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ever seen a hat on a table?

by Hat Table

ever seen
a hat
on a table?

     no soap,
   radio, my mistress.

don't belong on

in case you spilled your coffee.
i know you would.

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153 Reviews

Points: 2501
Reviews: 153

Thu Oct 17, 2019 4:41 pm
4revgreen wrote a review...

Hello there! I would firstly like to apologise because my review may be a little rusty because I have taken quite a long break from this website and completely forgotten how I used to write my reviews! So please forgive me for that :-)

I absolutely love this poem. Some people write too much in their poems, elaborating on and on about things that don't need elaborating on. Your poem was a fresh breath for me, something new that I haven't seen a lot of on this site.
Obscure, funny little poems like yours have always been my favourite type. They don't need all this analysis and can be taken at face value. It probably doesn't mean anything - but not all poems need to mean anything.

I liked the format / layout, it was short, sweet and kind of funny to me, and there isn't really anything else I can say about it!

I really hope that you continue to write more poetry and I would love to know what inspired you to write this poem :-)

Keep writing!

User avatar
16 Reviews

Points: 617
Reviews: 16

Sat Oct 12, 2019 10:39 pm
SuperOriginalName wrote a review...

Hi, @Hat Table! This is @SuperOriginalName here today to send you a review, based in this piece of literature. I think that this was a very nice (and funny) poem, but there is always room for improvement. Let us start, shall we?

1) Title
The first thing that anyone notices before even clicking on anyone's literary work is the title, and how it looks, and intrigues the reader into actually...well...
reading! For me, the title did intrigue me in two ways. The first one was the actual title, and it asking me a question. This always draws me in, and I hope you use it often in the the future. The second way, however, is the presentation of the title. It looked odd to me, at first glance. I looked at it, and saw that you did to use punctuation, but no capital letters. This could just be me, but I think the title looks more sophisticated when it uses proper grammar. (Again, could just be me.)

2) Description
The description, unlike the title, is in all caps. It feels like it's screaming at you, and it feels strange. Also, I don't get the joke, "NO SOAP RADIO". In your future literary content, could you make the joke clearer to the reader? Just so that everyone could understand. These are all suggestions, so don't worry. You don't have to if you don't want to. Just keep it in mind.

3) Capitalization
Not very different to the title, but when I read your poem, I cannot spot any capitalization. If I were you, I would add some in (it's very important).

4) Layout
I love the layout of this poem! The only thing that I would change is that it made more sense, instead of putting words on the screen in an disorderly fashion. Other than that, I really like the layout and I love reading poems like this.

5) Sense
To me, the joke about soap radio is odd. I don't really get it, and in this poem, I feel like it comes out of nowhere. The first, third and forth stanzas look like th would be in the same poem, yet the second one does not.

Overall, besides the previous statements, this was an amazing poem and it definitely made me chuckle a bit. I hope I wasn't too harsh in this review, and I know it looks like you made a lot of mistakes, but we all do it. Trust me. I hope this helps you improve more on your writing skills and I can't wait until your next work.
Until next time!

she slept with wolves without fear, for the wolves knew there was a lion among them.
— r.m. drake