z

Young Writers Society


12+

Survival: The Escape, Chapter 19.2

by KateHardy


As they were passing through a particularly dark section of the road where a tree had grown across the path itself, they came to a quick halt. The very prominent purple archway formed by the thick tree trunk had been one of the plants the information they'd gotten had warned against. Aria raised her hand slowly and gestured for them to back away slowly. Apparently, this was a tree that responded movement through fine hairs on its trunk, and those hairs could be up to a foot long and nearly invisible even in daylight, much less the tiny bit of moonlight they currently had. They would have to walk across without triggering the tree or the roots along the side would snap up and trap them before they could say “alien”.

On Aria’s signal, they all dropped down to the floor and began the slow crawl across the jungle floor. Daisy couldn't help the shudder that went through her body as she touched the cold ground. Hoping against hope that one of the giant millipede that had been mentioned was not going to make an appearance as they were crawling, she began the crawl. 

It was a very tedious process, but unavoidable if they wanted to remain alive. Soon they were safely on the other side of the tree and resuming a brisk pace one more. Daisy continued to grow anxious however. Their incredible luck to avoid running into any of the forest’s less stationary inhabitants up to this point couldn’t possibly hold for too much longer.

Then she heard it, a small rattling sound coming from their far left. Daisy let out a sigh. She had probably jinxed them with her stupid paranoia. She tapped on Aria’s shoulder, giving her the signal that she’d heard a suspicious noise behind them. Aria nodded and signaled for everyone to start moving faster and keep their ears strained.

“If anyone gets a visual of something chasing us, start running immediately,” whispered Aria after that, “don’t stop to identify it, most things in here are faster than us so we’ll be getting a closer look even if we start running.”

“Let’s hope it’s just a closer look and not a closer taste or something,” said Harry, “okay...wait a minute…I meant, it’s gonna get a taste of us…you know what…let’s not continue down that though process, let’s just keep moving.”

“I second that,” said Daisy.

With that, they moved as fast as they could through the path. Lucky for them, they were still on the path, which while overgrown wouldn’t be nearly as hard to travel through as the forest floor would be. They didn’t hear another noise for a bit, almost long enough to convince Daisy that maybe she’d just been hearing things and there was nothing behind them after all. And the she heard it again. A tiny rattling sound, this time louder than before, coming from somewhere behind them. Katie seemed to have heard it too and the two of them began to run, which was the signal for everyone to break into a run.

Just as the five of them burst into a run, the sounds behind them immediately started to be accompanied by a small thudding sound getting increasingly louder by the minute. The rattling sound also started to increase in volume and pitch. 

Daisy didn’t dare look back at what was chasing them. Not that her mind didn’t try to dream up a creature that was a cross between a rattlesnake and a komodo dragon. Pushing the images aside however, she kept running, keeping pace with the rest of the group.

The sounds behind them only kept increasing however, with loud hissing starting to get added into the mix. Daisy was now quite sure it had to be some kind of mutant lizard…probably not a snake judging by the thuds that indicated some sort of footsteps but then it was from an alien planet; it could actually be some kind of snake.


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Sat Nov 20, 2021 10:08 am
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice back with a short review! :D

I would assume that it is a little bit of this remedy that I mentioned earlier that I see here. It's a change of perspectives between a distant view and a frontal view. I still find it a bit strange to read, but can understand that here in a wide "area" that is outside, such a change is certainly beneficial.

I like how the part evolves here and the narration and disclosure of information is more prominent than now direct speech. It gives me this feeling like there's a lot more to come.

Daisy felt different here than usual, but not ur in a way I wouldn't like, but in a "pushy" urge to participate. I like how there is a different side to the characters and a change as a result. I was always convinced that Daisy was dependent on Aria and Harry and was the one who seemed the most "childlike". It didn't feel that way here, but that she seems to have grown a bit after her experiences with the aliens and the whole escape.

One point I noticed while reading:

Not that her mind didn’t try to dream up a creature that was a cross between a rattlesnake and a komodo dragon.

I really like how Daisy moves between two extremes here. I would prefer a Komodo dragon because I have never seen them in real life. :D

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



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Fri Nov 19, 2021 4:55 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

I am back, at last. Okay, so we got to see why exactly this part was called the hardest part of the escape. Definitely, the aliens were very very cautious of everything belonging to the humans. Also, they havw succeeded at making Earth perfectly habitable for them and their own animals too. I thought they were using some dangerous animals of Earth but seems like the forest was completely an alien forest with no Earthly things at all. Quite interesting.

I do not know but is there absolutely no way to kill them? I mean if they can't avoid them at any cost, murder will be the only way except running. They do have guns. I hope that like the aliens were killed by the guns, the team will be able to kill these animals too.

Everything belonging to the aliens is a problem for the human world. I really do wonder about how the aliens could do all these. Quite a thing to wonder about. I loved how you described the trees and everything of the forest. The trees were more robots than trees. So sensitive trees. Oh my god! The aliens have definitely taken care not to give their own weaknesses to their trees. Like they are not at all sensitive but their trees are super sensitive. Quite a contrast we have here.

The comment which Harry made was very interesting. Honestly, I didn't quite understand what he exactly meant. Did he mean something like the animal is going to tear them apart or something? That sounds very fierce. Or did he mean something like smell? Like the animals can understand and identify people by their smells. Is it something like that?

Katie seemed to have heard it too and th

I don't generally mention typos nowadays but the spelling of Kate's name has an extra i

Well, now we have ourselves another cliffhanger sort of thing. The description of the creature was really wonderful and I do wonder how hilarioud it is going to look. It's after all from alien planet. Okay, so I just hope that whatever animal it is, will not be of any harm to them and they will be able to escape successfully.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

He meant the animal is going to eat them...but he accidentally made it sound like they were going to eat the animal :D



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Thu Nov 18, 2021 8:09 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

Wow...its going to take me a while to catch up.

This was an interesting continuation of the story. For the first time we understand the true stakes in the jungle of doom. The entire place seems to be boobytrapped with all kind of creatures and plants. The descriptions made me wonder if some of them were created in a lab. The aliens seem like the type who wouldn't give up on any possibility of creating more horrific creatures and considering that their strong point is in the planning and plotting, a lab seems like the best place where they would feel comfortable.

Now that we have an idea of what exactly they are up against, I cannot understand how they thought that reading information about these creatures in a document would be enough to get them out of there in one piece. Whatever they are running from currently seems terrifying enough, I cannot imagine what else is hiding in the forest. On a plus point, I believe they still have their guns with them. So at least they have something they can fight back with.

I liked the tension that was constant throughout the chapter. I could feel Dais's apprehension and the risky balance their lives are currently hanging on. You portrayed the emotions very well, and created a very intense atmosphere. The light humor present with Harry's dialogue was also very appreciated. It did not distract us from what was happening right then, but it still made us smile despite it all. Again, I noticed a couple of typos here and there but those are mostly harmless.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D




If you can't get out of your comfort zone, you'll never find what you're looking for. Don't make things quick and easy to feel better short term. Make a change and then you'll feel better longer term.
— Frinderman