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Young Writers Society


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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 15.1

by KateHardy


Chapter 15

Is That Supposed to be Part of the Plan?

[Aria]

Aria found her tools slipping from her hand as she worked on the last bit of the day's work work. She was still feeling strangely lost, a feeling that had been a constant companion since the previous night. Today was a day that she'd truly never thought would come and yet here she was, waking up to a day where the were going to attempt an escape, and she of all people would be leading the charge. She was far from convinced that things would work out perfectly, but she had to admit that her mother and the rest of them had worked out a very foolproof plan. She ran the events of the night  before in her head once again.

*******

"To..to..tomorrow," stuttered Harry, eyes wide with shock.

Aria herself couldn't utter a word. Sure they'd been told that there was a very real possibility that tomorrow was the day, but to see it actually happen was something else entirely. If the dampness around their mother's eyes was anything to go by, it didn't look like she'd quite realized the magnitude either.

"Yes," said Mrs. Kane, "look, I know you guys are going to want to process this in a minute, but let's all try and put aside our emotions for a second and get through this quickly. A decision has been made and we can't delay it any longer than tomorrow night." She moved to dab her eyes with a small tissue before giving them both a pleading look.

Aria and Harry exchanged a look and a silent pact passed between them and they turned to face their mother with a determined expression and a nod.

*******

Their mother had quickly pointed out the route that they would have to follow, mostly glossing over it. As their mother had said, it was pretty self explanatory, and Harry had probably already memorized it by now. It wouldn't be too hard for Aria with his help to lead the rest of their little group out towards the outer wall. The difficult part would be finding a time to discuss all of this with the other three.

Aria had tried to point out why doing all of this so fast would be a terrible idea but her mother's reasoning was sound as always. The data that they'd managed to siphon in the mission run by the tech team behind the escape couldn't be allowed to sit for more than a day or else the data codes would give them away before they had a chance to get out. They'd only discovered that once the data had been acquired which had been the cause of the unusually short notice that had caught all of them by surprise.

As Aria mechanically moved about her task, she remembered the next bit of shocking news that had been delivered along with the small device currently tucked securely into one of her pockets. A rather fragile device that held humanity's one last hope.

*******

"Okay, that's the route out. It's not too important. All five of you are very smart kids. You won't have much trouble there. This," began Mrs. Kane, presenting Aria with the long thing device," is where things get a bit more complicated."

Aria had simply nodded, allowing her mother to continue.

"Let's all be honest, getting outside is one thing, but all it really accomplishes is putting the five of you in arguably more danger with no real payoff unless there is a way for us to try and fully free ourselves," said Mrs. Kane.

Aria nodded. She'd refrained from acknowledging that earlier at the meeting, but it felt good to have her mother actually acknowledge that rather large elephant in the room.

"Well, this time why we're all so excited about this is because we have a plan finally," said Mrs. Kane, "we actually had one in the works for a long time but we had not enough evidence to act on it, but that pod that crashed. It changes everything. Do you know what the designation MWSC stands for?"

Harry shook his head. "Milky Way something, but that's all I managed to think of."

"It stands for Milky Way Space Cruiser," she began, "and The Rainbow is a very particular kind of space cruiser, designed and built on Earth."

"What?" said both siblings at once.

"There's more than one Earth," began Mrs. Kane.

*******

The conversation that had followed had been hands down the craziest one Aria had ever had in her short life.

The torch in her hand sparked and Aria was pulled away from her thoughts on the events of last night. She tried to focus on the task at hand. The last thing I will ever do for them. The gravity of that statement was getting ever more powerful as the clock ticked down to the last moments to their plan. In a few short minutes, they'd finish their shift and go meet the other two where this route would be discussed. Then in less than an hour considering depending on how long it would take to finish that discussion, they'd be on their way out. Aria and Harry had already told Daisy about the GPS device currently in her pocket, but they'd decided not to waste time explaining all of that to Kate and Ryan just yet. That plan could be discussed if they made it out. There was no point wasting time on that until they were outside and said plan was viable.


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Sat Oct 30, 2021 10:51 am
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

It's a good mix to open the chapter. Not only do we have Aria's POV again but through her gaze we also get a neutral and rather hesitant view of the events and the flashback, as if we were following Harry here.

I like how you've written the part here in a very good build up where you can quickly tell what is a memory and what isn't. I like that it seems careful and especially that it's also fitting to open the chapter with a sort of "summary" than to go straight on now after the longer chapter 14. I like that much more the cliffhanger you presented.

I noticed that Mrs. Kane in particular manages to see the worry and preparations in a clear light and to bring Harry's anticipation (as he appropriately put it, the best night of his life) down a bit and also to show that it won't be so harmless.

For so far I have the impression that we see a lot of how it goes right without any difficulties and that is what I hoped would come in this chapter. Theory does turn into practice, but there are other problems that come in between that complicate everything a bit.

I liked this part, as a very quiet build up into the next stage. Aria serves there very well, that we have the more level-headed of the two Kane siblings before us. Her thoughts are comprehensible and described in such a way that as a reader you do get a queasy and uneasy feeling about what is to come. I think this change in tone is well done and fitting after Harry's POV.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



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Wed Oct 27, 2021 10:19 am
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!

There was a great change in the tone and the style of the story. It was a bit depressing, at least to me. I don't know but I do think that Aria is not the most excited, I mean she is not exhilarated about the mission. Even if she was, emotions have taken over all her excitement. Though we haven't seen it very clearly, I do have an idea which is quite clear that Aria loved her mother, i.e., Mrs. Kane. Seems like they will not be able to see their father even once before leaving. As they don't see their father often, maybe they don't have very much emotions towards him but still he is their father and I do expect a person to have some feelings towards their father even if they have not seen their father for days. Maybe include one or two lines in which Aria wonders about her father. Also, I still get a sense of mystery regarding him. We knew from Harry's POV all about him. I wonder if something more is there.

I liked how Aria became veryy thoughtful here and wasn't very concerned about her surroundings. Like she was in the working area, I guess where both Harry and Daisy were there. We didn't get the description of them very much, so, I think she didn't notice them. Ah, we missed what they were thinking at that moment. If I am not wrong, it was a very much surprise to Daisy when she heard about the escape and it will be the most surprising to the other two. It's because they will not be ready for it at all. The siblings, after all got some time to prepare themselves after Mrs. Kane revealed it.

Oooh that was a GPS device. I mean the sleek rod? If yes, seems like the gps has undergone sone changes over the years. From what google said, that gps doesn't look like the present one. Anyway, that would actually be of quite some help, provided they the humanity will be able to monitor them in the very dangerous outside world. And now I am wondering why they really attempted to do this mission. I am becoming pessimistic, I guess. Life would be far more dangerous there. At least in the camp, the aliens didn't kill people without reasons.

The existence of more than one Earth is quite an interesting thing. Idk what the term 'Earth' actually refers to here. Maybe it refers to another portion if Earth, a peaceful one or something like that. I don't really think that some other planets would be named Earth even though it has thousands of similarities with Earth or is that the case? Who knows. :D A big mystery.

And now time to execute!!! Best of luck quintet! The story has taken a completely different turn.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Hmm...yes the GPS and the "other Earth" all will get a tiny bit more information in the very last chapter, but its all mostly setting things up for the second book. :D



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Mon Oct 25, 2021 9:19 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

Wow...things took a really different turn here, and as warned beforehand, I have tightened my seatbelts on!

First things first, I liked how you went off the usual pattern of the story and included flashbacks in this part. In my eyes it accomplished two things - one, it moved the plot along with the initial twists and turns just like usual, and second, at the same time we got to hear Aria's thoughts after she had reflected and thought about these twists and turns. So we get to experience the thrill as well as the calm rationale which is required during this mission.

I have to say even though we had been given the warning before, I was still a little surprised by how quickly this came about. The plot is only going to move forward from here on and I am really excited to see where you take this. I am also a little curios to know if anyone has informed Ryan and Kate about these latest developments. Considering that they leave the very next day, they don't have much time with them.

Now comes the next big twist in the story - the existence of other Earths. I had to take a minute to process that but now I wonder what it really means. Does she mean that there are other planets that support human existence? I feel that we can think and build theories about this, but unless we learn more about what exactly is going on, there is no other way to be sure.

There quite a few typos in the beginning of the chapter. I will point some out for you.

as she worked on the last bit of the day's work work.

'Work' has been repeated twice here. I am sure Aria does not need to worry about so much work now that the mission has officially started.

a day where the were going to attempt an escape,

'the' will be 'they'.

This was a really promising start to the chapter.

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

The other earths twist is basically the teaser for book 2...it all will make sense then, for now I hinted at that plan through this flashback, but it will take centerstage only in book 2 where that full conversation will be revealed :D




I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
— Chandler Bing