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Young Writers Society


12+

Survival: The Escape, Chapter 23.1

by KateHardy


Chapter 23

The Final Step

[Harry]

Harry sat opposite Aria in his hiding spot as the transport pulled out of the warehouse. He’d chosen that specifically so that he could see the window from where he sat, so he’d know when they actually got to the outer wall itself. Aria had probably sat across from him for that exact reason, only she’d see through the window that was above his head. 

It was exciting and yet also so much more terrifying to sit here. The journey to get to this transport had been rough; the plan had gone wrong before it had even had a chance to begin. Somehow they'd made it through. The rest of the plan had worked out, and now here they were at the very last step. 

All they had to do was survive this checkpoint out of this camp and then it would be over. Or maybe it will just begin. Mom was pretty clear about what had to happen next after all. As much as this feels like the final step, this is only really the first.

Putting aside his thoughts on the plans for the future, he went back to paying attention to the window in front of him. The transport had really started to pick up speed once they’d cleared the warehouse area. The trees were flying past so quickly Harry couldn't even really savor this new scenery as they made the turn from the road to the warehouse onto the road that would lead out of camp.

Harry couldn’t stop the smile on his face. Sure, it wasn’t certain yet that they would escape, if anything, with their current position, if they were discovered, their deaths were the only things that would be assured, but, they were finally going to at least get near it. No human had ever gotten so close to the outer wall. No one had made it this far in a century’s worth of attempts. That had to count for something, he decided. Even if they all died.

The scenery from the window began to change. The trees cut off all of a sudden at one point and suddenly all Harry could see was sky from the angle he was sitting at. He was very tempted to stand up and see better, but he decided risking that at this stage would be a terrible idea, especially considering one look from the drivers in the front seating area to spell doom for all of them. He only hope this wait wouldn't go on for too much longer.

The bland scenery continued right up until he caught a glimpse of metal and concrete. That was it, the final hurdle coming slowly into view. 

Potentially the oldest part of this area, the outer wall, which was rumored to stand at a proud ten meters in height, was clearly visible even at the angle he currently had. He could see the gleam in Aria’s eyes. She turned away from the window to look down and caught his eye. She nodded with a wink. Harry nodded back. It was time.


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Sun Dec 26, 2021 11:03 am
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

I genuinely liked this start to the final chapter. We actually 'hear' from the characters in this part, even though it is just Harry. You have tried a more contemplative approach in this part, where we focus more on the character's thoughts than what is going on with the plot. And I have to say it really works because it adds that element that had been missing in the last chapter. This chapter instantly becomes a better read, because we are hearing from Harry, we are experiencing it with him. Even though it is only one person, we know now what is going on in our characters' heads and it gives us a better perception of the story.

I liked the fact that you kept this part brief as it acts more like a short and calm interlude before we move back to the story, or rather the next book. Listening to Harry's overview of this story makes us a little nostalgic and release a great big breath when we realize everything that has happened since we started on this journey. It makes us think and remember and we feel Harry's emotions reflected very much in our own. I also liked the fact that you included the moments in between like Harry wanting to stand up to get a better view of the bleak scenery or the shared wink between the siblings. Moments like these are what we had been missing in the last couple of chapters and I am glad we got to witness these 'quiet' moments again. Just like back when our trio used to stare at the stars after their shift. Wow....it feels like such a long time ago.

Mom was pretty clear about what had to happen next after all.

Now, the beginning to this chapter also felt like it was setting up the next story. It definitely adds a new excitement to the story and we wonder what is going to happen next. From the quoted sentence, we get the impression that they know exactly what is going to happen next and have a very formed and well-prepared plan. The fact that we know nothing about it, does excite me a little.

Keep writing and have a great day!




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D

Once again soo sorry for the late reply



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Thu Dec 16, 2021 6:10 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

It was a very interesting start to the final chapter of the first book and I have to say that I liked this ending as well in view.

In contrast to the previous parts, where it happened so often that you talked in silence and you didn't get any further in this matter, this part here, although it seems similar, seemed much better. It had a different narrative style which I liked a lot and also reminded me of your other work where I read the latest chapter part earlier.

This part here had a very quiet vibe, it was actually like a kind of "documentary" that you were reading through, as you sprinkled it with a very neutral tone in parts. This led in places to me not getting the feeling of being in the middle of it, but now getting out of the story for the last chapter. I have to be honest, I really like that because I like how you want to create a new beginning by taking the ending in that direction.

I particularly like this idea of Harry that you've put in here. :D

Or maybe it will just begin. Mom was pretty clear about what had to happen next after all. As much as this feels like the final step, this is only really the first.


In general, I like the part and how we are now slowly but surely moving into the next book. Your writing style here is much more enjoyable to read than in the previous ones and also looking back at the previous chapters I like that here we know we are coming to an end. I think what I didn't like as much in the last chapters wasn't that the monologues were missing or that everything felt like a film in a weird way, but more that I couldn't flip the book forward and see where it was coming to a quotation mark again. :D

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



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Sun Dec 12, 2021 9:30 am
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Final chapter!! We are in the final chapter, I can't believe it! 107 parts in total(taking into account that this chapter is going to have 3 parts). Oh we are back to Harry.

One thing I am currently missing is the other characters. Like we don't really get views other than that of the narrator. I noticed this issue in the last chapter too. It's true that none of them has any time to look at other characters in the story but I think that you can at least include a few glimpses other than those where they move from one place to the other. That would be a good addition. Also, I want to know a bit about the road and what it is made of.

I liked the bit of recap we had here about the journey. Readers who had forgotten things about the journey got a chance to recall everything about it. A great recapitulation from the narrator's side.

Seems like the story is going to end with them getting past the outer wall. Though not sure, I think this has to be the case. They have pretty much crossed all the possible hurdles of their journey and now, nothing more is going to happen(I ardently wish for something more. Doesn't matter how evil it sounds) The characters too are kind of getting some hints of no more climax. I like how Harry is happy even though their mission isn't complete. Ten metres can be achieved by a ladder

Keep Writing!!
~Forever




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D




Poetry is like a bird, it ignores all frontiers.
— Yevgeny Yevtushenko