WOOOO WIRING IS DAMADGE MRS KANE LETS GET OUR ESCAPE ON.
ahem, Andrew here with a review. Excited to see some advancement, maybe this means out party will actual /eyes/ get out soon. This chapter doesn't feel too clunky nor to rushed so that's nice.
But into specifics!
"I didn't just say that," replied Harry, looking the picture of innocence.
Aria let out her trademark sigh and rolled her eyes as the other two broke into laughter.
I'd say my favourite part about the story is the characters, but the characters biggest problem is at moments they can appear very flat. Like here, they seem like they are cartoon characters of people, harry is *always* making jokes, aria is *always* annoyed at him, daisy is *always* laughing etc. I'd like to see some more complexity and depth with our lovable crew
That day they'd been given a note instructing a few parts of the flight control systems be dropped off at different locations to the incinerator and so they found themselves running all across camp and they hardly noticed the time passing till the lights went off abruptly, signalling the end of their shift.
Run-on sentence vibes here, hard to track. I'd advise splitting into pieces.
But that's just my two cents, as always (; hope it helped
Hopeful of seeing some real escaping soon.
Thanks, and keep writing, Andrew
Points: 34
Reviews: 178
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