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I Hope You Don't Take Me For Granted (This Side of Crazy)

by xJade

NOTE: The * and + both tell different stories. It's a mix kind of from two points of view where the voices cross paths at some points. Imagine two creepy, echoy voices. XD

*Small ransom notes and broken promises.

+Jump over the pool of blood.

*I hope you don't take me for granted.

+Crawl under the twisted wants.

*Though you know I'll be here forever.

+Swim through all the bitter tears.

*We both love all of the wrong things.

+We don't take it for granted.

*This side of crazy, gone too fast in the car!

+One word and you're behind bars.

*The higher their rise, the greater they fell.

+But you trust me not to tell.

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129 Reviews

Points: 1820
Reviews: 129

Fri May 31, 2019 5:10 am
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Wriskypump says...

That was really cool. I like that double voice for sure! Like watching an intimate secret

xJade says...

Thank you!

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47 Reviews

Points: 166
Reviews: 47

Sun May 26, 2019 6:25 pm
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Ishan212 wrote a review...

Hello, I;m Ishan and I'm here for a review of your poetry called 'I Hope You Don't Take Me For Granted (This Side of Crazy)'. Here is my understanding of your work:

I liked your poem, especially, the way it is structured.Using the addition and multiplication symbols, one rarely sees them in a poem.

Nice poem, especially the last lines
"the higher their rise, the greater they fell", convey a lot
Hope to see more your work without the addition and multiplication symbols, so that it becomes , rather more appealing and poetic. A suggestion, two p[eople talking can be made into poetry or two sides of your brain can quarrel in the form of poetry.

A fantastic poem!!!
Keep Writing!!!

xJade says...

Thank you for the review!
(This is the first time I've used symbols in it and probably only time XD)

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41 Reviews

Points: 57
Reviews: 41

Sat May 25, 2019 7:51 pm
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starryknightt wrote a review...

Hey there!

I love the story you're telling here. It really appeals to my (slightly insane) love of horror and tragedy in literature and film. It's really gloomy (which is not a bad thing), but the alternating voices give it a bit of a demented spark of life and zest. I think of restless spirits, wandering ghosts, and unfinished business. I LOVE it.

I have to say, this is the first time I've ever seen anything like your poem. I definitely got the creepy, echo-y voices so great job! If I had written this, it wouldn't have come out nearly as masterfully written as you made it. You possess great skill, and you conveyed your story in an expert hand.

Can't wait to read more of your art!


xJade says...

Thank you! This means a lot :)

It's unsettling to know how little separates each of us from another life altogether.
— Wes Moore, The Other Wes Moore