Hello this is Gem climbing out of her jewelrybox for a review.
So I did get a feeling of deep nothing in my chest, like something was missing after I read this poem. You really stay in keeping with the narrative tone of the piece and blend your low tone well with the sentences around it. It forms a chain on the readers soul, like the weighted chain you must have been feeling when you wrote the peice.
You really gave me some association with the peom when you wrote:
"Abstract as the hands that did write,
The complexity of my life,
In a few lines."
Because when have we as people not felt like our lives were unimportant and as easy to brush away as a few lines on a page are to forget. So very relatable, which is important in poetry.
Lots of commas and periods, but it goes well with the peice. I don't see any misspellings.
Overall I think that this was a great peice and the tone of it was never out of check it was very stable and fluid and it strengthened as I read. I don't think there is anything you could have done better. Maybe there is but I couldn't see it. Beautiful gut-wrenching peice Grav.
Much love,
This is Gem skipping on to the next review. Keep writing! <33333333
Points: 33
Reviews: 105
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