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Young Writers Society


12+

Survival: The Escape, Chapter 17.5

by KateHardy


“I know you guys are probably very tired, but we’re going to have to move as fast as possible,” said Aria, “once in the forest, we might be able to catch a break but not right now.”

“Understood,” said Kate, “Don’t worry, I can keep going for long enough. Hopefully.”

“Let’s move then,” said Aria.

Harry tightened the grip on his weapon. Let’s do this.

“For Earth!” said Harry, raising his voice a little now that they knew for certain the aliens weren't anywhere earby.

“For Earth!” echoed the rest of them in a half cheer, half whisper. The five of them charged up the corridor.

They half jogged, half ran all the way to the top of the passageway, huffing and puffing with the added weight of the rifles not exactly helping matters with their already aching legs.

They arrived at the fallen door. There were large claw marks all across it leaving deep gouges.They had certainly been in a very bad mood on the way down. The lights in the corridor were on, at maximum brightness like they’d been earlier.

“We take five,” said a panting Aria, “just to get used to this brightness or we might as well be running blind.”

Harry collapsed against the wall with a sigh, letting himself slowly slide down to the floor. Even with his stamina, it was getting harder to keep going. Luckily the gate wasn’t too far away from here. If we can even get to it.

The next few minutes passed in silence. Aria and Harry kept a close eye on the corridor in case any guards were coming that way. Kate reasoned from what she’d looked up that the guards would only take at most two minutes to get a message through and maybe another five before backup would arrive. It wasn’t going to be long before the place would be swarming with them. Harry hoped that Mr. Summers and the rest of that gang hadn't been caught with all this chaos spreading through the camp. On one hand, he'd love some help from them but he'd much rather get caught than have all of them caught working to help them escape.

Finally, Aria got up and gestured towards the corridor.

“It’s still clear, let’s get going now. I think that’s enough time.”

“No,” mumbled Kate from next to Harry. Aria didn’t seem to hear as she gestured for them to get up. Harry got to his feet quickly, trying not to fall over because of the awkward weight of the rifle. After helping Kate and Daisy up, they were once again ready to move.

They set off, heading into the light this time. Aria didn’t bother to hug the walls this time, taking them right down the center as she walked with purpose. Harry was strongly reminded of his mother’s walk from earlier when she’d gone off to inform Alex and the rest about the damage on the door.

Smiling at the thought, Harry picked up the pace as Aria broke into a quick jog as they neared The Hub. It was an entirely different sight than what they’d ever seen before.

The lights in The Hub were all tinted a harsh red. Orange lights were blinking all along the walls. The shrieking noise had stopped which meant that everyone had probably already been notified. It wasn’t looking particularly good for them and the feeling in Harry's stomach got worse.

“Am I the only one that thinks the lack of guards so far is a bad thing?” asked Kate.

“You’re definitely not alone Kate,” said Harry, “I don’t like this either.”

“Of course. We can be essentially a hundred percent sure that they’ve set a trap for us but then what choice do we have at this point,” said Aria, “come on, the faster we get to that gate, the higher our chances of pulling this off successfully.”

“As much as I hate to admit it, that really is all we can do,” said Ryan.

“Well, we promised this would not be a repeat of ’06, so let’s try and keep that promise,” said Daisy.

“Amen to that,” said Harry.

“Ancient Earth phrases for the win,” said Kate, cracking a slight smile before raising her eyebrows at their shocked faces. “What? It’s either freak out and cry or laugh. I think laughing is the superior choice. Like Ryan said. What else can we possibly do? We do this or we die trying.”


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Sat Nov 13, 2021 7:39 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

Someday very soon, I am going to catch up to this story. I promise!

So, we are at the end of chapter 17. I cannot believe how far we have come. I think its great the way you have managed to keep us invested in the story and its character throughout the entire journey, and even though we are not quite at the end yet, I can say that this has been a really exciting ride.

Now, I really enjoyed reading this part. It had all the emotional elements balanced perfectly with plot developments to make it into a great chapter ending. This did not even require a cliffhanger to keep us coming back for more, we will be automatically drawn to it because of the characters and their story. I really liked the bit of quiet we got to experience in this part. It makes us know that the story is not just about the escape. Its about these people too.

Now, we got a feeling of foreshadowing in the previous part, with Harry noticing that the aliens have been quiet for too long. That feeling extends to this part, as we wonder when the other shoe is going to drop. Because I have realized your love for cliffhangers and plot twists, I get the feeling that you must have something major planned for the ending. And now, I kind of keep expecting a swarm of aliens to close in on them at every corner.

I also enjoyed the small interactions in this part. Somewhere along the rush of the escape, these people have grown more closer to each other and you can actually see that in the easy way they now converse with each other. I really liked the part where Harry was comparing Aria's walk to his mother's when she was on a mission. The brother-sister bond between them is what had initially drawn me to this story, and I thought it was a really sweet moment that made me smile.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



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Sat Nov 13, 2021 9:46 am
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice here with a final short review for this chapter! :D

We are coming to an end with this chapter. From that point of view, I like chapter 17 very much because it has two extremes. I was a bit intimidated at the beginning when I started reading, and only realised that increasingly with each new part, the pace increased and you could see more and more of the characters. The emotional journey that brought them to the top and now to "freedom" for a while made me feel like I was always in a chase, which made it feel like we were briefly in some kind of horror scenario.

I find the build-up very good in the meantime, I was still a bit sceptical about it at the beginning, but I think that this connection, which only developed with each new part, is a good build-up for the tension. In general, I find the development so far interesting and great and am very curious to see how it will continue. (For example, I would have noticed that directly if I had only read each part separately).

In summary, the chapter had its ups and downs, but in general, the ups definitely had a better sheen to them than the downs. I really like having this "interaction" in front of me, rather than always going up before going all the way down, like a rollercoaster.

One other point I noticed while reading:

They arrived at the fallen door. There were large claw marks all across it leaving deep gouges.They had certainly been in a very bad mood on the way down.

You repeat yourself a bit too often here with the sentence beginnings and the "they". I would just look to rewrite that briefly.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



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Fri Nov 12, 2021 4:52 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a tiny review

Wow. A few chapters more. Let's get into the review now. They are so so hopeful to reach the forest going through the main gate where I can't even see the slightest possibility of them breaking through the main door. There are two options though. The other group helping them out through, uh, maybe distractions of some kind(the aliens are easily distracted, we have seen this earlier) and the other one is their guns piercing whatever material the door is made up of. That was one of the most recent guns of humanity, after all, if not the most recent one. Let's hope one of these works. Otherwise, something new. Quite excited to see how they make through all these problems.

Okay, the colour of light was quite a good detail. I didn't really imagine the colour of the lights as red until this very point. I had always imagined them as white and now I do understand why the lights feel even more blinding. Red lights are really... The worst. I don't know if it was intended but the colour red adds to the cruelty of the aliens. I mean red is sometimes consider a colour of cruelty and danger. Pure danger is waiting for them, quite sure.

If the aliens come with their weapons and everything, it will be a tough fight but I am strongly hoping Mr. Summers team will stop them from doibg that. Why do I always see someone's death coming very soon? Okay, I always have one feeling that the future of the Earth(as described in this story) is kind of going to be like the past of Earth. The technology and everything will of course, improve but well, it is what it is. I have zero idea about the wight of the gun but I do have a notion that the weight of these guns are heavier than the present ones. Going back to the past.

Quite some change in Kate's character or rather let's say some true manifestation of her inner spirit. We saw her as a person who was kind of afraid and unsure of what they were doing but now she seems to have gained enough confidence to pull it through. This is not quite unnatural when death is knocking at the door, though. Ryan is becoming a background character in all these dialogues, maybe he simply doesn't like talking much. Who knows. We have seen him in the action scenes, though. Hm... A solemn person. Actually he isn't

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



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Thu Nov 11, 2021 4:15 pm
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ForeverYoung299 says...



Hey! You have done a great job of putting this in TSOH folder! Congratulations!




KateHardy says...


Whoops....thank you for the heads up :D




Nobody wants to see the village of the happy people.
— Lew Hunter