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E - Everyone

The Day Which Changed My Life

by Hamza Ahmed, Hamza Ahmed


Almost everybody has a life-changing incident. An event after your life takes a different path. This incident or accident may have a good or bad influence on your life. In my case, it was an accident, more dramatic than others, and it had a bad outcome. Worse than bad.



It was a Saturday morning. I ate my breakfast and drank some tea while sitting on the terrace. I had a birds eye’s view from there to the market below. The Saturday market was in full swing. The traders were selling vegetables and fruits in a wild riot of colors. Florists coaxed husbands were buying flowers for their wives. The aroma of spices competed with one another. I laughed at the cacophonous voices of the sellers with apparent hostility to each other but it was all part of Saturdays’ morning entertainment. I had to get ready for my helicopter flying training. I quickly got up and changed into my best clothes for the day.



While I was driving there, I admired the beauty of nature. A clear sky with lush green trees and fields. So simple, yet so perfect. I got to my destination in the early afternoon. All helicopters were lined up and I could only see my friend Josh. He told me that the trainer had said to get a ‘helo’ and fly it up there. Nervous but excited, I got into a helicopter and started it. My heart was beating as fast as the motor blades were rotating above. I pulled the ‘joystick’ and up it went! It was phenomenal to fly in the air, all by yourself! I flew far away into the countryside. While I was enjoying nature, I heard a definite beep sound! The petrol level was extremely low! I hadn’t realized it when I got into the helicopter! There was no way to save me. The helicopter was already twisting, turning, and tossing; it was out of control! The blade went cutting through the trees and I was crashing down! BAM!



I don’t know what happened after that but the next thing I knew was that I woke up in a hospital. I was alive! I couldn’t believe it! I stared around the room. It didn’t look like I had just been admitted. The bed was warm and the room was messy. There were needles all around and prayer rugs on the floor. It looked like I had inhabited the room for several months. Suddenly, a doctor came in and glee spread over his face. He shouted, “He’s up!” and then nearly the whole hospital rushed into the room; but then I realized that they were my family members. Josh was there standing in a corner, crying. Everyone embraced me and my mother wouldn’t let go of me. I asked Josh what has happened and he said, “I shouldn’t have let you go. It’s entirely my fault. You didn’t wake up for 9 months! Everybody lost hope!” I was dumbfounded! I had been unconscious for 9 months! Then, everybody told me that I would have knee pain for the rest of my life and I wouldn’t be able to walk properly so I would be wheel-chaired. Sadness spread inside me like a virus. Ever since I have been in a wheelchair but I invented a way to move the wheelchair by pressing buttons and pulling the ‘joystick’. This way I won’t be a burden on anybody else.



From this event, I learned many things but the most important of them all is to be thankful to Allah. He is the one who gave me another life, another chance to live, and helped me give shape to my ideas. It is important to never lose hope!


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233 Reviews


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Sat Jul 31, 2021 7:39 am
RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey! RandomTalks here with a short review and also to get your work out of the green room!

To be honest, the title of your essay caught my eye and I just had to know what this was about. This was a pretty neat piece of writing, you have a good flow and the entirety of the essay is surrounded around the incident that changed the narrator's life.

"Almost everybody has a life-changing incident. An event after your life takes a different path. This incident or accident may have a good or bad influence on your life. In my case, it was an accident, more dramatic than others, and it had a bad outcome. Worse than bad."

The introduction was simple but it was enough to get me hooked. It felt like a preamble of what's going to come and highlights the impact this incident had on the narrator's life. However if I am going to be a little nitpicky then, there should be a "which" in the second sentence before the word "your", so that it reads: "An event after which your life takes a different path".

I didn't find any errors in the rest of the piece, but if I am honest, it felt a little too direct and straightforward at times. For example, when you are describing the market scene, you should not shy away from the more colorful details or when you are crashing to the ground, delve into the fear and shock that is terrifying your mind in that moment. I would have preferred just a bit more...of everything.

Overall, this was a really good essay. It delivers a clear message of hope and gratitude in the darkest of times and it teaches you to be thankful for all you have. As a parting note, I feel like I should congratulate you for the formatting, because it was very neat!

Keep writing and have a great day!




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Thu Jul 15, 2021 4:16 pm
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here for a review!

Almost everybody has a life-changing incident. An event after your life takes a different path. This incident or accident may have a good or bad influence on your life. In my case, it was an accident, more dramatic than others, and it had a bad outcome. Worse than bad.

A good beginning. I came here after saying the title and I do not regret. It was a great read. I like how you talked about incident and how that incidence affected you. I liked the dramatic word tho... obviously it' s a common one don't know why but I do like it.
It was a Saturday morning. I ate my breakfast and drank some tea while sitting on the terrace. I had a birds eye’s view from there to the market below. The Saturday market was in full swing. The traders were selling vegetables and fruits in a wild riot of colors. Florists coaxed husbands were buying flowers for their wives. The aroma of spices competed with one another. I laughed at the cacophonous voices of the sellers with apparent hostility to each other but it was all part of Saturdays’ morning entertainment. I had to get ready for my helicopter flying training. I quickly got up and changed into my best clothes for the day.

Asha a great job and describing the colours and hues and specifically the overall picture of the market. One can vividly imagine the market in front of their eyes. The last lines shows your excitement for the helicopter training. I guess it's the first one. If it is, then maybe specify it. Makes it a bit clear.
While I was driving there, I admired the beauty of nature. A clear sky with lush green trees and fields. So simple, yet so perfect. I got to my destination in the early afternoon. All helicopters were lined up and I could only see my friend Josh. He told me that the trainer had said to get a ‘helo’ and fly it up there. Nervous but excited, I got into a helicopter and started it. My heart was beating as fast as the motor blades were rotating above. I pulled the ‘joystick’ and up it went! It was phenomenal to fly in the air, all by yourself! I flew far away into the countryside. While I was enjoying nature, I heard a definite beep sound! The petrol level was extremely low! I hadn’t realized it when I got into the helicopter! There was no way to save me. The helicopter was already twisting, turning, and tossing; it was out of control! The blade went cutting through the trees and I was crashing down! BAM!

Hm... Seems like I was wrong. It was not the first. I liked the similie. It adds to the feeling of your nervousness and joy at the same time. Sad that that happened with you. With the onomatopoeia, I don't know but I guess the sound is BANG..
I don’t know what happened after that but the next thing I knew was that I woke up in a hospital. I was alive! I couldn’t believe it! I stared around the room. It didn’t look like I had just been admitted. The bed was warm and the room was messy. There were needles all around and prayer rugs on the floor. It looked like I had inhabited the room for several months. Suddenly, a doctor came in and glee spread over his face. He shouted, “He’s up!” and then nearly the whole hospital rushed into the room; but then I realized that they were my family members. Josh was there standing in a corner, crying. Everyone embraced me and my mother wouldn’t let go of me. I asked Josh what has happened and he said, “I shouldn’t have let you go. It’s entirely my fault. You didn’t wake up for 9 months! Everybody lost hope!” I was dumbfounded! I had been unconscious for 9 months! Then, everybody told me that I would have knee pain for the rest of my life and I wouldn’t be able to walk properly so I would be wheel-chaired. Sadness spread inside me like a virus. Ever since I have been in a wheelchair but I invented a way to move the wheelchair by pressing buttons and pulling the ‘joystick’. This way I won’t be a burden on anybody else.

I would like clarification on the meaning of 'joystick' This was a very sad incidence that happened with you. And glad that you didn't lose hope and was hopeful.
From this event, I learned many things but the most important of them all is to be thankful to Allah. He is the one who gave me another life, another chance to live, and helped me give shape to my ideas. It is important to never lose hope!

A great ending! Describes the hope that helped you to survive and overcome all struggles.

Overall, it was a great one speaking of struggles and how important it is never to lose hope! Keep writing!
~Forever





I know history. There are many names in history, but none of them are ours.
— Richard Siken