Hi Harry,
Mailice back with another short review!
Here we have now more or less reached the peak of character development and how the characters interact with each other. (Not that it goes downhill after that, in the sense that it gets worse). Here you can clearly see that Harry and Daisy can also be different, as can Aria and Daisy, as well as the former and Harry. You create a kind of triplicity with this flexibility, which is really good to see in the dialogue. I notice when I read that during those moments, I build up extreme speed in my reading because it's like oil where you slip.
At some point I stop reading who it's coming from, because at some point you figure out by yourself who's talking. Harry, in particular, sometimes seems a bit more like sarcasm, where you can also see a slight hint of it in Aria from time to time, but she seems a bit more direct and can also seem more hurtful as a result. But on a second reading I also noticed that you used "to say" a bit more often again.
Two other points I noticed while reading:
said Aria and began to cut through the metal once more this time to make a cut right through the section that she'd cut out so that it would break a bit easier once they attempted to get in.
This sentence definitely needs to be restructured because there is so much "cut" in it that you could cut through walls with it. No, really I would try to rewrite it a bit, because the sentence itself is quite long.
"I hope there is no dead body inside," said Daisy.
In the last part you already told about it, in a train of thought of Aria's, that she hopes there is no dead body (worse would actually be a living body), and don't know now if you wanted to create a commonality there, or if it was actually supposed to be a phrase of Aria's.
Have fun writing!
Mailice
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