I hope you know I have a brain
To figure out whether or not I’m still sane
And that I most definitely know that you cheat
That you are a jerk from your head to your feet
I hope you know I’ve heard the rumor
And every single rude, untrue whisper
That you’ve been spreading lies about me
When I get my revenge I guess then you’ll see
I hope you know I’ve seen it all from the backdrop
And with me not talking I guess it won’t stop
You have friends and a solid family tree
While my branch is broken and no ones there for me
I hope you know that all you did was hurt
I won’t say where I’d like to put my foot
You were there for me when I had no friend
But now that your gone I guess it’s the end
I hope you know your look’s worse than your bark
I’ve been snubbed while you giggled and snark
Even though your words had put me down
With every bad action, my wrists are more bound
This was such an amazing poem! The emotion pouring out of it was palpable. I especially loved the line of "While my branch is broken and no ones there for me". Your ending very final and good. The wrists being bound part was such a nice touch! There's only one grammar error I could find myself. It also happens to be the line of "While my branch is broken and no ones there for me". No ones should be no one's if you want to say no one is. But that's just a little thing.
Wow. Just... wow. I feel the emotion of this poem pouring off my computer screen. It's intense...and I love it. I'm getting powerful, angry vibes. It's amazing. You've done so good with it! The first thing that came to my mind was Hamilton Broadway's "Burn" by Phillipa Soo. It has that same tension and story. And, like Eliza in Hamilton and the girl in this poem, I know you can rise above it all. Keep up the incredible work!
Hello, Princess here to drop a review here for you!
I really like this poem - you did a great job on it. Well done! It’s got a lot of feeling in it and definitely has an emotional aspect, which I really like. I only saw one grammar or spelling mistakes in your poem, so great job with that!
“While my branch is broken and no ones there for me” - This was the one grammar mistake. no one’s would be correct rather than no ones.
“I hope you know that all you did was hurt
I won’t say where I’d like to put my foot” - These two lines don’t really make sense to me. Also, what happened to the rhyming here?
Aside from those and a couple of other places where the rhymes made it seem slightly awkward but not really enough to mention, this was an amazing poem! Good job and keep up the great work!
Hello Gabi!
This is a great poem you have here, Its amazing! I love it so much.
There is feeling in it and its very emotional. I'm not sure if there is suppose to be a reason for you to write this but I do get a message from it.
I don't see any problems with grammar or capitalization. I feel you did very good writing this.
I hope to read more of you work
Keep it up!!😁
Your friend Anma
OMG! This cut me deeply. I felt the revenge and anger in this poem. As an author we want to use words that express the way we feel without using too much words. I really did feel the anger and frustration in the poem. As a author we also want to use metaphors and you did exactly that. You made me feel what you felt by the use of your words. I honestly enjoyed it. Good job and Keep up the great work.
Wow, the way I was reading this poem I thought it was kind of like a rap, if this is actually a rap you did a great job with this. I really liked the first sentence the most because it shows or hences the feeling of the poem. Also I'd like the words I have a brain, it's like you prove the people wrong that you don't.
My only feedback is that if you would put commas or periods it would be good, you know, like punctuation or something.
Anyway everything else looks good to me. Bye.
120,195 Literary Works • 649,025 Reviews
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