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Those Three Words

by Elektra


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Text Version:

It's extraordinary how much I love you,

but I wish I didn't,

because maybe then I'd be more than broken pavement,

I let you step all over me until I'm dirty, and rugged.

.

If I keep talking to myself,

I'm scared I'll lose my mind to your justified,

actions of discipline and abandonment.

But you know I love you,

so it doesn't matter.

Right?

.

Why is it that whenever we say those three words,

people take it for some sort of flattery?

I'm simply stating a fact,

exercising my human right of free speech.

.

But you don't do the same.

And that hurts, because when I said those three words,

I meant it.

Is this a game to you?

.

I look up to you more than you think,

I watch as you put your dress shirt on,

and comb back your hair with expensive gel.

If I could, I'd tie your shoes for you,

and admire you as you thank me.

.

I adore the way you carry yourself,

how you shrug at the slightest inconvenience,

how your voice changes when you're speaking on the phone,

the simple things.

.

But you only adore me because I said those three words.


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18 Reviews

Points: 652
Reviews: 18

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Wed Oct 23, 2024 2:51 pm
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avimoon wrote a review...



Hello, there! Avi speaking :)
First, the artwork that goes with this piece is beautiful and aesthetic and fits the piece wonderfully. 😍
Second, as always, your words tug on my heartstrings and pull me in like that really pretty way pretty men in equally pretty suits are pulled into a kiss by their lapels.
Third, this poem is competing with "The Artist" for my favorite poem of yours now.
"It's extraordinary how much I love you,
but I wish I didn't," this had no right hitting so hard. By which, I mean this is incredible and relatable and gorgeous.
"because maybe then I'd be more than broken pavement," ahh, the cracks in the sidewalks, the worry of tripping over them; those irritating things that aren't supposed to be there.
"I let you step all over me until I'm dirty, and rugged." Felt that pain. I'd take out the comma from before "and" because there isn't three or more adjectives you're using to describe it. This line is super powerful and it hits like a sucker punch. Well done.
"If I keep talking to myself,
I'm scared I'll lose my mind to your justified,
actions of discipline and abandonment." The narrator tells themself to stop overthinking it and by extension stop thinking about it in general out of fear they might discover something they don't want to see, a blight of imperfection on the person they love.
"But you know I love you,
so it doesn't matter.
Right?" Ahh, the fear in these words. Beautiful.
"Why is it that whenever we say those three words,
people take it for some sort of flattery?
I'm simply stating a fact,
exercising my human right of free speech." Exactly! "I love you" "Wow, thank you". That is our reality. Always taking it as a compliment and not as a confession.
"But you don't do the same.
And that hurts, because when I said those three words,
I meant it.
Is this a game to you?" This is a confession and a confrontation all at once and I adore it.
"I look up to you more than you think,
I watch as you put your dress shirt on,
and comb back your hair with expensive gel.
If I could, I'd tie your shoes for you,
and admire you as you thank me.

I adore the way you carry yourself,
how you shrug at the slightest inconvenience,
how your voice changes when you're speaking on the phone,
the simple things." It's giving Ginny Weasley. But all jokes aside, it is the little things about the person that make someone fall in love with them, and this captures it perfectly. When you love someone, you'd kneel and put yourself in a position of immense vulnerability, and when they love you back, they handle it easily without hurting you.
"But you only adore me because I said those three words." And then, the pain. The narrator is in love with this person who is only in love with the feeling of being in love/being loved i.e. David Levithan's The Lover's Dictionary.
This poem is incredible. Your writing is incredible. I can't wait to read more!




Elektra says...


Thank you!!! <3



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187 Reviews

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Reviews: 187

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Tue May 14, 2024 4:17 am
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Moonlily wrote a review...



Hello Hello I hope you dont mind me coming in with a review. I will also apologize if this isn't as in-depth as normal. If I am not mistaken and correct me if I am wrong but I read on your wall this might be based on your life, I do hope things get better if so. I feel you did a very good job portraying these feelings the start is nicely vivid and the end shows the longing well. The small details you use sound in some ways how my partner describes me when they try to cheer me up, and the same love I try to give back so the admiring comes out super well.

If there's anything I would give feedback on besides the points others have given has to do with capitalization. For example, the word but has capitalization and other times not. I am sorry if this is a stylistic or grammar thing I am not picking up on.

ex:

" But you know I love you,"

&
"but I wish I didn't,"

Regardless I wish you and your family the best of luck. Take care of yourself and keep writing!




Elektra says...


Hi! The reason for the caps is because after a comma, I treat it as a sentence. Anything that is a continuation of a sentence I just leave lower-case! But thank you <333 I appreciate it!



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Points: 404
Reviews: 10

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Mon May 06, 2024 11:06 pm
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twilight1205 wrote a review...



First things first, THE TITLE!!! absolutely LOVE it. It leaves you guessing, especially because when people are talking about "those three words" we automatically assume its "I Love You" but instead of choosing that as your title, you kept it mysterious which leaves a lot of room for interpretation which I believe is the true heart of poetry. In the first stanza I absolutley love the line " I let you step all over me, until im dirty and rugged". The diction in this line is so strong! Especially with the word LET! It gives the speaker power but also weakness. This is amazing! I cannot wait to see what else you come up with!




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Thu Apr 25, 2024 8:21 pm
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EllieMae wrote a review...



Time for a Black Cat Review!!



MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:

Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret

First impression- this is so incredibly beautiful, Leya :D I love the painting at the top! Is it yours or where did you get that, so so pretty!

It's extraordinary how much I love you,

but I wish I didn't,


This is such an awesome opening. The first line really got me- wow, a love poem how sweet! And then reading the second line really changed the way I thought about it. This is not just an 'I love you' poem. Three words can be so much more than those three. Perhaps 'I hate you' words too.

But you know I love you,

so it doesn't matter.

Right?


I love how you included the 'right?' at the end. That makes this poem feel so much more like a conversation. That really brings out the heartfelt, confrontational, heartbroken, in love, everything in between-ness of this poem. Well done with that. I thought the tone was very clear and your voice is very strong.

And I wanted to mention the same thing here:

I meant it.

Is this a game to you?


I love the progression of this poem. We start out with what seemed like a love note, but now it is so much more. This is a confession of love, yes, but it is also a confession of hurt and heartache and a longing for this person to do more. I see so many people, situations, past and present, in these words. Good job writing relatable poetry!

Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement

I'm scared I'll lose my mind to your justified,

actions of discipline and abandonment.


This section stood out to me. It is a beautiful sentence, but the comma after the word justified threw me off a little bit. Justified actions seems to flow better than justified, actions.

how your voice changes when you're speaking on the phone,

the simple things.


Perhaps adding a period instead of a comma after the word phone. I love how flows your poetry is and how it carries on from line to line, but perhaps using periods and commas in a way to show literal phrases. For example, a period represents an end, which a comma represents moving forward. So maybe a period after phone would show some of that emotion.

Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises

I adore the way you carry yourself,

how you shrug at the slightest inconvenience,

how your voice changes when you're speaking on the phone,

the simple things.

.

But you only adore me because I said those three words.


I really love this ending, Leya! I love the contrast of love and hate in this poem. I enjoyed how you ended by listing things you adore, but closed with that statement of loneliness, also bringing back the 'three words'. Brilliant job with that!!

Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts

Thank you for sharing this lovely poem! I love the visual of it too. So well done!!

Your friend,
Ellie

I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!




Elektra says...


Thank you Ellie <33 it means a lot!



Elektra says...


Oh, and I got the pic from Pinterest xD



EllieMae says...


It is so cute!! Fits this so well :D



Elektra says...


thank you, friend <3




So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install a lovely bookcase on the wall.
— Roald Dahl