“I can’t believe you’re being like this,” he shoots me a glare. “After all this time.”
“I know. I don’t care anymore.” I don’t meet his gaze, my lips pursed.
“What’s wrong with you?!” He spits, eyes locked on me. “Why are you acting like this?”
Don’t say it. I urge myself. He doesn’t need to know. He’ll only hate me more.
“I don’t know,” I mumble instead, my head hanging down, desperately trying to avoid his face. Tiredness claws at my body, my arms limp and my eyes sore as a heaviness in my chest threatens to pull me down further.
“You can’t even look at me anymore,” I glimpse up at him to see him kneading his forehead as he says it, “You aren’t even trying anymore.”
“I just give up,” I swallow down the thickness in my throat, my tongue dry.
"Give up on what?" He scoffs.
"Everything." I say quietly.
“What..” his voice faints into the air. He sounds confused. “Wait, what do you mean?”
I dare a glance and see his head tilted, staring at me through squinting eyes.
Oh crap. I didn't mean to say that.
“Hey?” Soft fingers clutch at my shoulders. "What do you mean, 'everything'?”
No. No. No. After all this time, I can’t cry. I can’t care. “I didn't mean anything by that. I'm fine.” My voice cracks but I push him away using all the energy I have left, turning my back to him.
“But you aren’t, are you?” Tenderness springs in his voice, prickles erupting all over my shivering skin. “That’s why you’re acting like this.”
“That’s not true!” I shout, trying to put every energy I have left into my tone but it seems more like I’m trying to convince myself.
“Oh but it is.” His voice falters. I feel warm arms wrap around me, like a blanket during a blizzard. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize it sooner.”
I let out a long sigh and let myself loose. I slump my shoulders and close my eyes shut as tears crawl down my cheeks like a slow drizzle. “It’s not your fault. It’s all mine. All my fault.” I croak and collapse into his embrace.
He gently turns me around to face him before hugging me tight. “I’m here…I’m here.”
I let every wall come crumbling down, every emotion cascade through, everything I’ve tried to hide comes bleeding into my reality.
All the while I hear him whispering, “Please hold on for me. You’re going to be okay, I swear it. Hold on.”