Hi Harry,
Mailice here with a short review!
So, we have reached the new chapter and I am here to give my comment.
We have never seen Harry so thoughtful as in these two parts. That's not a big surprise after it's been foreshadowed for so long in the last parts, and I have the impression that you've also created a good basic approach to portraying these thoughts of his. At least as a first point, I think it's good that you showed that.
Since we only know Harry as a vivacious, humorous character who kind of loves adventure, I have to admit to being worried myself now because he's thinking about it for so long. That's also one of those points where I think a little more would have been better here. After all, you're working with a character here who I think is the main character and you can take the opportunity here to use that change and that self-reflection to maybe bring about a small (and brief) change. Because I think on the change from Part 1 to Part 2 it's very repetitive and it also goes straight on to the mother.
I don't mean to say that the part there isn't that good, because I liked it, but you're really just taking the lid off the can here, and not going deeper. That's what I expected, that it would be focused on a bit more in the next part.
Otherwise, I liked the part. He had a very serious voice and with the title of the chapter I also think there is something threatening hidden there.
Other points I noticed while reading:
Unlike the day before, Harry wasn't quite as at peace with the idea, mostly because of the excitement that had taken him over at the news that was to be delivered today.
I would insert a full stop here after the "wasn't quite as at peace with the idea", because then you give the reader a break before you give an explanation. This way you give the "solution" in one go, like a teacher who asks a question and answers it immediately.
No, the truth might be the only way. Why did this have to become so hard all of a sudden?
Your ending with the train of thought is a good approach to portraying his inner world, and you manage to give a great portrayal yourself with the concluding sentence. It shows a bit more that Harry is a child or a teenager.
Have fun writing!
Mailice
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