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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 19.1

by KateHardy


Chapter 19

The Hike Part 1: The Forest of Doom

[Daisy]

The first part of the forest seemed startlingly easy to navigate. Daisy, however, knew better than to let her guard down from that. This entire forest and the very few pathways that ran along it were designed specifically to trap any humans that made their way out of the inner wall. It was a system that until this point had a hundred percent success rate….well still had a hundred percent success rate. They had only just entered and it was already creeping Daisy out entirely too much with just the atmosphere that seemed to envelop it. She couldn't shake the feeling of being watched.

From all the information they'd gotten off of the drone, they knew there was only one truly safe path and that was a giant tunnel through which all of the supplies for the prison came in. There were other small pathways built leading out from each door but they were all dummy pathways. As much as they were designed to look safe with their tall fences and lights, Mrs. Kane had reported that the seemingly innocent trees lining them were very much capable of snacking on a stray human. Mr. Summers had even theorized that the fences and lights were designed to retract at a moment’s notice although they hadn’t found a way to actually confirm that particular theory.

The one thing that was very clear from the very first step into the forest was that it was definitely not from anywhere near Earth, or at least it didn't come close to matching what they were taught in school. Daisy had never actually seen an Earth tree either so there was just no telling what these truly were.

One thing was immediately apparent and that was the lack of even a single patch of green, the whole forest stuck out in bright reds, blues and purples. It could almost be beautiful if it wasn’t so deadly. Daisy could see how a set of humans who had never seen a tree before and being unaware of the dangers could be easily drawn into them and disposed of like the part of '06 had been.

Then it happened. 

A massive clang behind them. The sound of the door being shut. It was the very last indicator that their plan was now truly irreversible under all circumstances. There would be no getting back in. Clearly the aliens had abandoned whatever chase had been planned and they were now going to use the forest to get rid of them much like they had during the '06 escape. Daisy allowed herself a smile. An impossible task lay ahead of them, but the aliens had at least played their part perfectly by falling to the trap of relying on the forest to take them out. They would have no idea of the advance knowledge the five of them had. If they survived, they could very well sneak out of her undetected and the aliens would simply assume they had perished in the forest. Its not like any of these plants or animals left bodies to find.

Their earlier theory then suddenly decided it was time to confirm itself as the fences around them began to recede, opening them up to the full scope of the forest, complete with all of the creatures that lay in wait. And then just because all of that wasn’t enough, the lights immediately shut off as well, plunging them into near pitch blackness. Luckily the moonlight above them was fairly bright and it pierced the canopy of the trees just enough for them to see a few feet in front of them. After running around so many dark tunnels, this might as well have been broad daylight.

“Stay close to me and keep a very close eye on either side of you,” advised Aria, “remember what was in that document and we can make our way out of this alive. We just have to follow the path to that one tree and the make the correct turn and we should hopefully come out of the other side rather than getting lost in the middle. The creatures of course, we have to take our chances. Whatever you do, do not lose sight of each other or this forest will win this fight.”

Daisy nodded along with the others as they huddled together closer. That was going to be another problem. The paths here, in addition to being very dangerous, were also designed to lead them deep into the center of the forest and not towards an exit. The Carpathians definitely didn’t cut corners when it came to things like that.

The maintained a relatively brisk pace as they half walked, half jogged along the path, doing their best to go as fast as the light level would allow. The first parts of the path were relatively smooth and easy to travel.

The suddenly it started to give way to more overgrown sections where a step in the wrong place might send them all tumbling to the ground and potentially to certain death. They slowed down to a fast walk. Daisy walked along between Harry and Aria, holding tightly onto Harry, not wanting to lose his warmth in this dark forest. The feeling of being watched had only increased over time and things were also starting to get cold as the night entered its darkest phases in the early hours of the morning.


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Sat Nov 20, 2021 10:08 am
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

You get off to an interesting and exciting start, but I can't help but feel that the whole thing seems a bit strange in terms of its structure.

Let's start by saying that I like the chapter so far and you definitely create the atmosphere from one point to the next with this part. I like that change from an interior to a gloomy forest and you manage to represent that very well. But I also found, especially in the quoted section below, that it felt a bit like it was told by an over-narrator.

The first part of the forest seemed startlingly easy to navigate. Daisy, however, knew better than to let her guard down from that. This entire forest and the very few pathways that ran along it were designed specifically to trap any humans that made their way out of the inner wall. It was a system that until this point had a hundred percent success rate….


This is where the part starts and I got a little lost in it when I realised that we were now being told from Daisy's POV, but it didn't come across as that directly, but rather superficially. You didn't really feel her emotions or thoughts directly here, but it seemed to me as if it was more of a kind of "documentary" where Daisy is just the person being observed.

That behaves a bit constant here in this part, sometimes more or less. I don't know if that's an artistic device you wanted to use, but I find it a bit strange to read when it switches back and forth from direction like that.

On the other hand, I liked the part because it brings in a new wind and deals with the development of the plot. But I also felt a bit lonely because we got to know so little about the others. As I said, if it's an artistic device, it's good, but I find it a bit strangely constructed. :D

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Hmm...that certainly wasn't a conscious choice...I guess it just naturally slipped to a more narrator like vibe...I'll have to fix that eventually. :D



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Wed Nov 17, 2021 5:03 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

I guess their escape isn't really over then. They seem to have another journey ahead of them, but they are quite confident this time. I like how you have maintained the tension throughout the part, building it again after the slight resolution we reached after the ending of the previous chapter.

I liked the short descriptions you included in this part. This forest does not seem very normal. The fact that there are no green trees and they are still managing to breathe somehow makes me wonder if they are on a different planet altogether. Even if this story is set several decades into the future, I don't think we are going to find a replacement for oxygen anytime soon. It will be interesting to see what explanation you come up for this. It does add to the mystery of the place and makes us wonder where exactly they are and where they are going to go from here.

It seems that they have already received a detailed document on this forest. They seemed confident that they will get through it somehow and I guess that is one big advantage over the 06' rescue team. The one thing they can't really control here is the creatures of the forest. The entire mention of them seemed a little ambiguous and I am wondering now if the animals of that century have evolved as well.

Throughout the story, the 06' escape attempt has been mentioned heavily, and I would love to find out what that was all about one day. Overall, this was a good continuation of the story. There were a few typos in this part, for example, 'then' was often missing the 'n' in it, but otherwise, good work!

Keep writing and have a great day!




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



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Mon Nov 15, 2021 4:55 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

This was a relatively calmer part. As far as I interpreted it correctly, this seemed like an easy journey . And that actually makes me think that the next part of the forest might be a very tough one. If I am not wrong, someone or rather something is actually watching them. I am not sure how but I do suspect the presence of some extraordinary and advanced technology that is unknown to humankind. And if that's true, they are not going to have a great time.

I love the eerie feeling that has been dominating the atmosphere of the story for quite some time now. Like the characters, the readers too can't get rid of that feeling. So the theories were definitely very possible theories and we kinda got their confirmation letters too from the one about whom the theories were theorised.

This forest perhaps was just like a normal planet beloning from the planet on which the aliens lived. Oh my god! No trees at all. How have they survived so long then? I don't know but we did get a mention of the increase of oxygen in the atmosphere, I guess. How did that happen? Technology and chemical reactions or something of that sort? Seems like.

The aliens either did a very stupid plan or they set a good sorr of planned trap there. Though unsure, I have never taken the aliens as creatures who would just leave everything and would not keep any watch on them. Something is definitely wrong here and I am afraid the humans are not understanding it.

Okay so how exactly do the carpathians travel through all these? Or do they by any chance use sone sort of planes or something to travel? I guess it will continue to be a mystery in book 1 and will remain unanswered until book 2 or maybe book 3 or maybe forever. Who knows. Some theories are never answered. They have to made. Is there really anything between Harry and Daisy as Aria used to tease them?
(I guess I will get to the next part not before the next week. Let's see.)
Keep Writing!!

~Forever




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D

That should get explained sooner or later..the oxygen thing. As for that one....may not...maybe yes...who knows...





You know!



KateHardy says...


*Cackles into the distance*




Once here on Young Writers Society, in chat, chickens wanted variety. They complained to Nate and after debate became funky orangutans silently.
— Mea