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Young Writers Society



Taste of Life - Chapter 29

by Que


It took someone completely flopping on Megan to wake her up. Her eyes fluttered and she groaned as she reached to pull up her blanket, but the person on top of her pushed it black out of her reach.

"Gosh, I've been trying to wake you up for forever!" Megan barely registered the voice as Emily's, and then a shockingly white light filled the room. Meg groaned again and curled up with her hands over her face.

"Why is the sun shining in the night?" She asked, still half-asleep.

"It's eleven in the morning, which isn't night by any standard," Emily stared seriously. "And besides, there's something you might want to come down for. Thomas is cooking breakfast- and he's good."

The door shut and Megan's eyes snapped open. Sure, she'd slept in late, and she was certainly still tired, but she couldn't pass up the opportunity to eat Thomas's cooking. It was far better than her own, but that was easily done. It wasn't that she liked everything hot turned into a smoldering black pile, but she had a thing with fire.

As Megan hopped out of bed, she noticed for the first time that she had slept in her clothes from yesterday. Muttering to herself, she unzipped her suitcase and grabbed a winter sweater and jeans from the top. Meg ran a brush once through her hair, then made for the kitchen, following the delicious aroma. It smelled like...

"Bacon!" she exclaimed as she turned into the kitchen, inhaling deeply. Thomas chuckled from his position at the stove, where the bacon smell was coming from.

"And pancakes, and hot chocolate, and eggs," her dad added. "Glad you've got someone who can cook! You picked a good kid." He picked up a newspaper from the table and Megan sat down next to her mother and Emily, who were having a quiet conversation.

"Whose idea was it to have Emily come and lay on me anyway?" Meg asked, snatching a piece of bacon and piling her plate with pancakes.

"Mine, of course," Thomas replied. Of course. Meg scrunched up her nose at him, and he held up his hands in surrender. "Don't hurt the cook! How else would you have gotten this wonderful breakfast?"

"Don't discredit my parents," Meg laughed. "And I'm not a half bad cook myself."

Emily started coughing suddenly, and Mr. Elm looked away. Megan's mom simply patted her shoulder affectionately.

"Of course you are, honey. That is, if you like your toast very... crisp."

Megan laughed again, and the normal chatter continued on. After they'd finished the meal and cleaned up after themselves, she ran for her boots.

"Come on Thomas, Emily. We're going to the lake, and I have someone to introduce you to." Ignoring their queries, she strode out the door, friend and boyfriend close on her heels.

On their walk to the lake, Thomas easily caught up to Megan and kept stride with her. Emily trailed a little behind, entranced by the snow and lost in her thoughts, slowly rubbing her arms. The snow was beautiful, and all three kept silent to preserve the wonder. It glistened in the noon sunlight, like a blanket of white velvet laid out across the land. Meg paused for a moment to scoop some up in her gloved hand, then slowly let it trickle out through her fingers. It was a beautiful day.

When they arrived at the lake, no one else was there yet. They walked to the edge of the dock and gazed out over the frozen expanse. Thomas crouched down and dangled his foot above the surface to test the ice.

"Careful," Megan warned, "the ice isn't ever as thick as it seems. And it's very deep, even on this edge."

"Wonder who these strangers are?" said a familiar voice behind Megan. The three of them turned around to see someone Meg knew very well.

"Isabelle!" she exclaimed, running towards her long time friend. "I've missed you so much!"

"You too, Meg." She grinned, giving her friend a brief hug. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

"Right, almost forgot." Megan smiled and gestured to the two standing behind her. "This is Thomas, my boyfriend, and Emily, my roommate. Guys, this is my high school friend, Isabelle. She's majoring in theater."

Isabelle's grin widened as she stepped forward. "It's a pleasure to meet you both."

"You're in theater?" Emily asked shyly, eyes shining.

"Yep! It's the best class I've ever had."

"Megan's taking theater," she said quietly. "And... And I sing! I write my own songs, too." Emily smiled a bit, and Isabelle grabbed her hand.

"Emily, we are going to be such good friends. I'm so glad you're here!" The two of them hit it off, and they chattered all the way around the lake as they walked. Then Isabelle said that she should probably had to go back home, and Emily and Thomas left with Megan to go back to her parents' house.

Emily glanced at her phone, then put it away and turned to Megan. "I'm so glad you brought me here today, Meg," she said softly, almost solemnly. "You're a great friend."

"No problem," Megan smiled warmly at her roommate. "I'd be happy to go with you any time again. That's what friends are for."


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130 Reviews


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Reviews: 130

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Mon Feb 08, 2016 4:05 pm
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AutoPilot wrote a review...



Hello!

I'm back, again...

So the friends all hit it off really well, good good good! I say this a lot, but good chapter! This one was quite humorous at the beginning, but ended so serious. I know the end wasn't serious in the sense that most people would think of, but it was in a way. It ended with smiles and happiness and joy, but for some reason I see it as a little somber. It is a beautiful ending, don't get me wrong! I just am having trouble finding the words to express what is going through my head.

This story is developing quite well, but it just seems that it is normal. At this point it is pretty much a girls life, I feel like there should be more happening. I love the whole story, but you have two more lives to go. So what are you going to do? Will there be problems that involve her alien interior showing? Will there be like, a war or something that... I don't know, but do you understand what I'm saying?

So Errors:
"Her eyes fluttered and she groaned as she reached to pull up her blanket, but the person on top of her pushed it black out of her reach."

a person pushed it 'Black' out of her reach, black is a color and not an action :)

Umm.. Try as I might, I cannot find any other errors, good job!

Keep On writing!

Note: Sorry if this is not the best review, I cannot think right now, but I really wanted to review it right now! Sorry.. :D




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377 Reviews


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Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:25 pm
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Snazzy wrote a review...



Hola!
Although this doesn't have a lot of action in it, it's actually not a bad chapter. I like how Emily and Isabelle kind of 'hit it off', and the little bits of humor make it a little more interesting. Anyway, time for the review!

Her eyes fluttered and she groaned as she reached to pull up her blanket, but the person on top of her pushed it black out of her reach.


This sentence seems a bit long, and a little bit "awkward". There's about 3 ideas in this sentence, and although you do use a comma in between the first two (eyes fluttered and she groaned, and her reaching to pull up her blanket) and the last (the person on top bushed it back out of her reach) , it still seems kind of wrong. I would write this as two sentences somehow - since it is one of your first sentences of the chapter, it makes it all the more crucial to it.

Other Suggestions:
I know all of this will probably add up into the end - but I just wanted to make sure you're still "on track". I know that's a bold statement for me, since it's your novel, and only you know what's going to happen in the end, but I just want to encourage you to keep the end in sight and mind while writing. Don't stray too far off from Py's 3 human lives (because right now, all I can see is Meg...) ;)

But yeah, this was pretty good. Like you said, not a lot of action, but it's nice to know Isabelle's back. Pretty good job! Keep writing!

~Snazz Pizzazz




Que says...


Thanks for the review! Yeah, I should probably fix that sentence. :) And don't worry, something IS going to happen... Soon... ;)



Snazzy says...


*IS READY* :D




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