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E - Everyone


by Vulcanite

Chapter 3

Two Weeks Later The Meeting

A symphony of sunlight lit up a room striking an eagles feathers. Talon Eye woke up he opened his eyes then got a sharp slice of sunlight though them. He closed them shut trying to get ust to it. someone then noked on the door.

"Can I come in it is your general speaking," General Morbeck asked. Talon Eye got up fast and layed his bed.

"You may come in sir," Talon Eye answered as he stood at a tenchon. The silver round door handle moved as the brown door opened. a big Blackish brown eagle walked into the room and stood in front of Talon Eye.

"Chief Coltharn wants to see us all in the meeting room, I believe that it is something in portint," He said as he stated to leave the room. Takasol then came and turned to them both.

"Hello sir hello Talon Eye," He said as he started walking of to the meeting room.

“Show of,” Talon Eye thought to himself as he sore Takasol go post. Morbeck and Talon Eye followed him and a lot of other eagles. Tinala then came up to Talon Eye she looked at him and he looked at her.

"What do you think he wants to talk to us about this time, last time it was something about the Argathik eagles," Tinala said looking at him with her sharp sitted look, Talon Eye had the hole I am so seirs face on.

"I don't no, but the last one was nearly two months ago will have to find out won't we," Talon Eye said thinking about the last meeting.

"I gess so," Tinala said looking at the general. When ever they had to go to a meeting it was always very in portent.

"I hope that we don't have to get ready for a war our something like that," Talon Eye though starting to worry. All the eagles crowded into each other as they came into the meeting room. Talon Eye pushed through to the front row he then sat down. An eagle Called Bakatarby then sat nixed to him. Bakatarby’s beak was fool of mud and extremely blunt so was his claws. Talon Eye was now hopping that this was not a meeting for lecturing them all because of how they looked, or about some of the eagles that are not listening to there trainer. For Talon Eye’s training was going really well for his grad. Bakatarby was also one that had gone back to Eyedis. Takasol sat on the other side of Talon Eye. Everyone was now seated and all of them were now waiting for the chief to start the meeting. Coltharn then came in front of all the listeners his eyes looked at every single eagle that was sitting before him.

“Good morning everybody,” He said his voice sounded so plight and calm it could not have been much if he was so relaxed.

“Good morning chief,” Everyone answered looking stat up at Coltharn. Even though he looked relaxed there was still a bit of an easy feeling about him.

“do you remember how I said in our last meeting that the argathik eagles might be a new threat to us all,” He said as his voice got harsh, the words rolled around the room like clashing swords. Everyone nodded their heads. Talon Eye and some other eagle then swallowed a big gob of spit when they heard Coltharn say this. They were all waiting for the next words.

“Well they seem to be planning an a tack against us all, and they can do it at any time when we least expect it,” He said as he tapped his talons on the wooden plat form.

“I new this was not going to be good,” Talon Eye thought to himself scared of what was coming next. It felt like all of the other eagles in the room were thinking the same thing.

“A lot of you are not quite ready for battle yet but you must still fight for the village when the time comes, you are strong and brave,” chief said knowing that Eyedis’s class will not last long in a battle. Ever one remand quite.

“Also the highest trainers will have there sons and daughters next to them in the battle no mater the cost, for you are good fighters so a lot of the argathik eagles will gain up on you at ones you children can worn you when they come,” Coltharn said looking at all of his top fighters.

“now do any of you have a question our an anions meant that you want to make?” he asked. Morbeck and Talon Eye razed there wings.

“All right Talon Eye you go first is it a normal question our a anions meant?” chief Coltharn said looking at the youngster.

“Normal question sir,” Talon Eye said.

“All right then what is it,” chief Coltharn asked still looking at him.

“What if some of the argathik eagles get past our Defends for we do not know how they fight, then what are we going to do?” Talon Eye asked not really shore if they could beet a new enemy that they did not no.

“We will leave some of our best solders and guards at the village gates and over hear, anything else Talon Eye,” The chief answered as though he really did have this all worked out in his head so that nothing could go wrong.

“No that is all thank you,” Talon Eye said being as plight as possible. He hopped that he would never have to fight the agarthik eagles and if he did he was hopping that no one of this tribe would get hert.

“now general Morbeck what do have to say question or anions meant,” The Chief said looking at Morbeck hew did not look very happy for some reason. Talon Eye new that Morbeck was going to make anions meant for it looked like he had a lot to say about something that the chief had machined some were in the meeting, and Talon Eye was just getting ready for it.

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518 Reviews

Points: 7946
Reviews: 518

Sun May 26, 2019 12:58 am
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felistia wrote a review...

Hi, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day. :D


Talon Eye woke up he opened his eyes then got a sharp slice of sunlight though them. He closed them shut trying to get ust to it. someone then noked on the door.

There are a few spelling mistakes here and the sentence structure is a little off. Maybe it could look something like this

Talon Eye woke up and opened his eyes. He closed them shut again as a sharp slice of sunlight struck them.

Someone then knocked on the door.

Talon Eye answered as he stood at a tenchon.

Another little spelling mistake here.

Talon Eye answered as he stood at attention

a big Blackish brown eagle walked into the room

Should be,
A big blackish brown eagle walked into the room

meeting room, I believe that it is something in portint

Should be,
meeting room. I believe that it is something important

There are a few mistakes like this through out the chapter. Be on the look out for spelling errors, places were there should or shouldn't be a capital, places were two sentences run into each other and things like that.

Overall thoughts

The story is very interesting so far. I like the characters and it's interesting that they're eagles.

This does bring up something though. A lot of the time the eagles are doing things that are very human such as sleeping in and making a bed, turning door handles and other things like that. I'm not saying that that's wrong.

I'm just wondering if it might be even more interesting if you did things so that they seemed more like eagles. For instance instead of a bed maybe have it be a nest? Instead of doors with door handles that need to be turned what if you made it just a door way with a almost rag curtain hanging from top of the door frame. Just some thoughts.

Overall this was a great chapter and I'll be onto the next one as soon as I can. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night. :D

Your friend, Felistia. :D

Vulcanite says...

Aww thanks felistia for the review your advise is always helpful to me. :D also thanks I will think of everything you said here. thanks again for the review.

User avatar
562 Reviews

Points: 14535
Reviews: 562

Mon May 20, 2019 12:22 am
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FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...

Hello, Eagle. I am here with yet another review for you on your work. I hope it helps like normal, and I wish to get your work out the green room for you.

Okay let's start.
So I did see a few things that need to be fixed, but I'm not going to go through the whole chapter this time and point them all out, I'll just do a few.

Here is the first one.

someone then noked on the door.

Now I'm sure you know that the words in bold is what needs to be fixed. So I'm sure you know that the S on someone needs to be a capitol, Don't worry I make this mistake all the time. The other one is just a silly spelling mistake, you spell it like this, 'knocked'.

Here is the next one.
Talon Eye got up fast and layed his bed.

So the first word in bold is spelt write, but it doesn't quit fit the sentence, it would go better if you changed it to 'quickly'. The there word is just a spelling mistake, you spell it like this. 'laid'.

Okay moving onto the next one.
I believe that it is something in portint," He said as he stated to leave the room.

There both small spelling mistakes, the first one you spell like this, 'important'. And the there word in bold you spell like this, 'started'.

Well I just got the first few I could see that needed to be fixed, I didn't want to go through the whole chapter again like I normally do because your just making small spelling mistakes that you should just look out for.

Now I want to talk about the good stuff.

I can see the plot is beginning to move forward quit nicely, We are starting to get some were in the story, and that's good, because you don't want to talk to long to get into the story, other wise your readers will get board. But I think your doing a good job so far.

I really like how your bringing new characters slowly but not to slowly, and your letting us get to know them in there own ways. Talon Eye I'm really getting to know, and feel the worry and sadness he feels. And I'm quit excited to see what we will do next, and how he will cope in tough situations. But that I will have to wait to see.

I am super happy with how your description has come along, I didn't think it would get this good so quickly. The way you opened your chapter was the perfect way to get your readers hooked.

Over all everything was spot on and I can't wait to read more, I'm glad I had the chance to read and review your word. Don't stop writing and post again on YWS real soon. Never stop writing and have a great day or night.

Your friend, and faithful reader
Reviewing with a fiery passion.

Vulcanite says...

Thanks for the real nice and helpful review, I am really happy you liked it. :D :D :D :D

I'm glad I could help

I'm glad I could help

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
— Mark Twain