z
  • Home

Young Writers Society



The Daughter of War - Chapter 38: Unlikely Allies

by Elektra


Chapter 38: Unlikely Allies

Josephine’s body froze as her father, Hermes, Jase, and Apollo engaged in battle. She watched as Jase’s body moved with the grace of a million ballads—his arms flexed and his hair stuck to his face in beads of sweat. Ares was targeting Hermes, but it didn’t last long before the god’s façade dropped and he knelt down on one knee to plead for mercy. Apollo didn’t quite falter as easily, but his face said it all.

“Have you had enough?” Josephine walked over to them, slowly, before standing between her two protectors.

Apollo spit at her feet, but Jase retaliated with a hard knock to the face by the handle of his sword. Apollo spit out blood, his breathing heavy, “He will come back to find you. And when he does, we’re all dead.”

“I don’t think so,” a voice sounded from the distance.

Josephine spun around. She knew that voice.

There she was, dirtied and shackled, with a faint smile on her face. Persephone.

“Are you real?” Josephine asked, her voice nearly a whisper.

Persephone’s smile widened, though it was tinged with exhaustion. Her shackles clinked softly as she took a step closer, the chains dragging along the ground. "As real as the ground beneath your feet, Josie."

Josephine’s heart pounded in her chest. She rushed forward, her hands trembling as she reached out to touch Persephone’s cheek, her fingers brushing against the dirt-streaked skin. Persephone was warm, solid. Real.

“But how…?” Josephine’s voice faltered.

“I’ve been here. Watching,” Persephone glared at Hermes and Apollo, “He is gone… for now. Zeus is handling him.”

“He’s dead,” Jase said, rolling his shoulders back.

“Not quite,” Ares looked to them, “Gods don’t… truly die.”

“Precisely.” Persephone smiled at them.

“Let me help you out of those,” Ares knelt in front of Persephone and waved his hands over the shackles. They dissipated within a matter of seconds.

Persephone sighed in relief, rubbing her wrists where the shackles had been, "Thank you, Ares," she murmured, her voice filled with a gratitude that seemed out of place, but somehow wasn’t.

Ares rose to his feet, his eyes lingering on Persephone with a rare softness. “We’ll need to be quick,” he said, his tone shifting back to business. “Zeus might be dealing with Hades, but the situation is far from over. Hermes and Apollo know that.”

“And what do we do with them?” Josephine asked, glancing back at the duo. They looked between each other hesitantly.

Ares’ gaze flicked to Hermes and Apollo, his expression hardening, “They’re a liability,” he said bluntly, “If they get the chance, they’ll try to stop us.”

Hermes straightened, brushing off his robes as if trying to regain some semblance of dignity. “You underestimate us, Ares,” he said, his voice regaining some of its usual sharpness. “We’re not fools. We know what’s at stake.”

“And what… exactly is at stake?” Jase asked.

They all looked to Josephine.

“Me?” She asked, a hint of nervousness in her voice.

Persephone stepped forward, “During the battle… Hades managed to steal some of your power. If he escapes Zeus, he plans to use it against all of the realms. He’s not just a threat to Olympus; he’s a danger to everything.”

Josephine’s eyes widened in shock, “He stole my power? How much does he have? And how did he even manage to do that?”

“He stole a significant portion of your power—enough to make him a serious threat. During the battle, Hades used his dark magic to weaken you, exploiting the moment of distraction. He’s skilled at manipulating shadows and energies, and he knew exactly where to strike,” Persephone sighed, grabbing Josephine’s hand.

Josephine could feel her palms sweating, “So, what happens now? How do we stop him from using it?”

“We need to act fast,” Ares said, his voice firm, “Hades will use the stolen power to further his own ambitions, and if he’s able to harness it fully, he could destabilize the balance of the realms. He has allies and resources that could make him nearly unstoppable.”

Jase stepped forward, “If Hades gets his hands on more power or makes use of yours effectively, he could unleash chaos beyond anything we’ve seen. We need to locate him before he can do any real damage.”

Josephine thought about it for a moment. All they needed were allies on their side. Then, they’d be able to counter Hades forces. They were right, Zeus couldn’t hold back Hades forever. He may be weakened for the moment in Olympus, but… if gods couldn’t truly die, how would they stop him?

Josephine looked to Jase, “Athena. Can you get Athena to help?”

Jase’s eyes widened slightly at the mention of Athena, “Athena? She’s powerful and wise, but she’s not easily swayed. Her help wouldn’t be guaranteed.”

“That’s why she’s asking you to sway her,” Persephone answered, “You’ve become close with her. Have you not? Hasn’t she been training you?”

Jase nodded, “Yes… she’s taught me much, but she’s also very cautious about involving herself in conflicts unless there’s a clear and pressing need.”

“Then we need to make that need clear. We have to show her the gravity of the situation—how Hades could disrupt not just Olympus, but the balance of all realms,” Ares nodded.

Hermes chimed in, “And if we present the situation to Athena correctly, she might see the necessity of her involvement. She’ll understand the implications of Hades using stolen power to destabilize the realms.”

Josephine’s head cocked slightly, “Who asked you? Last I checked, you’re our hostages now.”

Hermes raised an eyebrow, “I was merely offering my insight. If you’re aiming to rally the gods, even a god in chains can contribute valuable advice.”

Josephine crossed her arms, “And why should we listen to you? You’ve already betrayed us once. Your advice might come with its own agenda.”

Ares stepped in, “We need to focus on the task at hand. If Hermes has useful information, it’s worth considering.”

Apollo, who had been silent until now, added with a hint of irritation, “You’re right to be cautious, but you’re also right to consider every piece of advice. Athena’s perspective on this matter will be crucial. She values balance and order, and if she sees Hades as a threat to that balance, she might be persuaded to help.”

“Shut up before I cut your tongue out of your mouth,” Jase snarled, looking to Apollo, “You’re just as bad as Hermes. You two won’t get off so easy.”

Josephine’s gaze shifted between Apollo and Jase, the tension thickening in the air. Apollo smiled at Jase’s threat, sighing loudly, “Threats won’t change the facts. Athena is a key player, and if we want her help, we need to present a compelling case. I may be a prisoner, but I’m still telling you what you need to know.”

Josephine nodded slowly, “Okay, okay. If we need all the help we can get… I guess they can help. We don’t have anything to lose.”

“We do, Josephine,” Jase’s eyes grew soft as he looked at her, “You. We have you to lose. And I won’t be able to live with myself if we let these two in and they—”

Josephine cut him off gently but firmly, “I understand your concern, Jase. But right now, we need to be real. If Hermes and Apollo have information that can help us convince Athena, then we should use it. We’re running out of time.”

Jase nodded, though his worry remained evident, “Fine, but I’ll be keeping a close eye on them. If they try anything, they’ll answer to me.”

~

The grand doors of Athena’s quarters creaked open, revealing a room bathed in soft, amber light. The air was thick with the scent of parchment and cedar, mingling with the faint aroma of incense that burned in a delicate bronze censer.

At the center of the room stood Athena herself, regal and composed. She was seated behind a massive wooden desk. Her armor gleamed a light bronze color which casted a rainbow on the domed ceiling above them. The desk was cluttered with open texts, celestial maps, and a few scattered artifacts that were randomly placed on different locations.

Josephine stepped forward, her heart pounding in her chest. This was her first time ever speaking with the goddess. Jase, standing close behind her, was visibly tense. He exchanged a quick glance with Josephine as she made her way to the front of Athena’s desk. Ares, Hermes and Apollo were silent, awkwardly shifting in their seats at the large table in the middle of the room.

Athena’s eyes moved from Jase to Josephine, “You come to me in desperate times,” she said, “Explain to me why I should involve myself in this conflict.”

Josephine took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice, “Athena, we need your help. Hades has stolen a part of my power, and he’s planning to use it to wreak havoc across all realms. This isn’t just an Olympus problem.

Athena looked up from her desk, her face showing signs of curiosity, “So, you’re saying Hades is a big deal now? Why should I drop what I’m doing to deal with this?”

Jase answered, “Because if Hades gets his hands on more power, he could unleash chaos beyond anything we’ve seen. We need your expertise and strength to stop him before it’s too late. You’re one of the few who can really make a difference.”

Athena raised an eyebrow, “Does my father know about this?”

Josephine hesitated, “Zeus is aware of the situation, but he has Hades under control for now. He’s dealing with the immediate threat… but we need help with the long-term threat.”

“And why are they here?” Athena smirked, obviously finding solace in seeing Hermes and Apollo so quiet, “Are they part of this mess too?”

Josephine glanced at Hermes and Apollo, then back at Athena, “They are. They were involved, but we’ve managed to contain them for now. They might be able to provide some useful information about Hades’ plans.”

Athena’s eyes narrowed slightly, “Interesting. And what makes you think they’ll be helpful?”

Ares cleared his throat, standing, “They’ve both had dealings with Hades. Even if their motives aren’t entirely trustworthy, their knowledge of his strategies could be valuable.”

Athena’s gaze lingered on Ares for a moment, then returned to Josephine, “Very well. If Hades truly poses a threat to the balance of all realms, it’s worth considering.”

Josephine felt a wave of relief wash over her, “Thank you. We’re running out of time. We need to act quickly.”

Athena leaned back in her chair, her fingers tapping lightly on her desk. “Tell me everything you know. Start from the beginning. What’s Hades’ endgame, and how do you propose we stop him?”

Josephine took another deep breath, her heart racing as she began to explain, “Hades has managed to steal a portion of my power, which he plans to use to destabilize the realms. His aim is to create chaos that will allow him to seize control. We need to find a way to neutralize that power and prevent him from gaining more.”

Jase added, “We’re trying to locate Hades and stop him before he can do any more damage. We’ve already seen how dangerous he can be, and if we don’t act fast, things could spiral out of control. We know his power is stabilized by Zeus for now, but we don’t know where he physically is.”

“Very well. I’ll lend my support,” Athena said, “but, I need to know more about your plan.”

Josephine exchanged a quick glance with Jase, “We’re looking for allies who can help us strengthen our position and gather information on Hades’ movements. We also need to find a way to restore the balance of power and prevent him from exploiting the stolen energy.”

Athena nodded slowly. “I see. For now, focus on gathering more information and prepare. I’ll join you when the time is right.”

Jase bowed slightly and the others stood along with them, “Thank you, Goddess Athena. Your support is much appreciated. We will visit some possible allies; they may have some valuable information as well.”

As they left Athena’s quarters, Josephine felt relieved, but not completely. Not only was her soul at stake, but so was everyone she loved. 


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
407 Reviews

Points: 84229
Reviews: 407

Donate
Fri Nov 08, 2024 5:37 pm
View Likes
RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello, My Friend!

It's been far too long, but enough is enough -I've gotta know what happens!! Though, side note, my review game has not been what it used to be, so the formatting is a little different >.> If you're not a fan, I can go back to the normal chaotic format lol.

*ahem* Anyway, it's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

Wow! So much to process; the team of traitors has been split three ways, and there are so many ways this can all go! You seamlessly wrapped up an intense battle while yet expanding on the overarching war, and it feels like there are so many possibilities for the near future of this story -some of them pretty grim. Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

I didn't really have anything to put here this time! Great writing job!

Why The Grin Widened...

Let's break it down...

Plot and Pacing: Excellent! I thought this was a good way to wrap up the intense fight in the prior two chapters! A calm in the storm, so to speak, yet it doesn't feel overly abrupt or out-of-place. After all, they got Ares to fight alongside them, understandably giving them the advantage in terms of power and numbers. There's not so much downtime that we lose interest in the fight, and I also liked how it presents the new threat and re-introduces Athena.

Descriptions and Setting: Ah, just beautiful!! One of my favorite things about reading DoW has been the descriptions that just suck you into the world; vivid, yet leaving just enough room to avoid cluttered paragraphs and let the reader's mind fill in the blanks. Not only was the setting like Athena's quarters amazing, but even the condition of the characters, and details of the fight as it ended, told so much in their descriptions alone. Like, the focus on Jase could show Josephine's subconscious worry and care about him, and I love how when Ares joins the fight, it's a bit like a blur and Josephine feels "frozen," like we get a sense of how stunned she is by this change in character. It's like you're always giving us perspective!

Action: Brilliant! A bit more condensed than the prior chapters, but as mentioned before, it makes sense and provides a quick, sensible way to wrap up the fight.

Characterization: Oh man! Admittedly, it's a little bit hard to tell on the surface because you can tell the characters need to focus on business and not get sidetracked, but you can still read between the lines. Going forward, Josephine really seems split between her newfound confidence and some understandable, troubling emotions, presumably over Aphrodite and Ares. One moment she's headstrong, the next she's frozen, and her relationships with characters like Jase or Ares have to be put aside for the greater good. Fascinating!

Ares is the king of bluntness, yet seems to be coming around the longer he's with Josephine! I was not-very-secretly hoping he'd have a redemption arc so this is intriguing, but I feel like I shouldn't hold my breath just yet...

I like how Athena is framed; it sounds like she's the kind of goddess who is just totally over her fellow gods' nonsense and stays out of it unless something really big pops up, and that reflected in her conversation with the team. I enjoyed that aspect of her character and it fits her well.

The final one who stood out, of course, was Persephone. It was so great to see the REAL her reunited with the team, and you can just see the bond that she and Josephine have developed despite the chaos at hand. Very touching moment, and here's to hoping she'll finally catch a break and recover lol.

Grammar and Spelling: I mean, I didn't notice anything to even nitpick in this regard, so great!

Reactions and Theories!: Ooo, theories!! Hmmm...Tbh, it's hard since I haven't been quite as caught-up as I'd have liked. But I do have the feeling that Hermes and Apollo aren't finished yet, so I'm still suspicious of those two. I also wonder, since Zeus is dealing with Hades now, if he'll get roped into this somehow -perhaps noticing something is amiss, or even getting caught off-guard by a sudden attack. Possibly even...dethroned?? >.>

As for reactions...

“Not quite,” Ares looked to them, “Gods don’t… truly die.”


This line just felt so...foreboding, in a way. Like, Hades will come back, but then how are you supposed to handle him from there?? It also makes me wonder if certain "dead" gods could make a comeback somehow... >.>

Josephine’s eyes widened in shock, “He stole my power? How much does he have? And how did he even manage to do that?”


This really amped the situation; not only does it speak to how tricky Hades can be with his illusions and power, but in combination with Josephine's fire, it sounds deadly. And that's what led to me theorizing that Zeus could come under fire (literally) in the process.

Josephine crossed her arms, “And why should we listen to you? You’ve already betrayed us once. Your advice might come with its own agenda.”


This whole moment had some slightly humorous overtones -like this confusion, and Hermes immediately recognizing his position and making a 180 turn. But at the same time, these gods are tricky, so the more I read the more I just can't help thinking; are they actually just helping and trying to cover their own a**es at this point, or is there something else going on??

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, it was so good to get back into this universe, and this was a great chapter! Nicely done! :D

[new banner pending :3]




Elektra says...


Ah!! I love the new review template! And I am so glad you loved this chapter <3



RavenAkuma says...


-oop, missed this- that's great to hear, thanks!! <3



User avatar
197 Reviews

Points: 22921
Reviews: 197

Donate
Sun Sep 29, 2024 3:24 am
Moonlily wrote a review...



Hello Hello, I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. I know, I know I said that I would review your other novel and I will at some point. However, I hope you can forgive me for reviewing this first in the spirit of review day. Now before I finish my apologies I want to add one more. I haven't read all the chapters so please forgive anything I might get wrong. Let's get into it, shall we?

Overall, This is quite a read considering where I left off. Things have escalated way past Nyx and it is dramatic even without context. Even if I only knew a few of the cast members I wasn't expecting Hades to be the Villain here and honestly I don't know what to think.

Please don't take this as an insult to your writing skills it's not meant to be. It's just Hades is represented as a romanticized version of himself who doesn't do anything wrong or a devil archetype who tends to be the bad guy. However, at the same time, I feel any god wouldn't be above seizing power in this pantheon. This once again isn't about your skills and my my personal thoughts.

While we are on the topic of the Gods I love how the others were portrayed. There are so many fun little moments that feel close to their mythical counterparts. Your enjoyment and knowledge of these figures come out amazingly throughout the novel. I hope you don't mind me gushing a little bit before we get into feedback.

Firstly the friendship between Josephine and Persephone is so sweet. I love that we had a small moment of hope amidst the rising stakes. The interaction between Persephone and Ares was also interesting. They seem to be opposed but also level-headed enough not to rip each other's throats out. Considering what they represent spring being a time of rebirth and war being filled with death is surprising. ( I could be off-story and myth-wise.)

Furthermore, Hermes being slightly helpful but also untrustworthy is so fitting. In a way, it reminds me of The Odyssey or at least Epic's retelling of it. Where he would pop in to help Odysseus as the plot goes on but not explain much. I also enjoy how the God of messages took the hint that Ares would obliterate him in a fight.

Then there's Athena I LOVE how she's portrayed! Even the office gives off the perfect vibe from the smells alone. It comes off as lush yet refined while matching her reserved attitude. The whole conversation between her and the others shows her more tactical and wise side. However, I wonder if it would be a chance to show her hot headed side as well. This could have added to the tension and be accurate as well.

Now I finally want to move on to feedback. As always I am not a professional nor do you need to use anything I say. You are the author after all!

This will be pretty short as I could only find one small nitpicky thing.

Jase’s eyes widened slightly at the mention of Athena, “Athena? She’s powerful and wise, but she’s not easily swayed. Her help wouldn’t be guaranteed.”


I would tweak this slightly to help with the flow. Something like this.

Jase’s eyes widened slightly at the mention. “Athena? She’s powerful and wise, but she’s not easily swayed. Her help wouldn’t be guaranteed.”


Regardless of this feedback I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter. I think you can tell since this is very long. So I will not hold you up any longer and instead, I will simply wrap it up. Happy Review day!

As always keep writing and remember to drink water!




User avatar
450 Reviews

Points: 10592
Reviews: 450

Donate
Sun Sep 29, 2024 2:50 am
Wolfi wrote a review...



Hey there, Ley! Hope this review finds you well on this autumnal Review Day weekend! Apple Cinnamon > Pumpkin Spice!!! *insert huffing air emoji*

I've left a couple reviews on this wonderful novel already, so I'm not totally lost here. It's good to see Josephine and her celestial companions again!

Apollo spit at her feet, but Jase retaliated with a hard knock to the face by the handle of his sword. Apollo spit out blood, his breathing heavy, “He will come back to find you. And when he does, we’re all dead.”

Remember to keep those tenses consistent! Both should be "spat," though I would also recommend not using the same verb twice so close together. Unless it was cheekily played off as a comparison to the first, such as: "Apollo then spat out blood..."

I also wanted to call to attention your punctuation where narration meets dialogue. Here, there should be a period at the end of "breathing heavy" because it isn't part of a dialogue tag and is instead a totally separate sentence from the following quotes. It's a tiny error but it occurs several times in the chapter, so just something you might want to keep an eye out for!

She rushed forward, her hands trembling as she reached out to touch Persephone’s cheek, her fingers brushing against the dirt-streaked skin. Persephone was warm, solid. Real.

Beautiful writing here! I love how each sentence shrinks in size until the last one is just one word.

“We do, Josephine,” Jase’s eyes grew soft as he looked at her, “You. We have you to lose. And I won’t be able to live with myself if we let these two in and they—”

Aw :,)

Jase nodded, though his worry remained evident, “Fine, but I’ll be keeping a close eye on them. If they try anything, they’ll answer to me.”

~

The grand doors of Athena’s quarters creaked open, revealing a room bathed in soft, amber light.

Take this with a grain of salt because I obviously don't have the complete context of the rest of the book so far, but I feel like this break is a bit too abrupt pacing-wise. Seems to me like this could be a great place to pause and allow us to dwell a bit with Josephine's inner turmoil and emotions for a bit, even if it's brief. How does she feel now that Persephone is back, for example? Do they speak in private? Does Josephine have a moment to think things over on the journey to Athena? What are her greatest fears in this moment? Can she feel the parts of her power that Hades stole?

Athena leaned back in her chair, her fingers tapping lightly on her desk. “Tell me everything you know. Start from the beginning. What’s Hades’ endgame, and how do you propose we stop him?”

I like the intelligent, straight-forward way that she speaks. Very fitting for Athena.

“Very well. I’ll lend my support,” Athena said, “but, I need to know more about your plan.”

She seems to agree very quickly. How can she trust Josephine so readily, especially since Jase had said earlier that Athena tends to be "very cautious about involving herself"? This may be a good place for Athena to mention what she's heard about Josephine. Maybe she's been impressed with her, from a distance.

Another DoW chapter that I thoroughly enjoyed! Excellent work, Ley!

Wolfi





WHAT'S UP, POTATOES?
— Rudy (Aru Shah and the Nectar of Immortality)