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Young Writers Society


12+

Survival: The Escape, Chapter 19.5

by KateHardy


The two of them stood there for what felt like several eternities but was more likely just a couple of minutes before Aria finally walked up to them.

“Job done,” she said, “that thing put up a bit more of a fight than I was expecting it to but it should no longer be able to attack us.”

“That’s good,” said Kate, a visible sense of relief on her face, “so we just keep on running then?”

“Yeah, we really shouldn’t actually be stopping, we don’t know for certain if the guards actually stopped their pursuit of us at the door, we heard it close but you just never know with these guys. Come on, we should soon be approaching the part where we have to go into the jungle proper…and while that’s not exactly reassuring at least at that point we can be sure none of the guards will be following us. These are wild animals after all, the guards aren't any safer in here than we are.”

“You get some, you lose some,” summed up Harry.

“Yes, okay…I’m in the lead once again, I want Kate and Ryan to be the flank this time, Harry and Daisy bring up the rear,” said Aria.

“Aye, Captain,” said Harry, doing an exaggerated salute. Daisy couldn’t help but smile even as Aria proceeded to give him a light slap on the shoulder.

The five of them quickly slipped into the formation that Aria had suggested and they continued on their journey. The tree cover was now beginning to increase the further they went, cutting the moonlight off more with each step. Soon, they could find themselves in complete darkness. Daisy shivered at the thought. It was one thing to be in a darkened but closed off hallway, it was another matter entirely for it to be dark inside a deadly forest.

It didn’t take too long for the lighting problem to start becoming all too noticeable. After even Harry, the master of all things nocturnal had managed to trip and fall for the third time, Aria called them to a quick halt.

“Okay, I think we need to slow down a bit," began Aria, "although I just don't feel like its a good idea till we’re clear of the path. The last thing we need right now is to get ambushed by more guards.”

“So we can either get ambushed or just like knock into every single large root and stone in this path,” said Harry.

“Yeah, I don’t think I like either of those options at this point,” said Ryan," but Aria is correct and I think we can safely say we don't really have the ability to make that choice."

“Could we may be clear out the canopy using the guns?” asked Kate.

“And have trees potentially fall on our heads, no thank you,” said Harry.

“Or worse, there could be something living on top of the canopy,” added Daisy.

“Forget I ever suggested that,” said Kate immediately.

“Maybe the light from the guns could be enough if we like, held them a bit lower to the ground or something, or maybe that charging motion might provide a decent bit of light,” said Aria, “that’s literally all I've got at this point. I don’t think we’ve got any other way of finding a light source.”

“We could try, but hmm…I think just gritting it out and hoping for the best is all we can do. We’ve been walking for a while now, I’m sure we’ll reach the point where we have to go off the path soon enough,” said Harry.

“Alright, let’s do our best to get to that point as soon as we can,” said Aria, “if the guards catch up, so be it.”

With that declaration, the five of them resumed their walk. This time, using the guns and by slowing down to more of a fast walk instead of jogging, they were able to navigate with minimal mishaps. Daisy clung tightly to Harry as they went deeper in. She was still really not a fan of the darkness, and the creepy forest wasn’t helping. Holding onto Harry somehow seemed to just make everything seem a little bit less frightening.

Before they knew it, Daisy was staring at a formation of trees she recognized from the information they had gathered. It was the point that they would have step off the path and head through the main jungle itself.

“Okay guys, I’m sure you recognize where we’re at now,” said Aria, turning around, “As terrible of an idea as it seems, let's get as deep in there as possible. Even though it will be far more dangerous from here, the only thing we have to do now is stay alive, stay undetected and find the right vehicle to escape on so we get our supplies. No one is likely to be chasing us anymore…unless of course we’re seen once we get out of here but we'll worry about that when we come to it.”

“We’re one step closer then I guess,” said Harry, “we’ve already gotten farther than pretty much everyone before us.”

“Yes, “said Daisy, “we’ve come too far to fail now.”

“On that lovely note, let’s get going,” said Aria.

One by one they stepped off the path.


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Mon Nov 22, 2021 4:45 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Okay so that's definitely a relief for them that the animal has finally gave up and is probably... Dead. I like how the aliens still haven't succeeded at making these animals faithful to them. Honestly, I was expecting some kind of super ultra extraordinary technology to the animals to make them loyal but seems like they haven't really done it. Definitely a great point.

Now, I can clearly see why this was called the hardest part. In the previous part, it was understandanble but as we progress, it is becoming more understandable to us readers. I don't really think the guards have decided to follow them but I highly suspect the presence of something else in the forest however. Something worse than worst. Anyway looking on the bright side, the danger if guards is not really existent.

Tripping down so many times is actually a danger and can be fatal, to be honest and in the worst case. Like still they don't know what trees they have ahead of them and about other dangers. Very unsure but if there are smaller animals, that can be fatal too. I really hope that this aspect is not same as Earthly things.

And finalllyy, they have reached their target! However, still it's not over. They have to get the right vehicle and use that as the transport. And if I am not wrong, that vehicle is controlled by the aliens, I mean that vehicle belongs to the aliens and the driver too is an alien. That seems to be quite tough a thing here.

Again I am not very sure about it but did the guns make any sort of sound? Or were the guns soundless guns? If they were soundless, that's quite great but if they do have sound, I think it did make them a bit noticeable. I mean if the animals arr not deaf as the aliens, they should have heard the sound of the guns and was probably attracted towards it. I need some clarification on this. Andd chapter 19 is over! We are indeed one step closer to the success.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Oooh..good question with the guns :D They don't make a massive sound like the ones that exist now, but they do make an electric discharging sound which is not super loud, but it is definitely enough noise for a few animals to notice. ;)



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Sun Nov 21, 2021 9:41 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

So we are at the end of chapter 19! As Harry said, one step closer to the end, I suppose!

This was an interesting end to the chapter. I really enjoyed the dialogues in this part, as they reflected the improvisation that is often involved in plans. The way they kept planting suggestions on top of one another, crossing the ones that felt the most unlikely as they went on felt very natural to me. Somehow, it made me feel like I was present while they were making these decisions and understanding their choices made me feel more included and invested in the story. So that was a really great decision to include the dialogues in this way.

They truly seem to have come a long distance. I know this is a plot-driven story, but it would be interesting if we could find some developments in the characters as well at the end of the ride. You have not really showcased any of their personal struggles, so maybe you could focus on them more as a group instead and show how far they have come from being separate individuals who did not really know each other to a team that would trust each other with their lives if the situation demanded it. I don't know, I just think it would be interesting to see the character's development as well.

Overall, this was a really exciting chapter. I had thought that the story would close off once they made the escape from the camp and that the next book would be all about how they survive in the forest and find help from outside. I am glad that you included the forest part in this book though. Most of the story had been set inside the camp, and well, there is only so much you can take of the same place. The forest includes a very exciting new dynamic to the story as we don't really know anything about this place. And neither do the characters.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



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Sat Nov 20, 2021 10:09 am
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice back with a short review to end the chapter! :D

We are reaching the end of the chapter. I have to say, that overall I enjoyed it. Especially after the re-reading the five parts, I enjoyed the first two parts, how they got my attention to look out for something with this sort of narrative. It was a great way to give some suspense for the coming parts, but there I´ve got the feeling that this got finished to quickly. I´m now standing here on a crossing. On one hand, I know that there is way more to come but on the other hand, there is already now no problem to see here, so I´m a bit "nervous" to see where this will lead us?

Are we going to see the growth of the team as unbeatable or is there a change to come and these first tests are only a tiny challenge. Right now you have my attention on this "tiny problem" because I´m not so happy with the way how the overall fight was dealt with and I´m looking forward, how this will change.

That doesn't mean that the chapter was bad, but it was a bit of a tease for me after having the first two parts building up to this point and now we are standing at the end already only because we haven´t seen this much.

I can´t remember if you have already done this in one of your previous chapters, but a switch in the POV would have been a great change to see the fight from Aria´s or maybe Harry´s perspective.

Overall the chapter wasn't bad, but it had some things missing that I would have liked to see. :D

One other point I noticed while reading:

“Job done,” she said, “that thing put up a bit more of a fight than I was expecting it to but it should no longer be able to attack us.”

I wish we could have read that. :D


Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Hmm, this fight was put a little more in the background than any of the others and it serves as a little bit of a confidence booster for the team. They've not really entered the dangerous bit of the forest just quite yet. :D

Hmm...I did switch POV's before. I only did it once I think for this book, usually I do that a little more often in novels with more fight scenes..but I think I just felt like this one would work being solely in Daisy's POV. I will look to change that for the third draft I think.

Well hopefully the next few chapters are more exciting. Just four more after this to the ending. :D




a little humanity makes all the difference
— Rosendorn