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Young Writers Society


12+

Survival: The Escape, Chapter 18.2

by KateHardy


“What was that?” hissed Harry as the five of them slid to a stop in front of the door.

“If I’m not mistaken, that was probably a distraction,” said Kate, her voice small but steady. “I think they are trying to help us leave.”

“What on Earth could they have done to cause that big of a distraction?” asked Daisy, worry lacing her voice.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t do anything rash,” said Harry, “now come on, they wouldn’t want us to waste our time worrying about them, they’d want us to focus only on getting out of here.”

“He’s right,” said Aria as the doors, surprisingly swung open. Clamping down on her own icy fear, she took a step inside. “It doesn’t appear to have any booby traps. Come on, no time for chitchat.”

Daisy nodded as Ryan and Kate followed Aria in. Harry and Daisy brought up the rear, Harry walking backwards as he swept the area for any signs of approaching guards. He spotted something and fired quickly, the projectiles burning a hole through the glass door as it swung shut beside him.

“Run,” he shouted.

No one needed to be told twice.

The five of them barreled down the glass hallway, Aria in the lead. Aria was suddenly hit with the realization that this would be the last time they walked down this hallway. Either they would get out or be vaporized as punishment for killing the guards. There was definitely a kill on sight order out for them by now.

The thought should have frightened her, should have built on her long held belief that no one would be making it out of this place alive except it was different now. She had four others depending on her now, she was a leader, and she had to guide them as well as she could. She’d promised to her mother and if there was one thing Ariana Kane would never do, it was break a promise. The thought that this was her last time in this hallway was suddenly very liberating, they were, going to be free after this, one way or another.

They thundered towards the now familiar set of sliding glass doors. They couldn’t open fast enough. Soon, the five of them were barreling out and around the wreckage of the ship, headed for the door that would hopefully be taking them out of the inner wall.

They came to a halt in front of the door. Aria had stolen many glances at it as they worked the final few shifts on the night before. Now she allowed herself to take a long look at it for the first time. It was time for the damn thing to be opened.

And somehow, Mr. Summers and his team seemed to have been listening. Just as they were about to ready their rifles in a last ditch effort to blast their way out, the door began to open. It was a truly strange sight, something that no human that was currently alive had ever been allowed to see.

The door, unlike what Aria had imagined, didn’t simply swing open. The outer corners swung open, creating four small holes. For a few terrifying seconds it looked like that all that would happen, and then suddenly the remaining pieces of the door split into four equal parts, sliding into the four sides of the door frame. The door was finally open. They were finally free of the inner wall.

The five of them stepped outside, taking a moment to savor the monumental occasion despite the fact that there were guards actively bearing down on them. The forest stood before them. It looked much larger now that it was actually in front of them and not just a small image in the tiny camera of their makeshift drone. This could potentially be the hardest bit of their escape.

Aria looked at each of them in turn. They were all as ready as they were ever going to be. With the sounds of the guards getting ever closer, the five of them plunged into the dark forest, running among trees for the very first time in their short lives.


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Mon Nov 15, 2021 7:14 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

This was an extremely intense ending to the chapter. I was hooked throughout, and I think you have done a wonderful job of keeping your readers invested in this world and the characters. I liked how action-driven this part. A lot of things happened in a very small span of time, and yet you did not ignore the emotional aspect of this monumental change in their lives. I am also very glad of the fact that you chose Aria's POV for the actual escape. From the beginning of the story, we have seen Aria to be the most pessimistic one. She never really believed that they would be able to escape, and was rather hopeless about the situation. That is why her realization in this part that it was probably the last time they were going to walk through that hallway had such an impact on, well me, at least.

Despite the magnitude of this escape, I like how she did not sway with her emotions in that moment. She was aware of the responsibilities that had been trusted upon her and in the moment of risk, she let her determination and her will to guide the others to safety. She really is a wonderful leader, and I genuinely enjoy seeing her take charge.

The technology for the door seemed extremely impressive. I was a little curios though. It seemed to open suddenly for them. I don't really think that was Mr. Summers, because if her had been able to do that, shouldn't they have made this escape earlier. I am not very sure about that part and what actually happened.

Finally they make their escape. I don't know how free they are right now, considering that they can send guards into the forest as well. But, this was a great feat for them, and I loved how intense the ending to the chapter was. Now, I can actually feel the story heading towards its finale, and I am excited to see what happens next.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D

Yes the door...opens because of a slight weak point in the system caused by that crash, so Mr. Summers and his team have temporary control of that door and a few security cameras that are close to it.



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Sun Nov 14, 2021 4:53 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

A saw it coming... I did expect something like this to happen. Well, so it seems like Mr. Summer's team did something to distract the aliens and they successfully escaped from the camp. The people who distracted the aliens are seriously in trouble. If I am not much mistaken, they are going to die. Like they can't really run and escape from the aliens where everything in the place seems to be in favour of the aliens. This part did a great job at portraying the understanding and the renunciation of the humans. Those who distracted the aliens actually sacrificed their life. I can't see the slightest chance of survival. However, one thing I can see is this was not the core team. I guess this was the other team they had thought of forming. Like Mr. Summers was probably in the responsibility of controlling the systems and helping the team to make their way through all the gates. The CCTVs were of some help, I guess.

Luck is totally playing in their side. I don't know how they really managed to open the doors. There was indeed some sort of plan. Seems like I have forgotten what it was if you mentioned what it was. Hacking the system or something like that? Probably.

In this part, we saw another side of Aria. I mean from her own POV. We got to see all these from others' POVs so it was nothing very new but seeing someone from their own POV is definitely something very interesting.

Distraction is definitely a weak point of the aliens. Ah, that brought their end. Anyway, the opening of the door was quite an interesting sight. Surprisingly enough, I could imagine the sight. I have extreme difficulty at imagining things I just had a little question, what exactly did the aliens use to go outside. They, of course, went outside. If there's perfectly no other opening at all, the aliens used the main door. Taking that into account, it's a bit strange that no one has ever succeeded to take a look outside.

Okay, one big part of their escape is over now. This part was a thrilling read. Andd slowly we approach the final part of their escape and also the final part of this book. We have come so far!

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Yeah they took control of the system for a little bit there :D

Hmm...well the fate of Mr. Summers and everyone else is going to remain unanswered till book 3



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Sat Nov 13, 2021 10:05 am
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice back with a short review for the new chapter! :D

If the first part was awash with seeing Aria in her old self, in this part we enter a kind of second round. I think we have now reached a break in the story where the next phase can be initiated, after we have already seen a lot in the previous chapters, but now something new is in front of them again.

The descriptions and narration in this part give us the eerie feeling that we are only at the beginning of a long series of losses and it doesn't necessarily get better with the narration and how with every sentence a kind of subconscious fear spreads through me. I mean, there's a reason this chapter is so short, so as not to create a kind of tension, isn't there?

In general, I think this chapter is good. It has a good split between "Finally a short break" and "Here we go" :D That's what I also liked about how you described those two sides. At first a kind of despair that turns into hope and optimism, but is immediately minimised by the second half. A very exceptional chapter! :D

Other points I noticed while reading:

The thought should have frightened her, should have built on her long held belief that no one would be making it out of this place alive except it was different now.

I like the way you start the sentence here and come in with the repetition of "should have", but it doesn't end in that effect I came into this sentence with.

With the sounds of the guards getting ever closer, the five of them plunged into the dark forest, running among trees for the very first time in their short lives.

Oh, I don't even like how this chapter ends here and how it starts off like a gloomy forshadowing for me....

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D




they say money can't buy happiness, but what they don't realize is that money *can* buy novelty socks.
— blueca