"Well, I always thought you should be more into sports. All the boys your age are, why not you?
UGH, Mom.
Omg I love Mia, though. She comes on really strong, but I feel like right now that's the only way Finnley's going to make friends.
z
It had become quickly apparent that Mia wasn't going to leave. However, she had settled down a bit. Together, she and Finnley sat underneath the lone tree. Mia sprawled on her stomach and looked up at Finnley, her legs kicking at the air and her chin propped up on her hands. He looked away uneasily, unsure what to do in situations like these.
"So, uh, what do you like to do?" Finnley asked. It had been a while since he had had an actual conversation with anyone.
"Not fair!" she cried in mock anger, slapping the grass with one hand. "This is not going to be one of those one sided friendships! No, I'll get you involved if it's the last thing I do. You need to tell me a bit about you before I go exposing my whole life story. Though," she said thoughtfully, "If you keep asking me, I probably won't be able to resist. So. You're a poet. You're also good at thinking, if your blog's any form of measurement."
"My blog?" Finnley asked, bewildered. He sat up very very straight, and looked Mia in the eye for the first time. "What do you know about that?"
"I read it," she said calmly, but though her face was straight, her eyes had a strange gleam to them.
"How did you know it was me? It's anonymous."
"Nothing escapes me. Certainly not new people. 'F'? How is that anonymous if it's the same letter as your own name? I pay attention to these things," she said, catching Finnley's disbelieving look, "but I didn't see any reason to reach out to you. Until now. So, poet, deep thinker, writer. Secret keeper, if you won't talk to me."
"I love animals," Finnley admitted, "and I have a rabbit named Rory." He expected to be ashamed of himself, for the heat to come rushing to his cheeks, but there was none of that. He did feel oddly pleased. Mia smiled encouragingly. "Chemistry is good, I like that, and math. I appreciate art, but I'm no good. I hate live performances, giving speeches and such. Singing is out of the question."
"That's it!" Mia roared joyfully, making Finnley start. "See? You're getting it. We're going to get along just fine, you and I."
Finnley supposed that they would, though it didn't seem as if he would get much say in the matter either way. Soon enough, the bell was ringing and Finnley was packing up and leaving for his next class, unsure whether or not to be relieved about the lack of human contact he got in math. Mia was a bit over the top, but... It had felt nice to talk to someone, even if it was over trivial things.
It seemed Mia was unavoidable, though. Two periods later, he had gym. She gave him a little wave as the teacher explained that they would be playing softball. Finnley groaned; he hated most sports, but this was by far the worst. They were immediately set up in teams, and started playing. Finnley was far from prepared, but out of the corner of his eye he could see Mia hitting the ball out of the field. Evidently she didn't have any qualms with sports.
During the period, it turned out that she had also seen him. Which is why directly after school, she had cornered him again.
"Fin, I don't know how to say this without sounding like a jerk. And I'm really not a jerk, I promise!" she said earnestly, staring up at him with big eyes. "But... You stink at softball. And, I don't want to boast either, but I'm on the school's team, and if you ever needed some tips..."
"Well, it's only gym," Finnley said awkwardly.
"But I can't stand to see you play that way!" Mia burst out, hardly able to contain herself. Her arms made large, agitated swooping motions in the air, nearly hitting some passers by. "Could you maybe meet me tomorrow afternoon at the school field? I've got my own stuff, I can teach you all I know!"
He tried to placate her. "I'm really fine you know, sports just aren't my thing-"
She cut him off without hesitating. "But they could be! Then you don't have to embarrass yourself- oh don't look like that, for goodness sakes I'm not going to judge you- here, take this, it's my phone number. We'll meet at four tomorrow, alright? Wear something comfortable."
Finnley nodded and she bounced off into the distance. Well... He supposed he could really use the help. It couldn't be so bad, could it?
And so Finnley tried to explain his strange new friendship with Mia to his mother. She was happy for him, but honestly just as confused. "Well, I always thought you should be more into sports. All the boys your age are, why not you? That was very sweet of her."
After dinner, Finnley helped to wash and put away dishes. "Sooo..." his mother said, casting a sidelong glance at him that he didn't like. He kept his hands- and his eyes- on the clear stream of water he was cleaning the dishes of their suds and stains with. "Does she seem like the type of girl you'd like to ask out or what? I mean, homecoming is coming up, it'd be nice if you were dating someone..."
Finnley shut off the water and dried his wrinkling fingers, avoiding her gaze. "We're just friends, mom. And it's probably not a great idea to date the only person I'm friends with in this town... If we're even really friends," he added under his breath.
"I see, of course," his mom said, completely unaffected. "Well, I'd still love to meet her parents!"
Finnley laughed and gave her a smile, patting her on the shoulder. "Thanks for the dinner, Mom."
"Anything for you," she said with a tired smile. They sat together and watched some of the Rom-Coms she loved until she began to drift off. Finnley pulled a blanket over her and turned the TV off; she could use a good sleep, and he wasn't about to wake her. He, on the other hand, was in for another long night. It was nearly midnight- she would be here in no time.
"Well, I always thought you should be more into sports. All the boys your age are, why not you?
Heya, Falconer! Lupa here for a review. Let's begin.
1) "Together, she and Finnley sat underneath the lone tree." I'd like more description of setting her. You mention a lone tree... but where is the tree at? The use of the word "the" makes it sound like the tree is something significant, but I have no clue what the setting is and I don't see the importance of it.
2) Mia's reason for meeting Finnley at the softball field isn't the best. It seems a bit weird, how she invites him there for such a trivial reason... I would like to see more substance behind the reasoning. Couldn't she just teach him during P.E. class?
3) I mentioned this in number 1, but throughout the story (not just in the beginning) I would like more description of the setting. There's a lot of nice and relateable action between the characters, but descriptive scenes doesn't seem to be your thing. Please try to make it your thing.
Well, that's all for this short review! Keep writing and remember that THIS. IS. SPARTA!
XOX,
Lupa22
Nice chapter! I thought Mia was a very odd character but I like her.
I know Mia read his blog, but did he post so many times in his blog? Because I'm not so sure Mia can draw a conclusion about him after reading a few entries--unless that's Mia's personality.
When Finnley talked about what he liked, it seemed as though he didn't get any prompts except for a smile or so. I thought that maybe Mia would ask him some questions to get him going.
And I also felt as though it was only about THEM. I want to see how the other classmates react to them. It's as if their invisible in school. Perhaps this is not so important here, but I would have liked to see some side characters' responses to Finnley and Mia's odd friendship.
I know Finnley's mother wants Finnley to be a normal, happy kid, but it seems as though, when she and her son were washing the dishes, that Finnley's mom doesn't know him so well. Like the generalization that the boys his age liked sports and the dating thing. I thought she would know him well enough not to make that kind of statements,
But overall, I liked your chapter. Mia is a very vivid character and her character development is skillfully written. It was a nice cliffhanger ending, too.
Have a good day!
~Princess Ink~
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