supposed to read "It didn’t make her feel better that she was the only one crying."? It confuses me. If you made that more clear, that would greatly improve the mysterious nature of your ending. But overall, I really love this! Such an interesting mix of a common fairy tale with a lesser known Greek myth. Thanks for writing it!