Young Writers Society

Honestly, I felt a little called out by this. The deleted accounts, the ever changing nicknames and profile pictures, the repressing of my past. The dyed hair that I dyed so I could express myself and be happier, but I think deep down is a ridicilous futile attempt to be a chameleon just like on the internet. And yet, every change I make is superficial, not enough. I am just running until everything catches up to me. And it always does. You could say I've almost given up.

"Why should mere strangers, weighed down with sweet, short nicknames from a lonely user who longs for an unlabeled source of happiness and what brightens others' days while letting theirs sink further into the abyss, care about me?"

Been there , felt that. I like how you structured this sentence but it was a little hard to understand simply because of how long it is.

So overall, it's good, relatable, love the title. It really fits and it pulled my attention. I also haven't noticed any mistakes, and the tone is lovely. <3

nice another stream of consciousness essay! these are my favorite. I like the tone of this piece, it is very sad and lost sounding. I have to say, I can relate. I have cut people out of my life before for reasons they do not know, with varying levels of regret.

here are some things I noticed:

"Am I grasping at false hopes, these little bubbles that pop in my mind as the day goes on, of course, no one cares about the self-abandoned person, the one who gave up on themselves?"
this sentence is not phrased as a question but has a question mark. I can see how this could be intentional, and in a poetic work grammar doesn't matter, but still, this stuck out to me.

"Why should mere strangers, weighed down with sweet, short nicknames from a lonely user who longs for an unlabeled source of happiness and what brightens others' days while letting theirs sink further into the abyss, care about me?"
while the long sentences are important to this work, this one seems a little extreme and distracts from the point. I would break it down into two.

"I'm not quite sure yet, but I do know is that I'll miss them regardless of where I land after I slip off the cliff, into either the calming, crashing blue waves or the unrelenting tough dark dirt."
this is some beautiful imagery, describing the earth as unrelenting is a strange choice, but I think it adds a layer of symbolism like the water represents sorrow and the dirt anger? I don't know, that is just my interpretation

overall I like this piece, and I would like to read more from you in the future.

Keep writing
~Corvus

Reading this was oddly familiar, and gave me a melancholy feeling. I relate a lot to the mention of constantly changing to fit in and wondering if people would really care. I can tell a lot of feeling was put into this and I loved the imagery the writing gave me!