Hello again! I'm here to review the final part of your short story.
Great job balancing the action, dialogue and descriptions in this part! Out of all three sections of this story, this was the best when it came to that. There was just the right amount of dialogue to balance out the action and lighten the mood.
With my previous two reviews, I mostly stuck to summarizing my thoughts at the end of the chapter. But now that I'm starting to get a better feel for the characters and world, I thought I'd finish my reviewing spree by also commenting on some of my favorite individual parts as well.
The millipedes charged and all hell broke loose.
A wonderful start to part three! Got to love those millipedes.

James fired at the first millipede, the bullet harmlessly glancing off. He cursed and fired again and again, the shots continuing to bounce off harmlessly.
"Looks like you should have brought a bigger gun," said Stean.
I love how Stean's first thought isn't to panic about James's gun not working - instead, he just teases him. It builds on that dynamic I fell with back in the two previous parts, so I'm really glad to see that you continued it in this one!
Then he remembered that chips would not do too well with lightning around it and sidestepped at the last second, leaping aside and letting the monster thunder past him.
This sentence is on the longer side, but I love how you subtly reminded the reader of why the pack was in the woods in the first place. They weren't here to fight monsters; they were here to have some fun. Harry's care with the chips is just the icing on the cake - it shows exactly where his priorities lie right now.
(And also is the perfect reminder of how overpowered he is.)
He tossed the chips towards James as he slid to a stop.
"Catch," he yelled and whirled to face both monsters. James fumbled but he managed to grab the packet and retreat behind Harry.
The chip saga continues!
"I know," mouthed Harry before speaking into the communicator," So how was your day with Shania and Tapu?"
"Uhh fine," she said, a little too quickly, "they're umm...practicing martial arts."
"I see," said Harry, putting a finger to his mouth as James started to whisper that they should do something.
"Anyways, what are you upto?" asked Rose, "just sitting on the sofa and chilling?"
"Yes," said Harry, quickly, "I'm watching this movie where they fight these monsters and one guy shoots lightning. Look you can even hear it."
He pointed his free hand towards the charging millipedes and sent a bolt of lightning at the creatures, sending both of them flying backwards.
I love how this exchange implies that Rose also isn't having a normal vacation day. Where's the spinoff short to the spinoff short that shows exactly what she was up to? Now I desperately want to know martial arts is supposed to be, seeing that we have movies and ice skating for the boys. >>
"Yaa, its been a crazy day today," she said, "I mean its been very normal and the fact that its so normal has made it crazy."
"Of course, pretty much the exact same over here," said Harry, nodding vigorously as if she could see him through the phone, "and to answer your question, we'll probably be back in around three hours or so."
My theory's definitely gaining some more traction.
She laughed again. "Okay, you guys have fun. See you in a bit Harry. Tell everyone else I said hello."
"Will do sis. Love you. You guys get back safely too."
"Love you too. Bye!"
...Either he's used to saying that to her, or he knows that she's up to something, too.

"Okay time for you two to join your friends." Harry jumped into the air, arm extended.
This is the perfect way to end the part! I have no idea if you intend to finish this short story or not, but it really does fit the tone of the rest of the story. It also conveys the idea to the reader that this is just another normal day for Harry and his friends - even though it's incredibly unusual to the reader.
Overall, this was an amazing read! I'm glad I decided to sit down and read/review it all in one go. The characters are hilarious, the plot is both exciting and lighthearted, and the idea of a vacation day not going as planned has to be one of my favorite filler tropes. If you write anymore of this, definitely let me know.
(And expect to see me reading The Alpha Pack after my winter break starts in early December!)
Points: 2998
Reviews: 577
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