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​Zlog Ragesong

by Engel Falke


There was a rustle in the bushes nearby, but he didn’t flinch. Zlog Ragesong, heir to the Ragesong tribe was currently being chased by human bounty hunters. But he was stronger and faster than them so he wasn’t scared he kept still and observed the humans from in a tree. They were speaking their language, that Zlog was not very fluent in but could still understand some of what they were saying (because he spoke Orcish). “That bloody HALF-ORC got away, we won’t get any gold at this rate” they have been chasing Zlog for about a day and a half and still haven’t caught him.

Zlog looked to the mountains and the shadows of the trees. He estimated it was around 3 in the afternoon and he was bored, so he decided that he was going to go home. So he Dropped down from the tree he was in and smacked the hunters on the head, both fell unconscious. Zlog threw both of them over his shoulder and took them to the nearest village. He dropped them off at the border of the village so no one would see him, but before he left he saw a dark figure dash into the town and then disappear.

He walked home confused, and ready to be questioned by his mother on where he was. Once he reached his village all the little orcs ran to him and question where he had been, what he did, and if he’d killed anybody. He answered “Leave alnej nalt sma ones” which in orc mean “Leave me alone little ones”. They all fled back to their little huts they each had made. He then headed towards the biggest hut in the village. The Ragesong’s hut, the leader's hut, and the city hall(-ish).

As he walked into the hut, his HUMAN mother and adopted dwarf brother looked at him and his mother did what he was expecting, “Zlog where have you been, did you go to the village, Zlog if you went to the village your father will punish you severely”. Zlog rolled his eyes “Mother you know me I would not go into that village without a raiding party, I’m not stupid!” His mother said, “Zlog I know you’re not stupid but I’m just worried.” “ZLOG!!!” screamed Zwain Ragesong. Zlog got a shiver down his spine, he knew what happens when his dad screams.

Zwain walked into the room, and with every step, a huge thud followed. “Zlog!! Where have you been? The raiding party and I have been waiting for you to come back.” Zlog rolled his eyes. His father said “Zlog leading a raiding party is a big deal, especially for the first time, and guess what? It’s your first time.” Zlog stood there in boredom, waiting for his father to finish. “Now you're going to have to take the party out later than scheduled.”

After his father left, Zlog’s mother said: “You know he’s just trying to prepare you to lead the tribe?” Zlog response “Yes yes I know, but every day he asks me if I’m ready or not it’s annoying!” His mother nodded her head “Yes, I understand your father can be a little pushy.” Zlog walked out of the hut and looked around, he saw his tribe, his town, his friends, but he felt an emptiness inside, a longing for something. He walked around the town of orcs and felt trapped in that place, like it was holding him back from something far greater. He put those thoughts aside and yelled “ Dez ve alnej raiders!” (Come to me Raiders) in less than 10 seconds there were fourteen orcs standing in front of him.

All these orcs were raiders (part of the raiding party) and were battle-ready, but one of them was missing. Zlog thought to himself “Of course he´s not here!” then he took a deep breath and yelled “XLANT!” a big orc tumbled over himself and then ran to Zlog. “Xlant here!” said the big orc, Zlog sighed “You were late again, Xlant!” Xlant apologized. The only reason being his father wanted him too, Zlog had to lead this party. Zlog then told the party that they were going to raid the village nearby. All the rest of the orcs were ecstatic, they all have been wanting to kill something for a long while now.

So Zlog led them to the outskirts of the small village and circled it for a while looking for a looking for the best place of attack. Zlog decided that through the front gates would be the best idea. So that is where they all went, except Xlant. He stood in confusion on where he was needing to go. And out of the brush, a dwarf can and showed him that he needed to go through the front gates. This dwarf was Zlog´s adopted brother Darfu and he usually followed the raiding parties to watch what they did and how. He also helps Xlant whenever he is confused, After helping Xlant, Darfu went back into the brush where he was originally hiding.

The other orcs were burning the village and taking anything they needed, Zlog, on the other hand, was in the middle of a fight with the captain of the guard in the village. Zlog loved the thrill of the fight. It was his favorite feeling in the world, but raiding villages and fighting weak guards was boring to him. He thought “At least this guard was able to protect himself, unlike the others.” The rest of the guards were dead on the floor. After playing with the captain a little more Zlog sliced his head off with his ax. The raiding party had raided all they could and were starting to go back to their town. Zlog looked around and saw the sky had a hint of blood red in it, he was curious because he had never seen a blood-red sky before, but he needed to go home to show his father that he could lead a raiding party.

After a while of walking Zlog finally reached his town and went to his father ́s hut. Inside his mother sat knitting a shirt for Darfu and his father was talking to an older orc about spreading the stretch of their land. After Zwain was finished talking to the other orc, Zlog went up to him and told him what he had done. Zwain now had a huge smile on his face, he slapped Zlog on the back and said “Good job son you finally led a raiding party I couldn’t be prouder.

Zlog looked at his father and said something before he even thought “Dad, I’m leaving the tribe!” Zwain looked surprised but replied in a calm voice “And why would you do that, or why would you that is ok, Zlog?” Zlog looked at his dad who now had an angry look on his face “Father this life is starting to bore me I have been part of the raiding party, that was boring, I led the raiding party, and that was boring” Zlog sighed “I need more adventure and thrill in my life, the guards in the small villages are weak and simple-minded and have no battle experience!” Zwain looked at his son and said two words “Then…..go.”

Zlog looked at his father surprised because his father always had wanted him to stay and lead the tribe, but after his father explained, he understood. “Son you can go explore and fight, but one day you will come back and lead this tribe!” Zlog walked to his part of the hut and started packing for his adventure. His mother walked up to him and said “Zlog we will miss you, Darfu and I!” Zlog turned around and hugged his mother and said “And I too, will miss you both.” Zlog then took his pack and walked out of the hut, out of town, past the raided village, and out into the big wide world.

He had been traveling for a while and had not found anything interesting. He had hunted a couple animals for dinner but found nothing except forest. He had gotten a little bored but the adrenaline from his excitement was still there so he kept going till he found a tavern by a road.

This tavern was called "Riot's Cave" with a battle axe across the text. Inside the tavern there were four little booths and five tables. In one of the booths a hooded figure sat staring at Zlog as he walked in the door. Zlog noticed them when he walked in and tried not to look at them.

Zlog sat on the opposite side of the tavern from the hooded figure. Zlog stared at them waiting till he looked away. But the figure was not fazed, but Zlog's face did not waver. The figure got up and slowly walked towards Zlog's booth. Zlog looked as the figure came and sat across from Zlog.

Zlog spoke finally after a minute of awkward silence "What do you want?" The figure took off its hood. And underneath scared Zlog because he had only heard stories about what he saw...a Tiefling.

Zarya was her name and she was a red Tiefling. Zlog sat there in amazement for what he was looking at was extremely rare. Tieflings are the most rare race to see in that part of the world. Mainly because they were hunted and then were practiced on for exorcisms.

Zarya looked at Zlog and said “What? Have you never seen a Tiefling before?” Zlog shook his head, Zarya looked at him in confusion. “There is a portal around this tavern and you have never once seen a Tiefling?” Zlog nodded, Zarya stared at him for a while.

Zlog then got the courage to ask, “What are you doing here, I thought all of you kind in these parts were dead?” Zarya answered “I have only just entered this plane!” “This plane, what do you mean?” Zlog said in confusion. Zarya could see that he did not understand “Have you ever heard of the “Planes of Law?”

"I thought that the "Planes of Law and Chaos" were only myths!" Said Zlog, Zarya looked at him like he was a child. "Let me tell you a story Half-Orc, The "Planes of Law and Chaos" are definitely real!" Zlog could not believe his ears, there were over 20 other different Planes!

"And a great wizard, done with fighting and protecting, made a portal to the nine hells. There he made a great colosseum, in this colosseum he had gladiatorial games. He had many champions from human barbarians to demon fighters. But one day a great Dragonborn warrior showed up, and beat all the other gladiators. So that wizard sent me to find a warrior strong enough to beat the Dragonborn, or his business will die."

Zlog sat there thinking about what she had said “But one day a great Dragonborn warrior showed up, and beat all the other gladiators. So that wizard sent me to find a warrior strong enough to beat the Dragonborn” Beating a Dragonborn, what would people say about that? Well, it sounds more fun than raiding villages, and fighting little men. Zlog looked at Zarya and said “ I accept your offer!”







To be Continued... 


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384 Reviews


Points: 18696
Reviews: 384

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Fri Jul 23, 2021 4:36 pm
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Heyyy! Forever here for a review!

Zlog response “Yes yes I know, but every day he asks me if I’m ready or not it’s annoying!”

I guess it will be responsed a d not response
And out of the brush, a dwarf can and showed him that he needed to go through the front gates

This line is a bit vague. Consider making it clearer.
And why would you do that, or why would you that is ok, Zlog?”

I guess there should be a 'think' before that is ok
“Then…..go.”

You seem to love this dots a lot :D . Though that's not really unnatural, only three dots is allowed in writing. Not more than that.
And I too, will miss you both.” Zlog then took his pack and walked out of the hut, out of town, past the raided village, and out into the big wide world.

I don't know if big wide world is the perfect phrase here but I guess you can replace it by vast World.
But the figure was not fazed, but Zlog's face did not waver.

This sentence construction doesn't seem to be the right one...

Overall, it was pretty interesting. I liked how you used a different language as the spoken language of the tribe but in the last, it was back to English and not only in the last, for the majority of the story it was English. So, maybe modify that part a bit like he liked English or whatever you can do with that. But if possible, you can keep that language thing. It actually sounds pretty good. I guess this is gonna be a good sort of adventure including some pretty magic and also some different creatures, maybe. You did a gpod job with the dialogues... Like you pretty well conveyed who was speaking even if the reader doesn't readers the name of the speaker. Now, Zlog is a bit overconfident, I guess and kind of very whimsical in nature. And I don't if that Tiefling actually made the offer to Zlog. I couldn't find the specification of that. Maybe include it. And yes, don't forget to tag me when you release the next part.
Agai , it was a great piece.
Keep writing!
~Forever




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15 Reviews


Points: 30
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Fri Jul 23, 2021 12:00 pm
eilisBK wrote a review...



I thought this was a really great piece. The plot was super engaging and I definitely fell in love with you main character. I'm unsure if you did this intentionally, but the tone of your writing (slightly informal) really made me think that the narration was the thoughts of the MC. Whether you did it intentionally or not, really great job.

A few mistakes I noticed:
There were a few grammar mistakes throughout such as: "But he was stronger and faster than them so he wasn’t scared he kept still and observed the humans from in a tree." I think you just need to split this into two sentences like this: "But he was stronger and faster than them so he wasn’t scared. He kept still and observed the humans from in a tree."
Occasionally it feels like a sentence is incomplete or that something hasn't been fully fleshed out, but that also comes with the territory of writing a a short background piece. Just something to keep in mind for the big project.

Anyway, really great stuff I look forward to reading your future works!





Poetry comes alive to me through recitation.
— Natalie Merchant