z

Young Writers Society


12+

Survival: The Escape, Chapter 12.1

by KateHardy


Chapter 12

We Maximize Our Chances of Death

[Daisy]

Daisy listened intently as Mr. Summers explained the damage. She couldn't understand all of what was being said, some of the technical terms flew right over her head, but she could figure out the gist of what had happened to the wires. He then moved onto the plan itself.

"So this is a strategy that we've thought of using many times but avoided due to the sheer difficulty of some parts of the plan. This damage however has made it much more doable and all four of us did agree this would be the best way forward." Mr. Summers cleared his throat yet again and he took a glance around the room, as if checking for something. Then he continued.

"So essentially we will trick the aliens into believing that nothing is happening when in reality a lot of things are going to happen to that door. What we'll do is add our own little piece to the wiring to send a prerecorded version of the day’s camera footage so that the aliens will actually see a door standing still for 24 hours. The remote data inputs that actually open and close the door are also going to be replaced. Then of course we're going to proceed to short the door open through the opening we have and well that's the gist of the plan. The specifics are what we need to work out today. So now I think it is time for questions?"

Mr. Summers raised his eyebrows at Mrs. Kane, who gave a nod before stepping forward to take the microphone from him.

"I think I will be taking it from here," she said," thank you for explaining all of that. I'll answer any questions and then we have to immediately move to plans. I believe we have at least four or five things to finalize before we can head out."

Mr. Summers nodded and made his way down from the stage. He settled into a chair on the opposite side as the five of them. There was silence for the next couple of minutes as Mrs. Kane waited for everyone to process the information and decide if they had a question or not.

Much to Daisy's surprise, it looked like everyone had either understood the whole plan perfectly. Although she supposed she shouldn't be surprised. They wouldn't have been chosen if they couldn't understand even the basics of the plan.

After the two minutes, Mrs. Kane cleared her throat and waited another ten seconds. There was still nothing.

"Okay let's get started on finalizing then. Oh actually, let me get a couple of things out of the way first. Acquiring the prerecorded data and the method for getting the data to be transmitted along the wire will be decided on separately. Alex is leading that part and we're likely going to need ten to fifteen others working to get everything we need and have everything function smoothly on the big day. Operating the system that will trick the door into opening and mask our tracks will fall onto Alex. Joshua and Felicity will be running point on that. That's just all in case anyone is curious. They will be running the behind the scenes show. Anyway, moving onto what y'all how to do, let's first get a day sorted. Aria, how long do you think you three will take to clear out the remaining parts of the ship?"

"Umm...well I'm not sure about an exact number for it but I believe at the rate that we are maintaining, it might take a week, possibly two depending on what material that hull is made of. The cabin area seemed pretty easy to cut through but the other areas, especially near the wings and the nose look tougher," she said, standing up.

"Thank you Aria," said Mrs. Kane, gesturing for her to take her seat, "so I believe if we stick with the worst case scenario, we have to make this escape within the next five days. I want as much wreckage to be present near the door on that day as possible. Okay, with that in mind, let's move to the other parts."


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
1232 Reviews


Points: 0
Reviews: 1232

Donate
Tue Oct 19, 2021 12:03 pm
View Likes
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

A bit behind but here to get up-to-date. :D

So we get the first information of the plan here and apart from the idea we get here and slowly create a construct as a reader, I really like how the narration differs between Mrs. Kane and Mr. Summers. Mr Summers is reasonably direct and doesn't beat around the bush. At the same time, it seems like he forgets (or does it on purpose) to withhold some information. With Mrs. Kane, it seems more like she is trying to make everything as dramatic as she can, thus also emphasising a bit of theatricality. This gave me the feeling that on the one hand she is quite confident about the plan and convinced that it will work, but also to calm the mood of those involved after they have been chosen.

That the whole thing is now from Daisy's perspective, I found a bit strange at the beginning, because I always missed what Daisy is about here. In the later parts this becomes a bit more obvious and developed, but here it seems rather forced when Daisy is briefly mentioned in short breaks. I think it would have been good, at least in this part, to choose a neutral narrator who would go into more detail rather than remain superficial with one character.

One other point I noticed while reading:

Daisy listened intently as Mr. Summers explained the damage. She couldn't understand all of what was being said, some of the technical terms flew right over her head, but she could figure out the gist of what had happened to the wires. He then moved onto the plan itself.

For the beginning of a chapter a good summary to continue, but I miss something more here, what exactly was explained now, because you jump too quickly from A to B for me here.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!!

Hmm...some of my transition in this chapter and the next get a touch fast. I think its just me being a bit too excited to get to the end cause Chapter 14-15 ish things will kick off...but I'm noting all that down for draft 3:D

Also hmm, I see what you mean with the point of view a bit there. I think I just tried to present all three viewpoints in this one meeting just to show how they react to it. :D

Thanks again!!



User avatar
659 Reviews


Points: 82352
Reviews: 659

Donate
Wed Oct 13, 2021 4:33 pm
View Likes
RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

Well, the plan sound well thought out and fool proof, and I am not surprised considering how enthusiastic and determined they are to escape this time. I am sure they were determined all the other times as well, but for the first time, they actually have a silver lining in the form of the crashed space ship and I guess they are going to do all that is possible in order to advantage of this.

The idea of creating a sort of mirage of the door to give the aliens the false impression that nothing is wrong is actually very brilliant. I only wonder from they are going to get the technology required to input the false image into the wring. I am sure they are quite qualifies technicians and they must have quite a collection of discarded alien machine parts and all, but if I am not wrong then this sort of technology is quite advanced and requires a lot. So I am just a little curios to see how they do that.

It is quite lucky that hArry Daisy and Aria were chosen for the mission since their daily work is directly involved with it. It is going to make this whole process run along a lot more smoothly. From what they surmised, if it comes to the worst, they have five days with the. So I guess things are going to get pretty interesting very soon.

I liked the confidence with which Aria stood up to answer in this part. It is very fitting of a mission leader and I think she is going to do a great job at it. She is very capable of taking charge of situations even when they go out of control, so it is going to be really fun seeing her boss around the two others along with Daisy and Harry.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



User avatar
701 Reviews


Points: 49988
Reviews: 701

Donate
Wed Oct 13, 2021 1:52 am
View Likes
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Seems like the whole chapter is full of dialogues. It's a bit sad that Daisy didn't understand some portions of the explanation and I don't know but that makes me think Mr. Summers would make a very bad teacher. Also, I wonder a bit about school and how attentive Daisy is in it. Not very attentive, I guess. Also, Daisy seems ti belong from general category. It wasn't clearly mentioned from Harry's POV but I guess she is because she doesn't seem to have some special qualities.

The wiring actually seemed to be a bit confusing, that CCTV wiring, I meant. I don't have any idea about wirings but I do wonder how can attaching a wire do the magic. Let's see if we can get any hint in the next parts or maybe chapters.

It's quite amusing that no one asked any questions. If I am not wrong, the quintet had thousands of questions but due to some strange reason, no one asked anything. Like Daisy had questions but I guess she didn't ask because the others didn't. I assume the same applied for the other four.

In this meeting, Aria was a lot more comfortable than the last one. She seemed to answer the questions quite smartly. I really like the formal voice of Mrs. Kane in the whole meeting. And also, it seems like she is no more very worried about her children, I mean she is not so sad that they will be leaving.

Okay so the escape is going to happen within 5 days and in the daylight(?). Then, we will soon be able to see them escaping. And goodness, earlier I took the numbers 5, 17, 22 as dates and not the number of people in a group. I am becoming a less attentive reader day by day.

Keep Writing!

~Forever




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Ohh...Daisy has skills, they'll be useful later. :D Its like a wire tap? Its some physics there...so I won't bore you with the details, but I think I did double check the science there :D

Hmm...oh and Mrs. Kane is just trying not to her emotions there, she's kinda holding it in at the moment...she does kinda have to lead after all, can't do that while crying, but later she will show more of a reaction, she is a mother after all :D

Also oof, that happens sometimes :D

Thanks again!!





Oh I am quite interested at seeing Daisy's skills. Hm.. I get 0 in physics... So, even if you tell me, it will go straight over my head.

Mrs. Kane was being very strong then. It's hard to control emotions, at least for me.

That happens a bit too much with me :(



KateHardy says...


Ohh, don't worry about it. :D




I continue to be a reverse hipster, I only do things after they've ceased being cool
— BluesClues