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I Will Find You by Moonlight: Chapter Two

by Kay Kay

Chapter Two:

My lavender dress swished as I danced on the ballroom floor of the Leroux Manor. I had been dancing with Jonathon for the past three songs. Even, though, I was weary from dancing for so long, I kept dancing for the reason that anything was better than being next to James, who was standing alone in one corner, watching with a sappy grin on his face.

I was on the verge of excusing myself to go to the ladies room just to get off my feet when out of the blue, there was Matthew…and he was coming towards us. Surprise…surprise.

Dressed in the clothes he had been wearing when he had met only hours earlier, he looked to die for. I wondered if he looked good in anything but blue. Hey that would give me an excuse to see him again!

Moments later, he approached us asking, “May I cut in?”

“Why, Matthew, what are you doing out here?” my future father in-law asked; he was very startled by him asking a question such as this.

“I became uninterested in my studies, and decided to further my discussion with Miss Pendleton.”

“Do you mind, Mary Jane?”

I shook my head in response, sending my blond curls in all directions. Silently, I said, “Thank you, God.”

James’s father took a step back and bowed. “Thank you many times for allowing me to acquire a dance.”

“It was enjoyable, Mister Leroux,” I lied; giving him my fakest smile that he thought was true.

I never wanted to be touched by another Leroux for as long as I lived.

Matthew took my hand in his as the music sped up to a faster song. We began to dance with smiles on our faces. Having him touch me made my heart pace fast and slow at the same time…I liked the feeling. In fact, my feet no longer hurt, nor was I weary. It was as though his presence gave me the energy I needed.

“You are not from around here are you?” I already knew the answer. For when I told him who I was he didn’t mention my being rich.

“No, I am staying a season here with my uncle and his family,” he explained to me. I liked the way he talked, his accent. “I live on the other side of the island with my parents. I will be returning tonight.”

“That is why I have never seen you…I do not spend much time on the other side. My parents will not allow for me to travel without them.”

He nodded in what seemed to be an understanding. Then, smiling, he asked, “Would it be too bold to ask of your years?”

“No…I am eighteen. And you?”

For some unknown reason he smiled even more. What was going on in that head of his? Is he realizing that I am of the proper marriage age or something? I could not decide what it could be.

As another song began to play, as he answered, “Twenty one.” Paused. “Your betroth, you do not like him much do you?”

“Why do you ask, Mister Bromley?”

“Well, you seem to have no intention on spending time with him.”

“No offence but your cousin acts like a female.”

Matthew chuckled at this, then, agreed, saying, “True, he does remind me of my younger sister.”

“Just do not tell anyone I said that okay.”

“I will take it to the grave. What did you say when he became your fiancé?”

“I told my mother that I hoped he died before then,” I informed him as a matter of fact. We began to laugh.

“What was her reaction?”

“She agreed.”

More laughter. I could not help what I asked him next. “Do you have a betroth?”

This seemed to startle him a bit. At first he hesitated, but said, “No, my family is not of noblemen or anything.”

“I am sorry for bringing it up.”

“You could not have known. Besides, it does not offend me.”

Suddenly, I heard my father’s voice asking, “May I cut in?”

“Oh, Matthew, this is my father, Jacob Pendleton.” I stated, “Daddy, this is Matthew Bromley.”

“Very nice to meet you,” my father mumbled, pulling me away. He danced me away from him, who stood there watching me. I never took my eyes off him either; at least not until my parents had moved to another room.

* * *

“Well, if you will excuse me for a moment. I have to take care of some business, but I will return within minutes,” James told Matthew and myself. The two of us watched as he walked out of the room, then, looked at each other.

My parents and James’s had left the room to talk about some things that needed to be addressed. I knew what those things were, and so did my fiancé. I knew that he was going to spy on them. I could tell, for I was once just like that and had done just the same earlier in the evening.

“Well, Mary Jane…is it alright if I address you by your first name?” the man sitting next to me asked, sitting very close.

“Yes, continue,” I replied, eager to know what it was he was going to say before remembering that he had not asked to address me by my name.

“I was going to say, it looks as though we are alone….”

“What are you trying to say?”

What is going on in that head of his? I wondered this once again. And why was he smiling like that?

“I am saying that if there is anything you want to tell me privately…well, this would be the perfect time to do so,” Matthew answered, smiling. I watched out of the corner of my eye as his right hand began to slide across the satin covered couch in my direction. Could it be that he was falling for me? I slowly edged away from this man that I did not know.

“Would you like want to accompany me for a walk in the moonlight before I set off?”

“No, thank you. I am rather exhausted from a night of dancing.”

“Oh, alright. It was nice to make your acquaintance. Well, good night.”

“The pleasure is all mine. Night.”

I watched as he exited the ballroom and disappeared out of sight. Subsequently, I let out a sigh of relief, lying down on the satin covered couch. I was finally alone to think.

There had to be some way to get out of being betrothed to James Leroux, but how? Could I seriously get him killed? Was I bold enough to do something such as that? Probably not. I would feel to guilty. Maybe I could run off with someone? Perhaps Matthew Bromley.

That thought caused a laugh to escape from my mouth. Me marry him? Ha! Maybe if I ran I could still catch him before he makes his journey back. I would rather rot. Besides I am not dim witted enough to let myself become in danger like that. That would be like making an appointment with the gallows. I am not very fond of the noose.

“A walk in the moonlight does sound like a good plan,” I said aloud to myself. “Maybe there I can think of a way to do away with Sir James. Sir James? Ha!”

Now, that I thought about it a walk in the moonlight did sound soothing. It sounded like just what I needed to relieve the stress of the whole I am marrying a stranger for fondness thing.

Moments later, I was walking through the Leroux garden area. It was nice with flowers and their lovely scents. Then the fact that the moonlight was spilling over me was wonderful. I selected a single red rose from the many bushes and brought it to my nose, thinking about the love I could have if I ended my engagement with the feminine male.

While thinking this, my thoughts began to drift to thoughts of the only man I had ever loved. Jack Lafayette. Jack Lafayette lives with his parents, Susannah and Jessie in the Lafayette Manor. It is on the other side of the island where Matthew exclaimed he lived.

I was fifteen when my parents had taken me to the other side for a few weeks for some important meeting my father had to attend. We were staying at their manor because there wasn’t an inn available. They had been nice enough to take us in. During that time I had gotten to know Jack. We started out as just friends but became even more by the second week of our stay. I was sad to leave him after we had experienced a night to remember. I can remember our departure like it had happened yesterday:

“I shall never forget you, Jack,” I said.

“I hope not,” he exclaimed. “I hope that last night will make you remember me for the rest of your life.”

A few months after the incident in his bedroom, I found that I was pregnant when I got the case of morning sickness. At first my parents just assumed that I had come down with some illness that was going around the island, but when Father called in a doctor to see what was wrong, we found out otherwise. My parents were infuriated. Oh gosh let me tell you. First, they would not let me leave the house until the baby was born. The baby was sent to live with the Lafayette family by the way. Then, I was not allowed to go anywhere without them or talk to anyone that they were not socializing with until I turned eighteen. It was, as if I had to grow up in order to be able to live. I learned my lesson not knowing that things were about to get worse. Right before my nineteenth birthday I find that I am to be married to James Leroux. Talk about a slap in the face. And even worse, he reminds me of a woman. I hate my life. Sometimes I just wish that I could trade my life in for someone else’s; maybe then I could be happy.

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55 Reviews

Points: 1078
Reviews: 55

Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:58 pm
SuzieCake wrote a review...

This was good, but again, I think it would be best if we not talk about the feelings we have for Matthew just yet. Maybe if we make him a little arrogant and not-so-likeable to begin with? All of this seems to be moving just a little fast and it's almost hard for me to keep up.

Also, I was thinking that maybe you should go into more detail with her child and Mr. Layfayette. That seems a little interesting, but it's lacking some of the detail that it needs. Maybe you could tell about how she thought she liked Mr. Layfayette and was being a "foolish child."

Again, all of this is a little too fast without enough descriptive detail in my opinion, and I would like to know more about most of the things going on. I feel like we've skipped a few chapters so I'm having to back-track so I can make sure I catch on.

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3747 Reviews

Points: 2312
Reviews: 3747

Sun Aug 28, 2005 7:12 am
Snoink wrote a review...

I'M BACK! *giggles madly*

First of all, before I begin, I have a confession to make. I am a perfectionist in all the wrong places. I remember writing dozens and dozens of exciting introductions for dozens of my story. The perfect introduction, I decided, had to be exciting and quick-paced. Unfortunately, like I said, I am a perfectionist at all the wrong places. So while I would make a great introduction, my plot would sag in really quickly within the next chapter.

Fortunately, for you, you're not as bad as me then.

The biggest problem I see with this is the overall lack of description. I want to know how hot he is. That is, I have a picture in my mind who he is, but I want to know more! I'm greedy for any details about Matthew... the irresistable hunk. I want to know more about him! What are his manners like? What does he look like? Is he proper? How does he differ from the other folk? What does our leading lady think about him as she gets to know him better? :) I love characters, almost to an eerie extent, and this character is particularly intriguing. I want to know as much about him as I can.

So describe him and don't hold back! You have a fresh, interesting character, and it's no use to hide him from the world. Flaunt it, baby!

And don't forget to describe everything else. Right now, your story show a lot of promise. With more description, your story will show A LOT of promise. Hopefully, by that time I'll have my publishing business started up. ;)

And... then there was one more problem, this one being a little more irritating. I love how you introduce your leading lady. Mary Jane is vivacious, smart, and positively charming. I connected with her instantly and I want to see how she gets to be with Matthew.

Now, and perhaps I am wrong, but the last part seems out of place with her character as a whole, almost as if you wanted us to feel more for the character and decided to pull a twist on it by making her once pregnant. But you don't have to do that. I love her already, without the extra plotline. The extra plotline seems to weigh the story down of its light-hearted pace and seems to make it a lot heavier than it needs to be. If Mary Jane would like it, then it would be forgivable, but the character seems forced, so she's giving you a hard time about it.

Characters are real people! The more you force them into a situation they hate, the more they're going to fight back. And their methods? Sucky dialogue, awkward moments, and bad plot twists. Their worst weapon? Writer's block. Never force the character. So what do you do? Listen to your character. Does she seem to be the kind of lady who would have been forced to give her baby and then to marry this guy? I don't think so... she's too smart and stubborn. In a good way, mind you. A good way.

So, and I know you're going to hate me for suggesting this, but I would scrap the plotline. I know it's hard. I've been through a story where I had a male character who literally changed the life of a female character, but finally I had to scrap him just because it wasn't working. Plus I had writer's block. Almost at once, the block went away, and I've been working on the story ever since.

Hope this helps!

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221 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 221

Mon Jul 25, 2005 6:41 pm
Kay Kay says...

I see what you mean. Well in this part I was trying to discribe the love she had for Jack and how because of what happened the consequences that made her life miserable. Thanx for critting!

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1258 Reviews

Points: 6090
Reviews: 1258

Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:42 am
Sam wrote a review...

'“May I cut in?” '

They apparently really like to say that...:P

There's also a point at which someone says 'OK'- not okay.

The last paragraph was pretty awkward. Go over it some, and it'll be fine...I mean, it's a huge deal, treat it as such!

Ooh, this is good. Rock on, Kay Kay!

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
— Arthur O'Shaughnessy