It's good to see she's returned to her rebelliousness. Night Mistress already picked up on the Rio thing, so I'll just go through the rest.
“Hey, Kids how was the Concert?”
You don't need the comma here, and kids and concert don't need capitals.
she look’s exhausted.
Should just be looks.
Absently I wondered where the brother’s were
Take the apostrophe out of 'brother's'
my questions was answered
Should be 'my questions were answered
forcing his to crouch to that we could be eye to eye.
forcing him to crouch so that we could be eye to eye.
“We…the brothers and I
He would refer to them as 'my' brothers not 'the' brothers.
acting as spokes person
Spokesperson is one word.
Thee super big bags of pads
Three, not Thee.
girl can never be too prepared
Should be a girl.
earth shattering affects
Should be effects.
Poor Kid
Kid doesn't need a capital.
I recognized the turn
Should be tune.
I knew the drumsticks feel
Should be fell.
My shoulders jerked with the dawn fall, on their own accord.
I think you mean down fall, and you don't need a comma here.
I was use to that.
Should be 'used to'.
I leaned back on my heals
Heels, not heals.
I motions for Sabe
Should be motioned.
I was sure that if I feel anymore
Fell, not feel.
all of ours where
Should be were.
-Billy
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Reviews: 41
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