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My Happy Mask

by LakeOfCancer

-My Happy Mask-

My smile hides my tears.

My laugh hides my screams.

It's been this way for years.

Things aren't as they seem.

I always seem so happy.

With not a care in the world.

But you should know sadly,

Many things go untold.

Nobody really knows me.

They only know my cover.

But I wish I could set it free.

Let them know what's under.

But instead I practice,

My smiles in the mirror.

Then the next thing I do is

Make my fake laugh clearer.

What is wrong? You need help?

Is all they will ask.

So I have decided

To live behind a happy mask...

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61 Reviews

Points: 983
Reviews: 61

Fri Jan 12, 2018 8:56 pm
StuckOnEarth wrote a review...

Hi! Space here for a review.

Let's start with why I clicked on it. The concept of masks is something that I generally mention when writing about things like sadness and depression, I find it a great metaphor when you try to hide your true feelings in order to either push others away or make yourself happy. There is a big difference between a smile on a mask and a true smile.

It is a very heart-felt poem, with a very sad topic that is unfortunately referenced in a lot poems and stories because these kinds of things affect a lot of people. I personally know how this feels, and I can say you conveyed it in a very realistic way that people like me can relate to.

I kind of expected the topic, or whatever I was going to read, so maybe make it deeper, with a few added things like twists, examples and explaining why you/the protagonist feels like this. Maybe make the rhymes a bit more even so it rolls off the tongue easily.

Other then those few recommendations, I found this to be a very nice poem, with a deep meaning that touched my heart and possibly others because of the somewhat dark meaning that you could clearly see through the way you described it.

Great job!

-Space the Snickerdoodle

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31 Reviews

Points: 48
Reviews: 31

Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:23 am
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DeathBecomesHer wrote a review...

this reminds me of that animation of the glass boy and his mask. Throughout the video, things happen but the mask is there so it seems fine. at the end though, he takes it off and reveals his face is shattered underneath. Lots of people feel this, fake smile, fake laugh, hiding behind the mask. I relate to this and I think this is very well done. you really are good at conveying emotion to the reader and I applaud you for that. keep writing my dude

LakeOfCancer says...

thank you!:)

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15 Reviews

Points: 1620
Reviews: 15

Fri Jan 12, 2018 12:40 am

I love this! I often feel like I am putting on a fake image to avoid confrontation of my problems too.

LakeOfCancer says...

exactly!:) Good to know you understand

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745 Reviews

Points: 1626
Reviews: 745

Thu Jan 11, 2018 9:29 pm
Lumi wrote a review...

Hi there! A very short review here for a piece with simple flaws that can be made wonderful with a bit of TLC. Let's talk about it.

So the main gripe I have here is that there's no congealed narrative that evokes the imagery of this poem--instead we receive some vague details about how the narrator feels and some personal notes about what they go through. What I'd rather see is less navel gazing and more through the eyes of the narrator. After all, showing is greater than telling, and it's an adage that shouldn't be forgotten.

Your concept is solid here, albeit a bit contrived, but if you were to pull off proper execution, I think you'd have a glowing piece of poetry on your hands. So ask yourself these questions when revising:

1. Have I shown the reader what the narrator has gone through to evoke emotion?
2. Have I read the poem aloud to match my breathing so the flow is smooth?
3. Is there enough material to evoke emotion / too much material to bury emotion?
4. How do I demonstrate each facet of my 'fake self' mentioned in the piece?

If you can address these questions and issues, I'm certain you'll be highly pleased with the outcome.

All the best,

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48 Reviews

Points: 174
Reviews: 48

Thu Jan 11, 2018 6:26 pm
CocoaCat says...

Wow, this is great! I love it!

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102 Reviews

Points: 6553
Reviews: 102

Thu Jan 11, 2018 6:09 pm
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KatjaDawn wrote a review...

Lake, I love your newest poem. You have a real talent for putting your emotions into poetry. I have no suggestions, as truly you seem to have this down. Your message seems to be that you are constantly under the struggle of hiding your true (unhappy/depressed) self from others, instead choosing to wear a "Happy Mask".

What is wrong? You need help?

Is all they will ask.

So I have decided

To live behind a happy mask...

This also seems to suggest that you don't want to open up when people question what's under your "Happy Mask", that you choose to remain beneath it. This is more so me reaching out than critiquing, but opening up is the best and most rewarding thing you can do. Bottling up your emotions can become very unhealthy. Healthy expression (such as your poetry, for one) is a good way to get all those emotions out. But at some point, you may find that talking to another person, face to face (someone you trust, such as a parent, relative, counselor, teacher, etc.), can really help relieve the pressure. It's a difficult thing to hold back emotions and fake your happiness. As someone who shares in such dilemmas, just know that it gets easier :)

And just saying, your poetry skills are amazing, especially the way you very (seemingly) easily write your feelings/emotions into them. I can see you improving with each poem. I hope to see more poetry of yours soon!

Keep writing,


LakeOfCancer says...

thanks, but, i'm naturally isolated away from people, when i do open up to people about what i wrote in this poem, i fear they'll tell a counselor, that they will tell my mom, my mom honestly could care less about my depressed emotions. The only reason i wrote this poem here was because i trust you all, i consider you guys my second family. but thank you, i keep trying to find good words to rhyme with, and those questions in the last stanza, people actually ask me that. thanks for the review katja, i appreciate it!XD

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12 Reviews

Points: 396
Reviews: 12

Thu Jan 11, 2018 3:39 pm
jemming17 says...

I wrote something like this at one point, and I now things get hard. But thinking through positive thoughts helps a lot.

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29 Reviews

Points: 0
Reviews: 29

Thu Jan 11, 2018 2:32 pm
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lemonboi says...

Hey, Lake! I know what you mean, I think about this everyday after any social interaction hehe... But this reminded me of a song: :smt003 hope you like it!

LakeOfCancer says...

thanks bud, I'll be sure to listen to it after school, I'm literally in class right now, learning math!XD I hate math!

lemonboi says...

lol same! but people keep telling me i'm super GOOD at it ahhhhh

LakeOfCancer says...

this song was amazing! thank you for putting that link there, i know why it reminded you of this now!XD

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58 Reviews

Points: 199
Reviews: 58

Thu Jan 11, 2018 1:36 pm
IzzyIsHappy says...

I love it! I can totally relate.

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125 Reviews

Points: 3456
Reviews: 125

Thu Jan 11, 2018 1:30 pm
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LakeOfCancer says...

I know that I seem the best possible person to you guys, but...not exactly.

@Flumadiddle @RavenLord @snowmonkey9 @emolemon (emocinnafriutbun XD) @Rydia @Lumi @WhosabellCanWrite @woahhitherepal @KatieC @LKSpinoza @Iggy @EternalRain @Omnom @MJTucker @sheytato @nickelgotyourback @saentiel @Helena13 @VegasLights @KatjaDawn @TheBlueCat @AnneTaylor @CocoaCat @Danni88 @jemming17 @Begstita1 @SqueakieSilverShadow

Hope you guys don't put pity on me for it...

lemonboi says...

yes! that is my dream user name! WHY THE GLAZE DID I NOT USE THAT?!

Memories, left untranslated, can be disowned; memories untranslatable can become someone else’s story.
— YiYun Li