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by Katnes

Why is everyone so obsessed with love?

why do they let there hearts break over and over again?

I know what they say grow up you little Violet Incredible the modern world is obsessed with this

learn already

I will never learn, I will never care.

Deep down I have only coldness for the idea.

Maybe I don't know what it is like to be obsessed with another person

to the point of madness

Call me Violet Incredible all you care,

I have learned enough from a secret life

Things you can only dream of.

I am aware this world isn't giving up until I answer loves call

and fall on my knees in pain.

Why do I even care?

I am sick of failed love 

all that work and emotion for nothing it's like a rose 

pretty but with thorns.

Until that depressing day when I find my one true love I will forever stand against crushes. 

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613 Reviews

Points: 10450
Reviews: 613

Sun Jul 01, 2018 1:13 am
Messenger wrote a review...

Hi, here for a quick review. Couple quick thoughts.

1. So this isn't from Violet's viewpoint, but you seem to make the connection that she and you are similar in your thought, process. But I personally don't get the connection on where Violet has had this outlook on love. I mean sure, she got stood up cuz the kid got his memory wiped, but she more hates on the idea of being a superhero it seemed to me.

2. The way you have the lines centered (can't remember the correct term) is alright, but with the disparity between long and short lines, it can be hard to read it with a flow when your eyes go from right to left to middle to left to right yknow? IT's up to you if you want to change it, but I think aligning it to the left would do no harm.

3. It's well-written. Their's definitely a lot of passion in this piece. It feels very heartfelt and raw. Nothing held back. I like that a lot. Poetry can have a knack for just diving straight to core feelings and emotions in ways that other forms of writing, essays and novels for instance, have to take longer and be more nuanced about.

4. You have an interesting take on love, I'm not going to lie. I think of lot of this comes from the "love" that movies and songs push about this touchy-feely happy infatuation instead of true sacrificial love, and so in some ways I understand the frustration in this poem,, although, I found it in some ways sad that Violet, or you I guess, in the end seem to succumb to the idea that eventually you'll love. At the same time I'm in a relationship so I can't necessarily agree personlly with everything in this poem :P xD

Overall it's a well-written piece that feels genuine and polished. Keep writing.

Katnes says...

I'm sure it does. I just felt like using Violet in this piece that's all. I don't mind if you disagree with that. I understand why being in a relashionship would change your view point. No hard feelings.
But the thing is I know that some day I'll love so I can't change that so as much as I hate it I won't resist. I'll prepare myself for that day. I was just frustaraited that that's all people thing we teenagers do-love have girl friends and boyfriends and what not. Thanks for your review

Katnes says...

As for Violet-I just needed someone to compare myself to so I chose Violet, because I had recently seen Incredibles 2, and she seemed like me alot.

Katnes says...

in other words I am like her, so I decided Brainwashed or not I'll use her, to compare me to.

Messenger says...

Hahaha i got you. I loved that movie!

Katnes says...

First or secant one? Obviously I know you most likly mean the secant but just checking.

Messenger says...

Well i love both xD but second in this instance.

User avatar
13 Reviews

Points: 900
Reviews: 13

Fri Jun 29, 2018 12:58 am
Battlestar wrote a review...

Your poem is interesting, and I like how you wrote from the perspective of Violet Incredible (the new movie was fun)! I think many people would find your poem relatable, myself included :).

If you want, I just have a few small comments.

"why do they let there hearts break over and over again?" (line 2)

Since your last line ended with a question mark, I think this line could be capitalized. Also, I think you meant "their hearts" when you wrote "there hearts." (Their is a possessive pronoun whereas there is an adverb.)

"I know what they say grow up you little Violet Incredible the modern world is obsessed with this / learn already" (lines 3 - 4)

I had to read these lines a few times to make sense of them. Maybe you could say something like

"I know what they say: 'Grow up, you little Violet Incredible, the modern world is obsessed with this. / Learn already!' "

It would be helpful if you made it more clear that they are addressing her since writing it as one long sentence might be a little confusing to some people.

"I am aware this world isn't giving up until I answer loves call" (line 12)

I think you meant "love's call" possessive? Sorry if this was just a typo - I'm kind of a stickler!

"Until that depressing day when I find my one true love I will forever stand against crushes." (line 18)

It might be better if you split this up into two lines (like, "Until that depressing day when I find my one true love / I will forever stand against crushes"). Otherwise, you could separate the dependent and independent clauses with a comma ("Until that depressing day when I find my one true love, I will forever stand against crushes").

I enjoyed reading this poem! Let me know if anything I said here wasn't clear enough. Of course, this is your poem, so you should do whatever you want with it!

Katnes says...

Thanks for your review however I didn't write it from Violet's prospective, I wrote it from my own, though she was the inspiration. ): Movie geek!

Battlestar says...

Oh, ok! Cool - sorry I didn't understand that part the first time, but now it makes sense.

Katnes says...


"The bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings. It is a sad spectacle to see the weaklings bruised, exhausted, fluttering back to earth."
— Kate Chopin, The Awakening