Young Writers Society

Well harrrrryyy andrew's back. Sorry for the drought of reviews, got sick, had thanksgiving, had to work on ghost walk stuff, and fell in love. It's been a month, to say the least, but I'm back up and running again!
These two sections have defiantly been interesting. I'd say the one before this may have spent to much energy building up to the jump... when it was just a guy kicking something, but I didn't mind it too bad, so idk.
Alsoooo, this is definitely an interesting development and hints on how this revolution might function? Maybe the humans have allies throughout the galaxy. And don't mind me, trying to decode that acronym. Milky way space core? Milky way super cats? Milky way star calvary? Hmmm, I'll keep thinking, but into specifics!

Daisy nodded in acknowledgment and gave her best impression of a superior smug look although her inability to stop herself from smiling completely ruined the look.

"I don't think I can argue with [/b]said,[b]" said Harry, turning around," I'm taking the front of the ship. You two take the other sides. I guess we start with whatever loose items are on the floor and then work our way up?"

"It's written right here, MWSC Rainbow Emergency Escape Pod A49," said Harry pointing out white lettering set next to one of the cracked control panels.

"English?" asked Daisy, "how can it be in English.?"

Hey!

RandomTalks here with a review!

Well, this was an interesting end to the chapter. I feel like we got some solid information here but I still do not know how that is going to fit itself in the bigger picture. Right now the 's' in MWSC can have so many different meanings, but I have a feeling that whatever it was, it had good intentions. Because they speak in English, I am going to assume that it does not belong to the aliens. My wild imagination has already come up with several theories. The most reliable theory is that it was a rescue ship that the aliens had somehow got to know about. Could be anything though!

I really liked the dialogues in this chapter. They were informative and yet characteristic of the three of them. You included a lot of details in a really subtle and easy manner. I am just curios now about where this is going. I still believe that the ship is going to play some pivotal part in the story, I just cannot guess how.

That would confirm the suspicions that her mother had mentioned that one morning.

Hey! Forever here with a review!!

This MWSC sounds very exciting and interesting. S can stand for safety. That is the only thing I can think of at the moment. The thing is the characters ignore the rest of the name. MWSC Rainbow Emergency Escape Pod A49(I copy pasted it ). First of all with rainbow, I wonder how is it related with rainbow? Like in other planets, how can there be rainbow(the typical rainbow I mean, the one formed due to rain)? Maybe they meant something else. Now emergency escape pod. First of all, escape! Why did I suddenly think about the escape of the human beings and the vehicle was sent for that purpose? I don't know but well, I do wonder who was supposed to escape? There was no one inside the vehicle or maybe they were invisible! A lot of exclamatory things happening here but well, we will not know this until the third book...

One to two weeks is definitely a loong time and I wonder how long it took till now. I would just suggest to give something like it had been _ days since it was found or something of that sort. That would clear the time span.

They didn't really find something very interesting inside the ship and that is very disappointing when I expected them to find something useful. However, the whole cleaning is not yet done so maybe they will find something useful. The inside seemed to be fairly protecyed so that outside harms can't cause any sort of problems to it. If the Aliens shot that down because it was sent by the enemies, then they have powerful enemies.

I liked how you provided a bit of past here. I have been wondering about this for quite a few parts. I guess we will be getting a good insight to whatever it was but not too soon. Overall, builds a lot of mystery. I never succeed at writing a good overall.

Keep Writing!

~Forever

Hi Harry,

Mailice a final time here with a short review!

Herewith we have reached the end of chapter 7 and I must say that it was a good pleasure to read it. If you read it through in one complete rush, you notice much sooner when something catches your eye.

For example, your switching between the narrative form and the dialogue is like an up and down and I really like that style. It gives an exciting way to read it, but can feel a bit repetitive in much longer chapters in this format. Here I still found it okay.

Also as mentioned earlier, the characters were more alive here than ever before. Not only that, but I found that their development and plot came a long way. There are always new doors opening up that await the reader and especially in the last two parts I found this well realised in the dialogue.

Some minor points where you need to look again would be the "to say" in dialogue, especially when it's parts that are very keen on making dialogue the focus, and sometimes your sentences where you repeat yourself a bit too often.

Otherwise, I found chapter 7 a convincing performance for the continuation of the story.

Two other points I noticed while reading:

It didn't look like many things were out of order. Several charred screens coated in a black gooey substance lined the walls of the ship. The paint was cracked in several places but surprisingly still recognizable as a forest green. The other flight equipment was mostly intact and unmoved. 

"English?" asked Daisy,"how can it be in English.?"