Hello hello
Up first.. in what way is someone crying with his head in his hands have any ressemblance with a LONDON BELL
The metaphor is nice though, it really fits with the whole Victorian ages setting style I felt your poem had. If only it made sense..
So then there is this gory lady in your nightmare. A gory lady, I remind you; is not an adjective. You can’t say, oh he is a very gory person. Gory is a genre if you’re talking about cinema or stories- not an a d j e c t I v e.
Otherwise the rest conveyed the feeling of nightmares pretty well. Although you never really insist on who and why and what is the lady. Which could’ve been a nice twist.
Also, little dream fact.. WHEN YOU ARE HAVING A DREAM YOU ARE ACTUALLY HAVING A SORT OF CONVERSATION WITH YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS
I am not inventing that, it’s perfectly true.
That is why your poem could mean so much more. The lady might represent someone. I was half expecting you to say the lady was you or something. But you didn’t. So cool. The repetition of you c r y I n g all throughout the poem and the way you employed words such as “agony” or “screamed” or “shivers” gives this poem a very stark felling. Stark meaning cold, bare, dark, naked and glum and yet empty. Oh I dunno. Just look it up.
Oh also
Another dream fact
WHEN YOU DIE IN YOUR DREAMS IT IS A WAY OF SAYING THAT YOU’VE STARTED A NEW LIFE. That you are reborn really. That you are someone different.
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