Young Writers Society

Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

This was a more laid-back and relaxed part, and honestly, I am not going to complain. It seems that the cliffhanger from the previous part wasn't that big of a deal and 'the thud' was just Ryan landing in safety. I thought it would be anticlimactic after the great excitement you caused with that ending, but I am more than glad that they did not have to fight through any big battles right now. They are very close to the ending, and I would really like for them to go i peace (of course, you are not going to do that).

I did think that the transformation of the tone and pace from the previous part to this one happened a little too quickly and it felt like we glossed over certain details. In that sense, it was more like the first part of this chapter. It felt like a monotonous narration of what was going on and I had forgotten that we were supposed to read from Daisy's point of view. It changed again once they were on move and trying to hide behind the trees. At that time, I could again hear Daisy's voice, her thoughts and feelings, as once again get caught up in what is happening in the moment.

I enjoyed the calm of this part. You moved the plot along in an easy and effortless manner and this chapter was like a fresh breath of air after the dangers and uncertainties of the forest. Even now, we don't have much idea of what is going to happen. But they are almost out now, and whatever happens, this is it.

She turned to give Harry a quick smile and then she was off, the looked towards the side that the transports were supposed to come from as she ran.

Hey!! Forever here with a review!!

Wow, I guessed it right! *Flashes a wide smile* So, no more danger of the aliens except the slight suspect of the transport system. Hopefully, that is not going to be a big problem in the upcoming parts.

Anyway, we are back to our relaxed style. I like the alternating relaxed and action style of writing in this chapter. So, hm... Seems like the aliens are extra cautious about everything. CCTV camera in alien settlements too. Maybe the aliens steal too. Okay, so some robbery is going to happen, I can see that. However, I am afraid that it can be detected. Like most probably, they will not be able to hide from the warehouse cameras. I do wonder if something is in responsibility of monitoring that camera. If there's always an alien to do that, it would be very bad for them besides being terribly hard to sneak out.

It's quite interesting how the easiest option they had in their hand is becoming harder and harder to execute. The transport, though an advantage is proving to be a disadvantage too. Hm... This reminds me of the time when the spaceship crashed into the camp. This chapter is reminding me of the past quite frequently. I like it

And now supposedly, they are quite safe behind the giant trees. Now, it's time for them to get out through the transports and also to steal a few things.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever

Hi Harry,

Mailice again here with a short review!

Here we come back to the old formula of the beginning and I have to say that it makes the third part seem a lot more mysterious and secretive than it probably should be. But I like the way the story goes back in the direction of the silent quintet.

I must honestly say that this part left more of an impression. Especially because the parts here all seem a bit smaller, I like this one because of the rapid succession of events you present here. You suddenly see a bit more of what I missed in the previous parts and it comes to a great end. I like how the thread continues here.

One thing I noticed here, though, was how the first section limped a bit. Unlike the other parts here in the chapter, this one feels quite flat and a bit abbreviated and silent through the sentences. I know there was this long sentence at the beginning, but the repetition here of several shorter sentences adds rather negatively to the beginning, especially because it just ended from the last part still so in a high arc of tension. Here we now have a rather mediocre result. I think it would only help to perhaps expand on this a bit more and write more to underline this point better.

One thing I noticed while reading:

The light died down as suddenly as it had come over them, and she allowed herself to open her eyes. She let out a sigh of relief.