Hello. This is my review.
This was good. But telling people what they’re doing right doesn’t usually lead to improvement, so let’s start with the bad.
First of these is a grammar error: ‘“wow, now that this poetic pixa.”’, I’m pretty sure you meant ‘that it is’ or ‘this is’ either of these choices works in context and I’d be splitting hairs if I recommend one over the other. The second of these is a slightly off description: where you described a storm that “painting like a toddler with lightning across the sky”, I would suggest removing “like a toddler” from the description, while it would make it more readable. In the similar vein you described lights with a “placid brightness”, perhaps change “placid” to “pallid”, I guess “placid” works, it isn’t really descriptive.
With that out of the way I can give you some praise:
I think this is one of your best works, I was genuinely inspired by portions, especially by the end. This end is also something I feel you deserve praise for; it encapsulates everything a post-apocalyptic story should: the hopelessness, the terror, the helplessness, I can only imagine what it must be like to be the last of the human race, and to know you would never see another living thing again. This could have been something much worse in less capable hands, but you manage to turn it into something beautiful and sad. I wouldn’t mind a prequel.
I apologize if this is not up to par with my other reviews I am unjustifiably exhausted.
This was my review. Goodbye.
Points: 169
Reviews: 44
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