Young Writers Society

it is really interesting to see something different. but first of all "(n);" is that an emoticon or rather what should have been an emoticon. well as it doesn't appear you would better delete it as it only disturbs. now for the nitpick-
"eats teddy bears on the weekends"- i really like this phrase, it gives it a quite cute description, and even childish.
"When one plays with it, they may see it transform before their eyes into something mysterious and beautiful."- this reminds me of a Shakespearean quote " sweet are the uses of adversity" . you see your imagination is great and well polished and animated, but some readers may not get the hint you suggest as you seem confusing in the line- "in reality is a harmless creature that just wants to be played with."- its not just used as a symbol of terror but also power. i would like to know from where you derived your imagination, and even though i loved your work you struck me with a note where you were against that which is mythical.
is this really a poem? as to me it seemed more like a paragraph then a stanza. clarify this point to me if you have got some free time.
keep writing,
Rituparna

Emerald here for a review!


First off I want to say that I LOVE short poems like this, long ones most often get boring to me in the middle of reading it, but this is a perfect size! This was something interesting and new to me and I enjoyed reading it very much!

One thing you might want to try is to do this next time you do a poem

"A shapeless beast with bats for eyes and keyboard letters for teeth.

It has plum-painted nails so sharp they can rip through glass and a nose a little bit like a chipmunk that twitches a lot."

Although, I can see now you made it the way you did... xD

Well, this was an interesting poem and I hope to see more from you soon Lily!

Rating: 8.9/10
Earned a follower *Thumbs Up*

Dearest DragonLily, I am now challenging your draw your lovely, quite haunting, description of the beast named Anything. Lots of love, Dracula.

Seriously though, you've got to have a go at drawing this! I definitely know that I could not, nor could any other artist. But you imagined it, so have a go. :p However, it might be difficult to draw a 'shapeless' beast. This brings me to a question. If it is shapeless, how can Anything have bats for eyes and a shapeless tail? Because bats have a shape, and a tail must have a shape or it isn't a tail. I suggest that instead of saying it's shapeless, say that its shape is always changing, or changes depending on who views it (like a boggart). This was really imaginative though, and I really liked it.

Hello again, DragonLily.

I really enjoyed this. I don't know if I find it humorous, but I really liked the ride that you took your readers on. I'm not sure this is poetry, but it is certainly something.

I think you might want to name it something different than "anything," though. Particularly if it specifically stalks writers. Maybe it's imagination, or something, rather than anything.

and a nose a little bit like a chipmunk that twitches a lot.

It tends to stalk

This gives me quite the mental image. XD