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Young Writers Society


12+

Survival: The Escape, Chapter 14.3

by KateHardy


Kate nodded and the three of them made their way back into The Hub. Near the entrance to that led off towards the crashed ship, Harry could see Aria and a boy that he recognized as Ryan. We’re all here. Looks like this is definitely happening.

"Ah you two managed to find Kathryn," said Aria," I was beginning to get worried."

"We didn't take that long," said Daisy, frowning.

"Well we found each other and that's what matters," said Harry, jumping in, not wanting to delay their mission any longer," now that the five of us are here, let's get started, shall we?"

"Yes," said Ryan," we can't afford to waste time today. With luck tomorrow might as well be the day depending on how well the others pull off their end of the plan."

"Correct," said Aria," so uhh...where do we start?"

"I think maybe you guys could show us where this spaceship is. The two of us don't quite know the way. We've heard things of of course, but we haven't really been able to come this even, not even with the...incident," said Kate, grimacing as she said the last part. Ryan nodded to confirm that was true.

"Ohh, I thought everyone must've come this way at some point," said Aria, palm on her forehead," alright follow me, make sure not to lose sight of one another at any point. Hold onto someone if you’re not sure you can keep up."

The five of them set off in the direction that they had come in. Harry stayed at the back, Daisy by his side. Ryan and Kate walked in line behind Aria. It was much faster going than Harry had anticipated with Ryan and Kate. For people who can’t hadn't ever walked that path, they didn’t seem hesitant to go down the darkened hallways.

Before long they arrived at the corridor that led to the sliding glass doors that opened out to the door.

“The door is through here?” asked Ryan.

“Yup, there’s another set of doors which leads to this grassy area and the door is right there, of course now there is also the big empty hull of a spaceship in the middle of all of that,” said Aria.

“Okay, well that was a shorter walk than I thought it was going to be,” said Kate, “and darker.”

“Definitely is super dark,” said Daisy, nodding along,” I’m still not used to it even though it's been like a week or something.”

“It’ll help us out in the long run, they won’t be able to see a damn thing down here if they don’t bring a light,” said Ryan, “could give us a few extra seconds when we need it most. They might have four eyes but their night vision is garbage.”

“Yeah,” said Harry, “well, we’re definitely running down this path soon enough so you guys memorize this as much as possible. It could be as early as tomorrow.”

“Did that,” said Kate, “it’s not that bad.”

“And I will have it memorized on the way back,” said Ryan, with a nod.

“Perfect,” said Aria. “Why don’t we go back then? No point spending any more time down here. The guards for one of the other gates might wander over.”

“Right, let’s get out of here. We still have to figure out a route to the Hub,” said Harry. With that they made their way back to the Hub and immediately slipped into the hallway leading off to Kate’s quarters.

“Alright, let’s begin then,” said Aria, “first question, I believe is, how easy is to get from your quarters to our hall, through an outer passageway.”

“Pretty easy for me,” said Kathryn, “although time consuming. I think there’s a tunnel somewhere near this room I work near. It's a long story but the bottom line is that it will definitely work, as long as I leave well in advance of the time you guys show up, which well, if its my last day of camp, I can get off early.”

“Ryan?” asked Aria.

“As far as I know, there isn’t something to really connect our halls, I think I would have to walk around a few dicey neighborhoods to get there. Unfortunately my quarters and work area are very far out. It is block Z after all, I believe it is actually the farthest corner of camp in that direction..”

“Okay, scratch that, how easy would it be for us to get there?” Aria turned to Harry and Daisy.

Harry scratched his head, racking his brains for what he’d learnt of the layout. As far as he knew, there wasn’t a safe route.

“Um, again would be kind of dangerous. Z block is just way too out there to avoid running into potential danger zones,” said Harry, “I don’t think either of those will work. We can try but over that distance, there simply aren't enough safe zones."

“Kate, your hall?” said Aria.

“Well, my Hall is a little too dangerous at that time of day. No one working at night in our section,' said Kate," we're the day shift crew for the most part."

“Yeah, I know. So that obviously rules out all three halls,” said Aria, “no point even considering that then. Anyone know any other passages?"

“Well, I know another passageway. It starts near the library closer to where I am, but it ends at K and also links to X. It could maybe work,” said Kate, “It's man-made so aliens wouldn't know of it, it's currently used to smuggle in books from storage to run the school. You guys can get to K right?  Ryan, is X too far out?”

“I think I can make that work,” said Ryan, “if you can show me where to go. I knew the library was run with some tunnels like that, I never knew we had one that close.”

"That's one of the most recent tunnels. We build it after we discovered a old human storage unit below block Y," said Kate, a proud smile on her face, "Sam and I helped design it."

“Sam as in Samantha?” asked Harry, eyes wide. He'd known that Kate was very good at what they did, but he'd never imagined she was quite at that level. 

Kate nodded.

"Wow," said Harry, trying not to be too loud,"that is insane."

"We don't have time for fangirling Harry," said Aria, cutting in. Harry could hear her eyes rolling with her tone. "And to answer your question Kate, yes, I think we can get to K even on the normal route, but I'm sure mom knows a place or two. She sent us through J recently. That was an interesting night.

"Perfect," said Kate, "I think I can show you guys how to open it and all tonight, we can probably go all the way to X so that Ryan can also mark that down."

Yeah, sure,” said Daisy, speaking up. She’d been quiet through most of their conversation. Harry figured it was probably the darkness that was getting to her. Or at least he hoped it was. He was going to have to ask her when they were at the hall.

“Alright then, this tunnel looks set,” said Aria," that's good. Let's not overcomplicate thing and stick to that as the meeting point. So this passageway I assume has a third exit that comes out near the library which is where you will be?"

"Yes," said Kate.

"So we can all meet there," said Aria, "its close enough to the Hub, I definitely know how to reach it from The Hub so going the other way should be doable. Ryan?"

"I'll have a lot of memorizing to do," said Ryan, "but I'm confident I can."

“Well it's a pretty short walk from the library to The Hub, I mean the tunnel won't be an issue right. How hard can it be besides the opening sequence?” said Harry, “aren’t you just supposed to know where it starts then just walk to the end?”

“This one is a little more complicated than that, as the aliens get smarter, we have to stay two steps ahead,” said Kate, “it's better if I just show you guys. It's kind of a lot to explain.”

“Don’t tell me it's a maze,” said Harry.

“Oh it’s not a maze,” said Kate, “its even better. Like I said it's easier to just show you. Just take me as far as your hall, and then I’ll show you guys the rest of the way.”

“Follow me then,” said Aria, taking off into the darkness, the rest of them following quickly.


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Sat Oct 30, 2021 8:51 am
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice here with another short review!

So far I liked this part the best, as it felt similar to the first two parts when reading it, but you used the best of both to create this part. Apart from the length, I also liked that we got to see more of Katy and that the focus is now on newer characters like her (and also a bit of Ryan). Whereas I also have the impression that Ryan doesn't get to speak as often as Katy, where I think that will still come up in the coming chapters / books.

This part was a good up and down between balancing the tension and the dialogue. It seemed sorted and built up and not as filter-like as I remembered in the first part. Collected, I like how, so to speak, one step comes after the next, always leaving a kind of "surprise". Since this time the chapter generally presents much more of the "theory" in terms of dialogue, I also like how you manage to keep everything going between the characters and the development of the plot.

In general, I think this is my favourite part of chapter 14.

Other points I noticed while reading:

Harry could see Aria and a boy that he recognized as Ryan.

I find the description here a bit strange, because it seems (at least to me) as if you are describing the boy who looks "like a Ryan", as if there are many more of them. Wouldn't it make more sense to rewrite it as "Harry could see Aria and a boy, he recognised. It was Ryan from the meeting".

No one working at night in our section,'

Here, with the inverted commas, one of them has gone on holiday. :D

"We don't have time for fangirling Harry," said Aria,

I don't know if there's internet in the story, but I can well imagine Harry putting together some fandom wikipedia pages there. :D

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



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Fri Oct 22, 2021 5:29 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

This was an interesting continuation. But I liked all the developments that took place in this part that was just the enough amount so that the readers don't get overwhelmed with too much information. Things are moving pretty fast now and even though this was their first official meeting as a team, the fact that they could leave as early as the very next day certainly throws an entire different light to these interactions. They don't have much time and I am honestly very excited to see what happens next.

Aria was all business in this part. She really fills her shoes as the team leader, and I like how she gets straight to the point unlike Harry, who as mentioned can 'fangirl' sometimes. Aria really has what it takes to lead a mission like this and it will be really interesting to see how she e proceeds with this leadership. We don't know much about Ryan or Kate yet, but we do know that they are good at what they do. Kate has already proved herself with her quick thinking and in this part we got to see her technological skills as well. The fact that she actually designed the secret tunnel to the library right under the alien's noses is actually very impressive. On the other hand, Ryan seems like a guy of few words, but I am sure it will be interesting to get to know him as well.

As a team, I think they are doing quite well. Their discussions are to the point and they come up with solutions pretty fast. Besides it is a really diverse group, so I am sure they are going to do an awesome job. Their mission is not very far away, and for the first time I was actually glad for the darkened hallways, because as pointed out, they will buy them time in important moments and after our previous run in with the aliens I am not going to argue with Harry's claim that their eyesight is garbage.

Now there were a couple of typos in this part, so I think you should take care of that.

A few nitpicks:

but we haven't really been able to come this even, not even with the...incident,"

I think the first 'even' here was meant to be 'way'. But even if it wasn't, you need to get rid of it as two 'evens' are a bit too much for effect.

For people who can’t hadn't ever walked that path,

You repeat yourself again with the 'can't' and 'hadn't' placed right next to each other. Besides I don't think the first one makes much sense.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



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Fri Oct 22, 2021 10:50 am
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey!! Forever here with a review!!

This was an interesting part. I liked how the suspense is building up throughout the story and actually a lot of complex plots entering the story. Like a lot of memorizations are required in this part so that we can actually understand whatever is gonna happen. About the plot, much didn't happen except they went and saw the ship and also, familiarized themselves with all the paths. I wonder why they can't manage to confuse the aliens with all those routes. If I am not wrong, the aliens have brains which are capable of retaining much information. Like so many halls and so many ways. It's indeed a bit hard to remember when this small little plan even sounds complex.

About the darkened hallways, if I am not wrong, they might have seen darkened hallways before. Like, I guess they have been working for quits a few years and I wouldn't be surprised if they have at least got one work which ended late at night. It can be the case. Or maybe they are simply not afraid of the dark or else, they were just very hopeful and the darkness didn't affect them as it would have under normal conditions.

So, Kate seems to know quite a few secret ways and most of the shortcuts from here to there and there to somewhere else. So, as the plan is going, it seems pretty decent at the moment and I hope they will succeed in carrying out the plan as smoothly. However, I do think that is not going to happen. There will be a few hundred thousand obstacles in their paths. She is quite an important person in the area which she lives in. At least to me it appears so. She is going to be quite a help in this mission. She is the only one whose skills are very much apparent.

Now, with Ryan. Ah, he perhaps is a forgetful person. Like he was not quite able to digest the plan in a very decenr manner. I liked it. In terms of speech, I had a little problem in distinguishing between the style of speaking of Ryan and Kate. Might just be me, though.

The humans have actually been doing quite sone business under aliens' nose. Like constructing a tunnel doesn't seem to be easy. Okay now so they are going to see that route. I just hope that at least this seeing will be safe.

Harry could hear her eyes rolling with her tone.

If I am not wrong, it's see not hear.

Keep Writing!

~Forever




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D




Knowledge is power.
— Francis Bacon