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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 3.4

by KateHardy


It was truly a feeling unlike what Aria had experienced before. Knowing what was outside the wall wasn't something she'd imagined they'd ever be able to see. As she looked up again to see what more of the forest could be seen by the dron, Mr. Summers paused the footage, turning the laptop back towards himself.

“So there we go, that right there, is our biggest obstacle to getting out of her,” said Jake, “At the moment we're just calling it "The Weird Forest" because we couldn't really think of anything better.”

“Are those alien plant?” asked Harry, “How are they…” He waved his hands around as if he didn't quite know what to say.

“Hmm, from the data we've been able to gather, those plant being of alien origin is the most popular theory, but unless we can get a sample of some sort and do a DNA test we can of course confirm nothing,” said Mrs. Kane," we have a lot of resident technicians, but sadly the study of trees is art form that is simply not found here. We have books, but no one who can truly understand them is alive any more."

“Yes, a unfortunate side effect of the mass genocide of the later 2090's,” began Mr. Summers, " at any rate, what we do know suggests that the aliens haven’t been idle over the past century or so, they’ve performed quite a bit of light terraforming, rather extensive but subtle, and the Oxygen levels in the atmosphere has risen dramatically, I presume you know that it used to be around 15%. Well now its possibly closer to around 40% or 50%, something I assume is similar to their own planet and to Earth as well, millions of years ago when life first got underway. In a ironic twist of fate, Humanity's near extinction and take over by the Venocarpathians has lead to Earth herself getting a new lease of life.”

“I don't know how I should respond to that,” said Harry, looking genuinely surprised. Aria herself was at a loss for words. She was starting to wish this meeting would end soon. There were only so many revelations one could take in a single night.

“Alright then, I believe that is about it for today,” said Ms. Johnson, “ you guys can see the rest on another day. The rest isn't quite so interesting anyway. From the data we’ve gathered, it appears to be a regular settlement, nothing particularly dangerous in plain sight.  We can of course not assume that there will be hidden measures."

Aria breathed a sigh of relief. She needed to get back to their quarters and process all of this. The fact that there was an alien colony was a fairly well known fact. That didn't surprise her, but the fact that they'd actually seen it was something hard to imagine. She didn't even know where to begin when imagining what the colony might look like.

“So did you guys managed to actually spy on the outer wall?” asked Harry. Aria almost facepalmed. Did he have to ask even more questions? He had to be at least as shocked as she was at the moment. 

“Sadly no,” said Mr. Summers, “this has all been possible through some very clever engineering by our resident mad scientist here.” He pointed at Mr. Summers.

"Excuse me, I'm neither a scientist, nor mad, I'm a perfectly sane engineer," said Mr Summer, cutting in.

“Sorry, Alex. We know that," said Ms. Johnson. "So what's Jakes's saying is we've gotten to places with our Arachnodroid here, but battery life is sadly very much a limiting factor especially with the kind of parts we have to work with. Soo...we got some distance along to the alien settlement where we can make out the outer wall and its main gate, but well, we'll tell you guys about that later. Understandably I can see both you are a bit overwhelmed here but what we already saw. Like I said enough for one night.”

“Yes, I think time to wrap up for today. These two need their sleep as well. Besides this meeting was mostly about just introducing you two to what’s really out there,” said Mrs. Kane, “the specifics we can talk of later.”


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Tue Sep 14, 2021 6:38 pm
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MaybeAndrew wrote a review...



Ooooooh forest, trees. Andrew here with a review. This chapter was a good extension of the last one, if a bit anticlimatic (all they got to see was trees? ): ) I can understand Arias utter shock, it would be like seeing the afterlife. I can only imagine that people have thought about outside the wall for some time.
Real quick thought, and correct me if I'm wrong, but the humans have been trapped for generations now right? How much access to history and knowledge to they have, because if what they have is limited, I can imagine the word of math would morphe into mythological stories. Turning the time before into an almost Eden-type faerie tale. Facts would turn into metaphors and history into legends. Generals and soldiers into heroes and demigods. I think this could be a really interesting idea to play with, even if they have good records, the information does not spread perfectly, we already have almost 'myths' about the past centries. (IE, conspiracy theories, tall tales, stories from wars, things blown out of proportion, newer religions etc.)
But into specifics!

Knowing what was outside the wall wasn't something she'd imagined they'd ever be able to see.

Weirdly built sentence
As she looked up again to see what more of the forest could be seen by the drone

Honestly I was expecting some game-changing piece of info, but a forest works too. But I would like more of a description here, tall trees, short trees? Deciduous or evergreen? Other plants? Any signs of animals? Thick forest floor? What season? I presume they can see some of that.
Venocarpathians

oooooh, alein names.
“Sadly no,” said Mr. Summers, “this has all been possible through some very clever engineering by our resident mad scientist here.” He pointed at Mr. Summers.

Got to love Mr. Summers talking in the third person and pointing at himself.
“Yes, I think time to wrap up for today. These two need their sleep as well. Besides this meeting was mostly about just introducing you two to what’s really out there,” said Mrs. Kane, “the specifics we can talk of later.”

So this big meeting just to show them a video of the woods! They put all the effort into making the meeting happen just for that? I want to know more!
Sorry for my outburst, I'm just brimming with questions, XD.
There were more grammatical mistakes than normal in this chapter, so I'd suggest skimming for those, but nothing major.
But that's all just my two cents! Hope it helps
Thanks, and keep writing,
Andrew




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Haha, this was just to give them the barest taste of what's out there...can't have it being described in too much detail just quite yet ;) but this forest is definitely going to come back full force soon enough :D



KateHardy says...


Oooh also realized I totally didn't answer that first part...but umm, well its been almost a century, and things do get passed down, they have like a museum and school and whatnot. So they have a base understanding but yeah some things will be a bit like what you described, I don't get to explore it tooo much in this one, but in the sequels to this, that will come up more.



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Sun Sep 05, 2021 9:05 am
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey!! Forever here with a review!!

For some reason, it seems like Harry and Aria are quite important people in the meeting. I don't know if it's only due to the fact that they were assigned with the duty of that new door. Maybe there is something else and again my mind goes back to the father. Maybe it has something to do with their father. Precisely, the ppl in the meeting has something important about them, I think. Like Mr. Summers is the head and the engineer there. I wonder about other's significance. Quite interesting.

About the Alien plants now. I wonder what actually their nature is. Now considering the fact that Aliens have their own planet and also that probably, the land of the planet is not really made up of soil, it kind of sounds strangw that the plants can grow on Earth. The Aliens must have done something to the Earth's soil. Perhaps, they have removed it from the place. ...

Aria seems to be hopeful in an unprecedented manner. After all, the meeting didn't go in vain. They got to know about a lot of things which they didn't know earlier.

The oxygen. As the Aliens murdered many people, I wonder if they actually murdered them by decreasing the amount of oxygen in the air. 15% oxygen is definitely not a very good condition. However, the Aliens need oxygen for survival? If no, then why did they increase it in their own planet? I wonder.

So a lot of things and the meeting ended. This was a great place for ending the chaptee but as you didn't, maybe it will end with something more interesting. :)

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




KateHardy says...


Thank youuu for the review!!!

Oh actually...the aliens increased the oxygen from 15% to 40%. :D It was to help them survive because their planet has around that much oxygen. They have their reasons for doing this....I won't reveal that yet cause its important later :D





I see, Suspicious lol. And did you know that you have increased one u in your typical "youu" and also one exclamation mark? :D



KateHardy says...


Hehe

Oh dear....how did that happen...;)





XD ;)



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Thu Sep 02, 2021 6:29 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi HarryHardy,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

That was an interesting conclusion to the meeting and I think Aria's expression of amazement at seeing the reality showed how little she knows of all this or has only seen/learned in theory so far. I would probably react in a similar way if I saw an alien colony after hearing you talk about aliens so often.

With the conclusion of the meeting you have now given a great overview of the story, and what makes me even more happy, also how it will continue. Now that all this information has been given, I think it's time for the story to get back into the action. Now this is not to be taken directly as a criticism, but I found that with the last one and this one the humour moved a little more to the back burner, and think that this also has to do with the fact that we have been given some information to build up an understanding.

Apart from some minor spelling mistakes, there was nothing noticeable in the chapter. Honestly, it gets harder and harder to write a review when the chapter seems so small. :D And I don't want to keep repeating myself what's good. :D

Some other points I caught while reading:

ever be able to see. As she looked up again to see what more of the forest could be seen by the dron, Mr. Summers paused the footage, turning the laptop back towards himself.

In these two sentences, "to see" appears three times. I would try to rewrite it that way at least in the second sentence. Ah, and dron has lost an e. :D
the study of trees is art form that

The "an" is missing here.
"Yes, an unfortunate side effect of the mass genocide of the later 2090's,"

Such a timeline would be very useful to get an overview of everything that happened.
In an ironic twist of fate

An "n" is needed here.
by the Venocarpathians has lead

Shouldn't it be has led here?
you guys can see the rest on another day. The rest isn't quite so interesting anyway.

You can use "it" in the second sentence to replace "the rest". You already have it in the first sentence.
"Sadly no," said Mr. Summers, "this has all been possible through some very clever engineering by our resident mad scientist here." He pointed at Mr Summers.
"Excuse me, I'm neither a scientist, nor mad, I'm a perfectly sane engineer," said Mr Summer, cutting in.

I think you made a little mistake here with the names. I don't think Mr. Summer(s) talks to himself like that.




Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



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Thu Sep 02, 2021 12:47 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with another review!

So, finally the much-anticipated meeting is over. This part felt like it had slipped back into the flow of the earlier parts. The tension of the previous one is no longer as prevalent in this part, and they both have seemed to got their bearings back. However coming from the previous part, I felt like the transition was a bit too sudden. Last we saw them, they were speechless and awestruck and then we open with this part and suddenly there are all these dialogues and all these other characters speaking. Maybe you could make the transition a bit smoother.

We got a lot of information from this part. The fact that the oxygen level in the atmosphere has been replenished with the imprisonment of human beings felt a little obvious and unavoidable. Having never been on the other side of the world, I am sure these people have no idea how human beings have polluted the environment in their days, but it seems like the aliens are taking better care of the world. Also, do they even require oxygen to breathe? I am not sure.

I liked the bit of humor you included in this chapter. Also, Harry seems to be back in character, his shock and nerves having worn off after all. I wonder now that the meeting is over, what will they do with all this information? How will they respond? Until now, their reactions to it all has been mostly through their thoughts. But I look forward to reading their interactions with each other as well.

A few details:

It was truly a feeling unlike what Aria had experienced before.

The word 'what' does not match the context of the sentence, it should be "It was truly a feeling unlike 'anything' Aria had experienced before."

that right there, is our biggest obstacle to getting out of her,

The 'e' is missing in 'here', making it 'her', and changing the complete meaning of the sentence.

Are those alien plant?

Throughout this part, you refer to them as 'alien plant'. I am sure there are many 'plants' there, so I think it is better that you use the plural form.

a unfortunate side effect of the mass genocide of the later 2090's

Just a nitpick, 'a' will become 'an'.

“Yes, a unfortunate side effect of the mass genocide of the later 2090's,” began Mr. Summers, " at any rate, what we do know suggests that the aliens haven’t been idle over the past century or so, they’ve performed quite a bit of light terraforming, rather extensive but subtle, and the Oxygen levels in the atmosphere has risen dramatically, I presume you know that it used to be around 15%.

This is a single sentence and I think you can see how long it is. Instead of putting commas, you should just end the sentence and start a new one. It doesn't change the meaning of the sentence and it doesn't look as lengthy either.

"So what's Jakes's saying

It will be "So what Jakes's saying".

Understandably I can see both you are a bit overwhelmed here but what we already saw.

There is an 'of' missing after 'both' and I think you 'about' there in place of 'but'.

That's all.

Keep writing and have a great day!




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!




Perfection is lots of little things done well.
— Marco Pierre White